Wednesday, 23 April 2008

DRUNKEN HUMPDAY ANECDOTES...

...While me and my sis were wondering around Borders looking for Spanish phrasebooks (my sis's idea) after a cocktail and half a bottle of rose wine each...

P and L drunkenly wander into the children's section and come across some Little Miss and Mr Toys . . .

L: Check this one out (holds up a little Miss toy)
P: Oh she's cute, what's her name?
L: (studies the label) Miss Poontang
P: (not really aware her sister is joking) Er - really? (grabs the toy and studies the label herself). No it says Little Miss . . . Kering. (looks puzzled) What the heck does THAT mean?
L: I think it is saying it's a keyring.
P: (feeling a bit thick) Oh right, i see.


Later on as P walks home from the underground and sees a guy who she mistakenly believes to be walking in her direction . . .

P: (to herself, but really to the guy at the other end of the street). Oh you had BETTER not be getting in my way here. I was on THIS side of the pavement first, what the fuck do you think you are doing, you total twat. I swear to god, if you do not move out of my way right now, I will smash you into next Tuesday with my fist, move, for fucks sake, move!!! Unless you are walking in the other direction I will . . . Oh yeah, you ARE walking in the opposite direction, you're walking away from me. Oops. Forget I said anything...

8 comments:

  1. Haha-- kering is the latest slang, don't you know?

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  2. Total twat. Hahahahahaha. My gma used to say taht.

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  3. All my English family always try to get me to master exactly how to say "twat." I just can't seem to get it ride in my thick American accent.

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  4. hahah and how did the idea of the spanish phrase book come about?

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  5. Haha, I love drunken conversations like that. Actually, any drunken times with friends are fun.

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  6. OH I love drunken stops at book stores...so much to read and LAUGH AT!

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  7. Stories are ALWAYS good when there is alcohol involved!

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