Saturday, 20 December 2014

THE GIFT OF GIVING: NEW EDITION!!!

A few years ago, dumbfounded by some of the gifts I spotted online while shopping, I made a post about some of these finds, which later spurned a sequel. Six years on,  I have decided to revisit this post idea this year, so let's see what gift ideas are astonishing me this time around . . .

Period panties
 
 





Do you really want a pair of these? Apparently, they are a good alternative to granny pants and save you having to explain to the man that you're on the blob. (If you're anything like me, it's obvious I'm ABOUT to be on said blob when I have cried uncontrollably about not being able to open a can of tuna for three days beforehand, and the pants are therefore unnecessary.) The only good thing I can see about these is that they're so colourful they'll probably cover up any "leaks" you might have... (TMI I know.)

Hand Sanitiser


I don't really want to dwell on this one but let's just leave it at this: I would be a wee bit hurt if someone gave me any hand sanitiser as a gift, but THIS one would leave me with levels of off-the-chart rage.

Blood Bath Shower Gel


Instead of feeling clean, let's see how it feels to be Janet Leigh in "Psycho". Good plan . . .

Horse's Head Squirrel Feeder


This is going to help us humiliate squirrels apparently. While I suppose it is pretty funny to see a squirrels body peeking out from underneath a horse's head, do you really want a horse's head in your garden? Personally I'd rather just not bother and let the squirrels just get on with things.

Sock Sandals



Personally I think these should be called "sandal socks" - regardless, I find them about as offensive as ACTUAL sandals over socks.

Giant stress boob


I'm sure most people have their biggest stress moments in the workplace... I'm sure it would be SO appropriate for me to, during a stress-out, say "Hold on, let me get my boob out" and start squeezing. Yep. That would definitely help. :-/

Poo Pen


Why would I want to use a pen that looks like a giant jobby? It not only looks disgusting, I think I'd actually find it difficult to write with.

Tinkle and Turd Salt and Pepper Shaker


And speaking of poo... wouldn't these put you off your dinner? That being said, it's probably a good way to cut down on your salt intake?


Don't worry... if any of these gifts actually INTRIGUE you, I've provided links to them all. I'd be interested to know if you buy any... or if you've noticed any other strange gift ideas which you feel would be best avoided!









2 comments:

  1. I would totally buy any/all of these. Especially the period panties...

    Funny story for ya - I found one of the boob stress balls in a co-workers drawer and promptly proceeded to spend the next two weeks moving it from one spot to another on my bosses desk. (this is a senior finance manager in a billion- dollar multinational corporation...) Turns out he was "slightly" stressed as a few weeks there was a "squidge squidge splat" noise followed by "eww I got Jenny's (the former owner of the said stress ball, name changed to protect the innocent) nipple juice all over me!" Guess it only takes a bit of squeezing to break those things!

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  2. I would probably use the period panties. However, I'm always EXTREMELY bloated (as in, I could easily wear a pant size or more larger) during that time of the month.

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