Tuesday, 3 June 2014


While I was in Corfu last month, I decided on impulse that I would give running another try when I got back to Scotland. It seemed to make sense - I hate the gym, I need to lose weight and get a bit fitter, and so many people I know seem to get so much enjoyment out of running that it seemed like a no-brainer.

Let's put to one side the fact that I have "taken up running" at least five times in the past only to fail after approximately three goes at it (maximum), usually because "it's suddenly icy and I might fall" (doesn't really wash in July, not even in Scotland) or "I can't find a decent route", or there was the time that those little ned girls shouted unflattering things about my velour jogging suit as I ran past them near Maryhill one night. That last one was, I admit, my own fault for wearing a velour jogging suit in the first place and I probably didn't help matters by throwing both my middle fingers up in the air after I ran past, but I had a head start so it made sense at the time. And it was ten years ago so I could probably run a bit faster then, having youth on my side. Anyway.

Let's also ignore the fact that most of the time I feel I run with about as much grace as Phoebe from "Friends" and the unflattering colour my face goes when I am working out too hard. This whole running thing made sense, right?

Two and a half weeks, 10 runs and 21 miles into this "running thing" and I've already realised my main problem. And it's a pretty big one.

I cannot fucking run.

And I DON'T actually mean in the Phoebe-from-Friends sense. I mean my legs will physically not allow me to run more than a short distance without forcing me to slow to a virtual stop. I actually have a hell of a lot more stamina than I give myself credit for, and while my legs are screaming "STOP PUNISHING ME, YOU CRAZY PERSON!" I'm actually not particularly out of breath or red in the face. I know people say it's mind over matter or "if it doesn't hurt, it's not worth it" (I hope that's only in reference to exercise, and I may be paraphrasing slightly) but I DON'T WANT TO BE IN PAIN!!!

I've never been a good runner. I managed a couple of short cross-country runs as a child, and then there was the memorable time I came 4th in a school gala day in my hometown. 4th out of 4 people. In a heat. Yep. THAT'S how not good I am.

Maybe some people are destined to be runners and maybe some people are not?

If that is the case, I definitely fall into the latter camp. But, for now, I'll keep trying. Just to make sure.

Anyone else out there not a natural "runner" who has managed to become one? If so, please share - I would like to know how the hell you managed it. And how do I stop my legs from being so sore???


lacochran's evil twin said...

Do you have running shoes? If you don't have the right shoes, you'll probably do yourself some damage.

My problem is I keep expecting to enjoy running and I don't. I do it and I'm improving my endurance (which is lousy) and my mile time (which is lousier) but I never get to the point of "Wow! I love this!!" or even "This doesn't suck."

brokeinthebigsmoke.com said...

I was once told you're either a runner or a cycler and I fully believe this. I hate running with a passion but I can bike for miles! x