Wednesday, 9 March 2016

ON WHY SHOPPING SUCKS . . .

Holy crap, I HATE shopping. Some people love it, but I find it an absolute chore. I have to physically psych myself up to do it, and often end up giving up midway through.

Here's a small list of some of the things that annoy me and/or stress me out about shopping.



Other people

I hate other people. They get in my way. They shout in my ear. They stand right behind me when I'm trying to find something in my size or check the nutrition value of something and make me want to turn around and slap them. Shopping causes too much exposure to other people. Therefore it must be avoided as much as possible.

Conversation

I hate small talk. And I've noticed that more and more staff in shops these days are trying to make small talk with you when you're buying something. I know they're just trying to be friendly but I'm not always in the mood. And one time I walked into a Lush and had eight individual members of staff say hello to me as I walked around. And I was only there for about 90 seconds because I was starting to get scared.

The changing room dilemma

I hate trying things on. It's all I can do to get dressed once in the morning and then into my PJs at night - actually going into a changing room and repeatedly changing my clothes (and ultimately being disappointed by whatever I'm trying on) is an absolute massive effort. But if you don't try them on and they don't fit, you're going to then have the "do I return it?" dilemma. Unsurprisingly I have a lot of unreturned clothes, since returning things necessitates technically going shopping again.

The queue conundrum

Even queuing to buy whatever you want is rarely straightforward. There's either a massive queue when all you want to do is buy one bloody pack of black tights (Primark, am I right?) or there's no queue and no one at the counter to serve you so you're standing there like a knob looking around for a member of staff to actually pay you some attention. Even worse if it's a department store and you don't actually know if the particular counter you've chosen is even open. And if I'm in a supermarket, I have a gift for always choosing the wrong queue - the one who has a problematic customer or a broken till. It's actually quite uncanny.

Packing Problems

This specifically happens to me in Lidl. Have you ever shopped in Lidl? They scan your products like lightning and you're out of puff just trying to keep up with packing your shit away. Talk about a calorie burner! Oh . . . and how often do you end up forgetting to bring a bag and have to shell out the extra money for the carrier bag charge? All the bloody time.

Nothing is ever where it's meant to be

Sometimes it's like a fecking treasure hunt just trying to find what you're looking for.  And then, when you finally think you've tracked it down, it turns out it's actually sold out and there's just an empty space on the shelf taunting you. (This regularly happens to me with avocados specifically.) All that hunting for nothing. Nightmare.


And this is why online shopping will always trump physical shopping in my book.

It also means I don't really have to move so it's win-win really . . .

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