I know this from personal experience. Look at this post, for example, from a few months ago, where I talk about the sometimes false impressions various social media platforms may have given about me in the past (and present, and future) and you'll see what I mean.
I wanted to revisit one of the points I made back in that post - the one about me possibly sometimes giving the impression that I'm really outdoorsy and active when in actuality I am often just hopping out of the car for a moment or two to take a picture while whining about it being too cold and windy. One time, actually, on the Isle of Skye, it was so windy my phone actually blew out of my hand! But I digress.
My point here is . . . I do actually walk sometimes. And, like I said back in that post, I'm usually not too happy about it.
I start off happy. I'm always enthusiastic about the idea of walking up a hill or the side of a waterfall. Initially. I actually do like walking. It's just I generally prefer my walking on the flat. Unfortunately, most pretty things made in nature are not on the flat. So it's a necessary evil.
On one recent walk, the fella threatened to start a Tumblr about the things I come out with when I'm on one of these very trying walks. I'm pretty sure they are normal things for people to say though. You want some examples??? I have a few . . .
- "Why is it so steep?"
- "Why are you walking so fast? Do you not want to be seen with me?"
- "Why aren't we there yet?"
- "My feet are wet!"
- "I'm SINKING!"
- "I thought you said this was only going to be five minutes? That's been five minutes. Since the last time you said five minutes!"
- "WHERE DID THIS NEW BIT OF HILL APPEAR FROM? I THOUGHT WE WERE NEARLY THERE! YOU CAN'T SEE THIS FROM THE ROAD!"
- "You mean this isn't the top????"
- "My calves hurt sooooo much."
Let me give you a wee bit of background of what I was whining about behind some of these pictures which may or may not have appeared on social media . . .
Kilpatrick Hills, the other week . . . "Why did you tell me that those five year olds were catching up on me? You know I don't like being chased!!!"
Conic Hill, last month . . . "What do you mean 'we need to move; it's going to rain'? I only walked up here so I could sunbathe at the top!!!"
Queen's View, the day after Conic Hill (I must be a sucker for punishment) . . . "well we're going to have to go back to yours before we go bowling now because MY FEET ARE COVERED IN MUD!"
In Glenashdale Forest on the Isle of Arran . . . "I'm just going to hide behind this tree until you agree we can give up and go back to the car."
Okay . . . that one was a bit of a joke. But by the time I'd tried to walk from the Glenashdale Falls to the Giant's Graves, which I believed would be less than five minutes walk apart, I was NOT a happy P. :-(
See? Chief Grumpus is reigning supreme in this little pic!
So I guess there are a couple of morals to this little story . . .
1) I am an unfit, belligerent git but I still like to look at pretty views
2) If you have been reading my Scotland the Beautiful posts and I describe something as being an easy walk, it really is easy!
Oh and the final lesson?
I keep thinking I want to climb a Munro.
Based on all of the above, I'm probably not ready.