Thursday, 26 June 2008

MUGABE LOOKS LIKE HITLER*

*The pub quiz team name . . .

I woke up this morning, feeling a little the worse for wear, rolled over and for a moment was surprised to see my sister next to me. There was also tons of chocolate bars on my desk. "Where did they come from?" I asked, wondering if there had been a food-drop during the night.

My sister rolled her eyes. "We bought them in the Co-op on the way home last night."

Ooops. I didn't remember being IN the Co-op . . .

For some unknown reason, yesterday I was popular. I had six - count em, SIX! - individual invites to do various things. Obviously I couldn't do them all, but I managed to combine meeting my sister with going to a pub quiz, so managed two of the six - better than nothing!

Last night I drank - half a bottle of rose wine, French Martini, a large glass of white wine, a Malibu and pineapple and three further glasses of white wine. Funnily enough, I also didn't manage to help our team to victory. Wonder why . . .

It wasn't the most practical of set-ups anyway - due to a distinct lack of free tables, our five team members were sitting down one side of a long table - with two other teams ALSO sitting at it, and the team at the table behind us also within eardropping distance. So we had to employ some sort of Chinese whispery effect - not sure all the answers that made it to paper actually matched the original response.

Then there was the anagram one - one of the girls had spent ages staring at it trying to work it out assuming it was a band (apparently it usually is!) - she said "what band has V and L in it?" That must have stuck in my head because then, when the quizmaster told us it was a household object, I didn't even have to look at the anagram again to shout out "VACUUM CLEANER!"

"Yeah P, tell the whole place why don't you?" one of the guys said.

I repeat - Oops.

I love quizzes because I love to show off my mastery of general knowledge. (I was actually the captain of the primary school quiz team - although we went out after the first round of the Schools Quiz . . . not my fault, I must add!!!) The problem was, I hardly knew the answers to ANY of these questions. Then again, neither did anyone else. On my team, I mean. Obviously whoever won the quiz must have known more answers than us - or been better guessers. Whoever they were (think their team name had Jobby in the title, which amused me no end) they seemed to be regulars.

Even when they won though, that wasn't the end. For there was some huge cash prize and everyone had a go at it. Even us - despite not even being in the top three. Unfortunately our task as I recall was to manage to bounce a ball on a bat seven times - which sounds deceptively simple but clearly was going to be a massive task while under the influence. Ah well, I knew it was too good to be true . . .

Anyway, as I said, I have no recollection of getting home, apart from knowing I was desperate for the loo during the walk. My sister claims she had to undress me - unfortunately she forgot to take the two metal hairbands I was wearing off so I can still feel the indents that has caused in my scalp even now . . .

Oh, and yesterday I managed to use the phrase "don't hate the player, hate the game" in an email. I was very proud. I've yet to manage to describe someone as a "bag of dicks" though. That's my next challenge . . .

5 comments:

  1. It sounds like though your team may not have won, you sure had a lot of fun.

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  2. hey thanks for the shout-out! And I am confident you can accomplish that task.

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  3. Don't hat e the player, hate the game - Classic!! I love it!

    Don't you love drunk emailing when you stare at the screen for an hour making sure you don't sound too drtunk...but then when you look at it the next day it makes no sense at ALL.

    Good times my friend, good times

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  4. I love pub quizs! I'm one of these people that retain ridiculous amounts of useless knowledge, so if you ever need a handy teammate, let me know....

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  5. ahh pub quizzes...miss those. I am of course useless at everything except music ..so I just feel stupid most of the time. But it is a good excuse to drink allot, because you can blame it n the alcohol (well i do) when I pretend i cant rememebr the answer to a question

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