Saturday, 23 March 2013

BLAHBLAHBLAH . . . TOODRUNKTOTHINKOFATITLE!!!

This next few weeks are going to be relatively busy.

Lots of gym going for me for a start. I may not have caught the gym bug yet - I was all fired up to go tonight and made it NEARLY to the gym before turning around and walking home (in my defence the weather was just shit and I couldn't face having to go back out in it after my workout) - but I have reason to be going now.

The holiday is BOOKED.

Lanzarote in less than three weeks time. Yaaaassss!!!

In addition, as of today, my ferry/bus ticket to Belfast is booked for next Friday. Our old flatmate got married in Florida earlier this month and her reception is next weekend. So in the next three weeks, I'm going to be in Northern Ireland AND THEN in Spanish territory. Bring it. Seriously. Rub it all over my face. I am soooo excited about all of this.

It means I've had to put other stuff off in the meantime, which I'm a wee bit disappointed about. But hopefully it will happen. We'll see.

It's fair to say March hasn't been the best of months. But hopefully I can turn it around. And April? Well, it should be, if not brilliant, then DEFINITELY better than March . . .

Saturday, 16 March 2013

NO FILTER . . .

I've spoken on many occasion about how I have no internal filter and things come out of my mouth that just shouldn't sometimes. This always causes me problems and a wee bit of embarrassment at times . . . but in terms of blogging, it can be comedy gold.

Well. maybe I'm talking myself up a bit too much here. Maybe not comedy gold. Maybe silver. Or bronze. Maybe just a certificate for being there. I don't want to build up false expectations here.

So on Pancake Tuesday last month, me and one of my colleagues were talking about pancakes and our preferences (yes, we have the most intriguing of conversations). I mentioned how I'm not really a fan of the large, thin crepes - I prefer what the Be-ro book (the only recipe book I ever recall us having growing up) refers to as "dropped scones", which are small, thick pancakes with sugar in them. My colleague said he preferred his to be thick too but also large. My response to that was "I've never had a big, thick one."

(Then I realised what I said, realised it sounded a bit like I was referring to a penis, started giggling and went bright red.)

It gets worse. Not long before that me and the SAME colleague were discussing how people found it hard to buy presents for him, because if he wanted a certain thing, he would just go out and buy it himself. I told him "You're the king of self-gratification."

He looked a bit confused but I didn't think much of it. About twenty minutes later, I realised I'd meant to say he was the "king of INSTANT gratification". Self gratification? Something else entirely, and COMPLETELY inappropriate.

But then . . . it's not always me who makes these errors in judgement.  One day we were having our usual banter and he told me (not for the first time) that I'm quite a violent person. Basically, if we were having any sort of argument and he was winning, I would finish the conversation by telling him I was going to punch him. (I don't like losing arguments.) In response to my reaction to his comment about me being violent, he then responded:

"I'm starting to think I should just lie down and let you finish me off."

Yeah. I didn't mention until a couple of days later how bad that one sounded, because he didn't seem to realise himself. Once I DID point it out, he was a tad embarrassed. Because obviously that was NOT what he meant.

Had any embarrassing gaffes with YOUR internal filter (or lack thereof) recently?

Sunday, 10 March 2013

BACK ON IT . . .

So recently I suffered a bit of disappointment in a professional capacity. I'm not going to go into it on here, because I don't really like to discuss that stuff, but I've re-grouped and decided that my work-life balance was a bit screwed up over the past few weeks, mainly because I was trying to impress. Not that it mattered.

Haha.

So I've decided that I'm going to concentrate on me from now on, and try and get fit and healthy, like I've been saying over and over I'll do for AGES. I've been to the gym a couple of times over the last two weeks, but I'm going to get back into leaving-the-office-at-4pm-and-going-straight-there; I'm going to try and do the new exercise dvds I have more regularly also. I've still got my once-a-week pole class to keep me going too.

Then there's the diet. Back on a Harcombe-type no-fat-and-carbs mixing as of tomorrow also. There's going to be lots of protein, more fruit and veg, healthier carbs. Far less alcohol. And a lot more water.

What's my motivation? I want to look good in a bikini, in case I get to go on holiday in the next month or so (fingers crossed.) I want to look good OUT of a bikini too  . . . just in . . . CASE! And I want to just feel overall better about myself. Okay, I didn't get the job I wanted, but that doesn't mean I can't look and feel better NOT doing it.

Wish me luck! And if you have any tips or advice you think would help, feel free to share...

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN A HURRY* . . .

  • LAST MINUTE MAKE-UP TOUCH-UPS

You're just about to leave the house, your make-up is perfect but you suddenly think . . . "you know, I could use one more coat of mascara". Don't do it. I repeat. Don't. Do. It. You can almost guarantee you'll poke yourself in the eye with the wand, or your lashes will end up clumpy, or you'll end up with a big glob of mascara on your cheek which will take your foundation off with it when you try to wipe it off so you practically have to start from scratch all over again or go out with only half your "face" on. Or you might get it in your hair. Or on your clothes. It's just not wise. Trust me.

  • FAKE TAN
One should NEVER fake tan in a hurry. Even if one thinks that one is an expert in the field of fake tanning. It's going to end in tears . . . and streaks. Almost 100 per cent guaranteed.


  • GIVING YOURSELF A HAIRCUT
To be honest, you probably shouldn't do this at all. I've been trying to curb my habit of cutting my hair with stationery scissors of late. Last time I think my hair ended up about two inches longer on the left than it was on the right.


  • PREPARING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW
I could actually prepare for a job interview forEVER and still not be ready (my recent - this week - failed attempt to get the same job I was doing last year proves that), but you should never do this half-assed in a hurry. You WILL be unprepared and you WILL end up looking like an arse.

  • TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT
It's destined to fail and, even you DO lose weight in a hurry, it will pile back on the second you stop faster than you can say "yoyo dieting is bad for you". So just don't. (My crash diet starts tomorrow, by the way...)

  • NAIL POLISH
Nail polish needs time to dry. And - here's the kicker - sometimes even when you think it's ALREADY dry . . . turns out it's not. It's a sly little motherfucker and no mistake.


  • CORRECTING A TEXT MESSAGE MISTAKE
If you send a text message and make a mistake in it, the obvious thing is to text as quickly as possible to correct the error. More often than not though, this results in you texting the exact same mistake again. And occasionally again. And often again. If you trawl through the Damnyouautocorrect archives, you will realise this pretty quickly.


*Most of these things could also be applied to the same "things you shouldn't do while drunk" theory by the way.


What shouldn't YOU do in a hurry?