Thursday, 6 March 2014


I've worked in many offices over the last fourteen years or so (jeez, that makes me feel OLD). I'm also prone to being very VERY easily annoyed. Therefore I feel it is about time I use my wealth of experience in both of these areas to share my "favourite" (and that word is heavily laced in sarcasm at the moment) ways to actually make me irritated in the workplace . . .

This mainly means don't put your shit on my desk. I am possessive of my space. It is MY space. You have the same amount of space as I do. If I can't move my own fucking MOUSE cos you have put a pile of paperwork on it then my mouse might end up knocking said paperwork all over the floor. Or I might. One or the other.

Don't leave something randomly on my desk without a) speaking to me about it beforehand b) leaving some sort of note on it explaining what it is and where it has came from or c) emailing me about it to let me know why you have done this. Sometimes it may be obvious. But it's not ALWAYS obvious and I'm not actually psychic.

See that light flashing? It means something. Usually that the paper needs topped up. It doesn't actually top itself up. So if you're printing a shitload of stuff out and that light starts flashing, go and see what it fucking wants. Don't let someone else who is printing out ONE SINGLE SHEET OF PAPER in amongst all your sheafs have to deal with it every time. Not fair, dude.

I've lost count of how many different pairs of scissors I've had in however many jobs over however many years because someone has thoughtfully taken them off my desk and not returned them. Or pens. Or post-its. Wait, no, I'm usually out of post-its because I waste so many by simply doodling on them. And I solved the issue of the pens going missing by ramping up my oh-so-sexy habit of chewing on the ends of them. But scissors... not so easy to keep a hold of. And let's not forget the time in the past that a colleague once actually GAVE AWAY my pritt-stick when I wasn't there. Which takes stationery thievery to a whole new, virtually Robin-Hood-esque level.

I'm easily distracted. This is always going to be an issue I'm going to need to work on. But having people around me make excessive noise is really not going to help me. Things that annoy me the most? People having really loud phone conversations. Really loud coughing. People slamming sheafs of paper off a desk apparently in order to straighten it into order. Loud chewing. I could go on. I probably shouldn't though.

This has only happened to me once, while working for the Con Artist (if you don't know that story, you can find it here) but let's just say working in an office (or ANY kind of job) is made a little more difficult when you're missing your wage at the end of each month. It's definitely the ULTIMATE way to not only ANNOY me in an office, but also to make me feel just a tad stabby...

Anything I've missed? What are your pet peeves if you work in an office?


  1. Hate when people hover around my desk or just show up without scheduling a meeting but expecting a mini session- if you want more than small talk, i need some notice to set aside time!

  2. I greatly dislike most of my coworkers - mainly because they cannot be bothered to do any actual work!!!

    I don't have my own desk. There's one large desk that we all have to share. I open in the mornings and because I'm usually the first one there, I make sure that I get it first. Every morning, I have to straighten things out because my coworkers have moved things around and they're never in the same spot twice in a row. This annoys me.

    I also hate how if I make one small mistake, coworkers have to make a really big deal over it. I don't do that to them!

    One coworker makes a daily habit of showing up late, and coming and going whenever she feels like it throughout her shift. I cannot figure out how she hasn't been fired yet!

    Actually, yes I can! I have no respect for my boss. She will tell my coworkers repeatedly to do or not do something, and said coworkers completely ignore her. Why? Because they can, and there are never any consequences. My boss says she doesn't want anyone to be mad at her or hate her. Then she's in the wrong position then, because sometimes you have to make people angry at you or even hate you in order for them to respect you and follow your rules.

    I could go on and on, but I know you don't really care. lol

  3. Had to look up 'pritt stick'. You people have a different word for EVERYthing. ;)

    You have reminded me of one of my favoritie movies, so thanks for that...

    Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...


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