Sunday, 29 June 2008

CHEEKY VIMTOS, CHINESE FOOD . . . AND SLEAZY DUDES

Just home from last night (not in THAT way, I stayed at my friend's flat, I honestly WASN'T being a dirty stopout - chance would be a fine thing!. After getting pissed in her flat on Cheeky Vimtos (a mixture of port and Blue Wkd - which is surprisingly delicious) out of a leaky cocktail fountain, chowing down on a Chinese takeaway and not managing to get out until ten pm, it was only logical that we would have to go dancing - so headed off to the local club of the area . . . The Shed. Cheesy pop at its finest - in theory!

By the time we got there, I was already pretty damn drunk so sensibly, for moi, decided to go onto water. Didn't stop me dancing away like a maniac though - before long I was feeling decidedly warm and had a major bad case of clubber's hair (you know when you've been dancing so hard that the underneath of your hair ends up all wet and suddenly you have hair which is bordering on an afro, no matter how straight it started? If anyone knows of a way to avoid this happening, i would be extremely grateful for any advice!) And I was looking around for any good looking (and possibly desperate) guys that might be able to help me break my snog drought (four months and counting . . .) and coming up with amazingly few. As is always the way, the majority of the presentable ones already had a girlfriend with her tongue halfway down their throat, so I kind of struck out on that idea.

Towards the end of the night, some guy started dancing right behind me and one of my mates said "I think he's trying to dance with you P". Fair enough - I decided to give him a try. Turned around . . . wasn't amazingly impressed. Nice body but a bit smug and sleazy looking. I can't really describe him but thought, well, who am I to judge, he might be a nice guy.

"Who are you?" he asked me, while pulling me away from my friends into the middle of the dance floor.

"Who are YOU?" I retorted wittily. Neither of us introduced ourselves in the end.

So we danced for a bit and the longer we danced the more I became convinced that this was NOT someone I wanted to kiss. Not remotely. The smug smile on his face didn't help - neither did the stupid gestures he was making as we danced. Not to mention the fact that at least three guys walked past and asked him where his girlfriend was . . . By the time he started pretending to pimp me out to the guy standing next to him, I'd had enough. "I'm going to find my friends," I said, turning away.

"Wait, sorry, I was only kidding," he said, looking a bit taken aback.

"Nah, you're alright." He'd provided me with the perfect excuse to walk off, much to my relief. I didn't even look back. Let's just say that one was NOT a missed opportunity, and not someone I'm going to regret not kissing . . .

Speaking of which, I've officially given up on the London guy by the way. Still no reply and that's been over a week now. And no point in chasing him, given the distance, so that's that. You never know, we may run into one another again at some point, although it's probably unlikely. Oh well . . .

17 comments:

  1. I hate sleazy guys. There's always a dozen or more of those at every club. There is no escaping them

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  2. Four months without a snog? You? Surely not!

    And your night sounds exactly why I don't like clubbing unless I'm already with girls beforehand....

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  3. The Shed has to be the weirdest club ever - slap bang in the middle of a residential area, with nothing really nearby. For a city outfit it's all decidedly odd...

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  4. Laundramatic - true true! The question is why is it always the sleazy ones who decide to approach me??? :(

    Red Squirrel - I'm afraid, sadly, that it's true, i am officially four months snogless. BUT I'm also not desperate, which is why I was not going to snog Mr Sleaze!

    Ant - yeah, that's true, all the pubs in Shawlands seem to be a bit of a trek from The Shed, with the exception of The Corona, which is a bit old manlike!

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  5. Agreed on very much disliking the sleazy dudes.... but, hey, at least he didnt try snogging you without your permission. Thats happened to me and someone grabbing the back of your head and pretty much running their tongue all over your face in an effort to put it in your mouth is not pleasant at all....

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  6. Amy - ew ew EW!!! You poor thing. Although I seem to remember something similar happening to me a few years back . . .

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  7. I have never found an answer to club hair except to periodically stop dancing and dab my neck with a bar napkin but even that doesn't help the fro-eyness. I hate it.

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  8. Paula- periodically tie your hair up and make at least one or two trips to the ladies to dry off the back with the handdryer and apply hair serum :)

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  9. Oooooooooooo cheeky vimto's are dangerous!
    Sounds like a good night though, even with the dude!

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  10. oooh don't get me started on cheeky vimtos. They are the devils drink. Taste fine, but afterwards they go to your head lol

    sounds like a good night if it wern't for sleazy guys. The non sleazy ones are always the ones not dancing or something lol

    good blog

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  11. If London guy is meant for you it will fall in place.

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  12. jk - but what if you don't WANT to stop dancing??? :) Rihanna said it best when she said "Please don't stop the music . . ."

    meghan - if i tie my hair up won't it go kinky (ooh-er) though???

    pinkjellybaby - but oh so delicious (the alcohol, NOT the creepy dude!)

    mal - yeah that's probably true. i need to find a way to make the non sleazy guys dance!

    jamie - i actually shudder at the memory of this guy touching me, so DEFINITELY in agreement!

    mae - hope you're right!!! thanks.

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  13. Oh God, I totally hate the club hair with the sweat that is disgusting underneath your hair. Ewww. As far as I know there is nothing to cure that except sticking your head next to a fan :)

    And guys being unreliable? totally over it, and guys :)

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  14. what can you expect really from a place called The Shed, wow you have to take me there one day.

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  15. I hate hate hate the whole male tactic of dancing with you without you ever knowing it. Ugh.

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  16. Kayleigh - perhaps the only solution is not to dance? sadly I'm starting to come to that conclusion!

    Chele - anytime! We can also go to The Garage, Viper and The Buff Club, among others. And my own personal favourite - the eighties bar Reflex!!!

    PP - "Ugh" is indeed the word!

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