Friday, 12 February 2016

"THE FEAR" : A GUIDE . . .

Who hasn't experienced "The Fear"??? I guess the output of The Fear is mostly limited to those who actually consume alcohol so perhaps you haven't experienced it. But, if you are nodding your head to my first sentence and possibly cringing at the vague recollection of something silly you did on a night out - or even the vague recollection of a feeling that you might have done something silly on a night out . . . then maybe you don't need this guide!




WHAT IS "THE FEAR"?

According to Urban Dictionary, The Fear is defined as  "the sense that you have done yourself some lasting damage after a night of drinking".

The damage obviously includes a hangover and its horrendous symptoms, but also the emotional and psychological damage as you try to piece your memories of the previous night together . . . and what you might have done!


THE JOURNEY TOWARDS THE FEAR . . .

  • Ordering a bottle of wine upon arrival at the first bar might help get you on the road to The Fear more quickly than you might normally. Especially if it's just for you. (If you're anything like me though, you'll ask for two glasses just so no one suspects it is just for you.)
  • Deciding that "eating is cheating" is also going to get you headed towards Fearsville. Particularly if you have been recently dieting and/or eating clean and/or not touching a lot of alcohol.
  • Shots. Sambucca makes sense. Or tequila. Or how about a jagerbomb? Or how about a mix of all three  . . .plus some others?
  • Mixing drinks (on top of the wine and shots) - so you think "oh god, I can't drink any more wine. I'll go onto vodka and lemonade" . . .
  • Going to a night out when you have a lot of pent-up frustration about a situation or a person is a very good way of fuelling The Fear . . . especially if the situation is brought up or the person is there.
  • Starting drinking early, being pissed by six pm . . . and still drinking post-midnight is going to give you drunken time to do or say silly things.
THINGS THAT *MAY* HAVE HAPPENED WHEN YOU HAVE THE FEAR . . .

  • You might have tried to kiss someone . . . and been rejected.
  • You might have got into a massive argument with someone who has been annoying you for a while. Or a complete stranger.
  • You might have fallen over on the dancefloor and been unable to get back up without the aid of several strangers.
  • You might have tried to sit down on a chair and missed, fallen on the floor (again) and ended up with a massively bruised arse.
  • You might have started crying over an ex and been a bit of a Debbie Downer but otherwise pretty harmless.
  • You might have actually done nothing wrong or embarrassing at all . . . it's just that you can't properly remember so there's always that possibility that you have something to feel mortified about.
IN CONCLUSION:

Having The Fear sucks . . . it really does. There are no hard and fast rules for how to end up with The Fear and you can never guarantee the actual outcome . . .

However, over the years I have had a few occasions where I've had a bout of The Fear the next day so I consider myself a wee bit of an expert on this subject. Sooooo . . .  if you go on a night out and follow ALL of the hints and tips in that one night . . . then there's a fairly good chance you'll have a very unhealthy dose of The Fear the next day.

And honestly? I wouldn't recommend it.


Have you ever had a particularly bad dose of The Fear?


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