Saturday, 28 November 2015


Every year I'm baffled by some of the gift ideas I see online; below is this year's selection!

Unicorn Tears Gin Liqueur

Why would you want to drink a unicorn's tears? I'm not wanting to have any part in upsetting a unicorn! (And pay forty quid for that dubious privilege at that!)

Flatulence underwear

Now, I don't know about you but I would be delighted to received these. (In case it wasn't clear, that previous sentence is heavy on the sarcasm.) This underwear (also available for men, in case you were wondering) will allow you to "finally trump with confidence" and will apparently hide the smell. Would you be happy to receive such a present? All jokes aside though, I would recommend clicking on the link as some of the blurb on the website is particularly priceless - including a reminder that the underwear is not a nappy . . .

 A Practical Guide to Racism

My immediate reaction to receiving such a book as a gift would be "do people think I'm racist?".  It would eat away at me like a tapeworm. Enough said.

Nothing (for the person who has everything)

I can give someone nothing any time I want and I don't have to pay £6.99 or postage and packing.

Bacon Wallet

Maybe it's because I'm missing the "I couldn't be a vegetarian because bacon" gene. Or the fact that I like my accessories to actually look nice. But I can't get on board with this one at all. (I'm assuming the hand in the picture is not included.)

Here's hoping I don't receive any of these presents . . . but I better start preparing my "wow this is just what I wanted" face just in case!

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