Sunday, 24 January 2016

USA, WILL YOU PLEASE ADOPT ME???

Over the years I've been blogging, I have posted a few guest posts on other blogs. Since I personally think some of them were good subjects, I've decided to re-share some of these on my own blog. This was previously posted on a blog in 2008 which no longer seems to exist. I hope you enjoy!
 
 
USA, WILL YOU PLEASE ADOPT ME???
 
Hi everyone! Some of you (all of you?) might not know me so let me introduce myself . . . (drum roll please!!!) . . . I'm Paula from Insert My Blog Name Here and the reason I'm inserting my BLOG here today (see what I did there?) is because Heidi and myself are taking part in the Twenty Something Bloggers Big Blog Swap.
 
So what to blog about? To be perfectly honest, I was a bit clueless at first as what I could talk about, after all, I've only ever guest-starred on someone else's blog once before and so am a bit of a novice. But then I figured in honour of the fact I'm posting on an American blog, I would do a little something in honour of this. So here goes . . .
 
When I was a kid I always believed I was born in the wrong country – more specifically, I believed I should have been born in the USA. Even MORE specifically, I believed I should have lived in Sweet Valley, California, and gone to Sweet Valley High.
 
Unrealistic, I know. Just a smidgen. After all, Sweet Valley isn't a real place after all, and my dreams of being Jessica Wakefield's best friend and co-captain of the cheerleading squad probably would have been futile anyway. After all, I wasn't a perfect size six with flaxen hair and eyes the colour of the Pacific. I'd have been more likely to be one of Liz Wakefield's causes, goody-goody that she was – probably because I was being BULLIED by Jessica. But there you go . . .
 
Seriously though, did their lives seem so much more interesting than mine or what? Not least because I didn't have a psycho trying to steal my identity (which to be frank I could probably have lived without). But everything seemed to come so easy for them, didn't it?
  • Break up with your boyfriend? Don't worry, a gorgeous new guy is just about to come into town. You may have to fight for him, perhaps even for the entire length of a book, but don't worry, you'll always come out on top.
  • Overweight? Don't worry - you'll lose tons of weight, possibly without even TRYING, become a cheerleader and meet a great guy. (And possibly end up with an eating disorder a year later, but let's not dwell on that one.)
  • Bullied? Don't worry, you'll be popular in several books time. (Possibly because you've became a cheerleader and met a great guy).
  • Without a date for the prom? Don't worry, there's always a spare hunky guy around to ask you.
I can't help but feel a little cheated. Because my life was never like that. We stopped having school dances after my first year in high school because half the year (and bear in mind there were 350 plus of us in the year so we're talking a fairly significant amount of kids here) were drunk and disorderly – at the ages of eleven and twelve!!! We had a school prom but I didn't go. I was never asked on a date in high school. I was never particularly popular. When a guy loads of people fancied admitted to one of my friends he liked me, I honestly thought it was a joke – and it never came to fruition (until three years AFTER high school, that is). I didn't have my first kiss until I was sixteen. I didn't have much of a social life because all my friends were getting into the pub and I was too young to pass for eighteen. AND I DIDN'T HAVE A SODDING SUNTAN because Scotland's weather does not compare remotely to Southern California's.
 
When I was younger I had this idea that all of American teenagers are like characters from Sweet Valley High (although I suppose programmes like “The Hills” and “My Supersweet 16” do sort of reinforce that stereotype) and I was so jealous. Then recently I found a website which basically rips the whole idea of Sweet Valley High apart – and I realised just how unrealistic my view actually had been while I was growing up. I can't BELIEVE it took me that long to realise that (how dumb AM I?) but it did!
 
I'm sure it's just another symptom of the “grass is always greener” syndrome, but I do feel like my adolescence was tainted by the view that my life wasn't good enough. Even now I sometimes think people in the States have a far better life than I do – that everything seems ten times more exciting. Please reassure me that I'm wrong???
 
And does anyone fancy a life swap???

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