Saturday, 5 October 2013

ON WHY I'M IRRESISTIBLE . .

So I got back from Majorca earlier today. Had a lovely relaxing time, despite finding out in the early hours of Saturday morning (bearing in mind I was getting up at 4am to be picked up) that something in my bathroom had caused the flats directly underneath me to flood, which started the holiday off for me with quite a bit of stress. But that SEEMS to have been sorted okay, so I tried, after I'd put my landlord and my dad (who had the spare keys) in touch, to not think about that too much.

The weather wasn't AMAZING, although certainly better than it is MEANT to be at this time of year, so my tan isn't brilliant. But I wasn't expecting it to be fantastic so I wasn't that bothered about that.

It was the mosquitos that cast the cloud over my holiday.

Because I am apparently irresistible to them. On a daily basis, several of them would feast on my flesh, taking chunks out of me.

The bastards.

We bought citronella spray to try and ward them off. We bought cream to soothe them. They still loved us, even with our pores oozing citronella, and the wounds caused by the bites were not calmed by the cream. To add insult to injury, they seemed determined to invade our hotel room and attack us there, like silent assassins. One night I got my exercise jumping about on our beds swatting them with a magazine as they congregated on the ceiling to plan their next attack of our bodies.

It seemed like virtually ever hour one of us would find a new bite. At one point I was bitten on the sole of my foot. THE SOLE OF MY FUCKING FOOT!!! It hurt to walk for two days.

It's also even harder than usual to attempt to tan one's legs when they are dotted in possibly infected bites. I could barely even stand to LOOK at them, let alone let other PEOPLE look at them.

This is the only reason why I'm actually happy I'm home. I'm also under strict instructions from my mum to make sure I contact her every day so she knows I haven't came down with malaria or some other mosquito bite related disease.

It's a shame that whatever makes me irresistible to mosquitos doesn't also make me irresistible to men.

But I guess 90 % proof blood isn't what most men are after....

4 comments:

  1. You poor thing! I am also irresistible to mosquitos. They'll find me wherever I am and just feast on my blood. Maybe it's a blood type thing? Who knows. All I know is my husband is like a human mosquito repellent. They hate him. He NEVER gets bitten. Ever. If he does, it's because the mosquitos are swarming and desperate (ie have already sucked all of my blood out or I'm not there). Once he came up to me all concerned.
    "There's something on my arm. Could you please have a look?" I thought I'd find some kind of freaky growth or a tick bite or some kind of awful skin cancer judging from the look on his face...but no. He had a mossie bite and he didn't know what it is. BECAUSE HE HASN'T BEEN BITTEN ENOUGH IN HIS LIFE TO KNOW WHAT THE BITES LOOK LIKE.
    I hate him. Haha.

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  2. How horrible. Hoping the night life made up the daytime pain.

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  3. I seem to attract the mosquitoes too. And even worse, bees find me absolutely irresistible. I say worse, because I'm allergic to bee stings.

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  4. Ugh that stinks! My brothers have that charm too.

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