Tuesday, 3 June 2014


While I was in Corfu last month, I decided on impulse that I would give running another try when I got back to Scotland. It seemed to make sense - I hate the gym, I need to lose weight and get a bit fitter, and so many people I know seem to get so much enjoyment out of running that it seemed like a no-brainer.

Let's put to one side the fact that I have "taken up running" at least five times in the past only to fail after approximately three goes at it (maximum), usually because "it's suddenly icy and I might fall" (doesn't really wash in July, not even in Scotland) or "I can't find a decent route", or there was the time that those little ned girls shouted unflattering things about my velour jogging suit as I ran past them near Maryhill one night. That last one was, I admit, my own fault for wearing a velour jogging suit in the first place and I probably didn't help matters by throwing both my middle fingers up in the air after I ran past, but I had a head start so it made sense at the time. And it was ten years ago so I could probably run a bit faster then, having youth on my side. Anyway.

Let's also ignore the fact that most of the time I feel I run with about as much grace as Phoebe from "Friends" and the unflattering colour my face goes when I am working out too hard. This whole running thing made sense, right?

Two and a half weeks, 10 runs and 21 miles into this "running thing" and I've already realised my main problem. And it's a pretty big one.

I cannot fucking run.

And I DON'T actually mean in the Phoebe-from-Friends sense. I mean my legs will physically not allow me to run more than a short distance without forcing me to slow to a virtual stop. I actually have a hell of a lot more stamina than I give myself credit for, and while my legs are screaming "STOP PUNISHING ME, YOU CRAZY PERSON!" I'm actually not particularly out of breath or red in the face. I know people say it's mind over matter or "if it doesn't hurt, it's not worth it" (I hope that's only in reference to exercise, and I may be paraphrasing slightly) but I DON'T WANT TO BE IN PAIN!!!

I've never been a good runner. I managed a couple of short cross-country runs as a child, and then there was the memorable time I came 4th in a school gala day in my hometown. 4th out of 4 people. In a heat. Yep. THAT'S how not good I am.

Maybe some people are destined to be runners and maybe some people are not?

If that is the case, I definitely fall into the latter camp. But, for now, I'll keep trying. Just to make sure.

Anyone else out there not a natural "runner" who has managed to become one? If so, please share - I would like to know how the hell you managed it. And how do I stop my legs from being so sore???


  1. Do you have running shoes? If you don't have the right shoes, you'll probably do yourself some damage.

    My problem is I keep expecting to enjoy running and I don't. I do it and I'm improving my endurance (which is lousy) and my mile time (which is lousier) but I never get to the point of "Wow! I love this!!" or even "This doesn't suck."

  2. I was once told you're either a runner or a cycler and I fully believe this. I hate running with a passion but I can bike for miles! x


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