Sunday, 28 July 2013

NAUGHTY . . .

Last weekend I kissed someone I shouldn't have.

It lasted thirty seconds max, and was an impulsive drunken snog, but it shouldn't have happened. The guy in question has been in a relationship for at least six months. I wasn't even trying to snog him; I had decided in my drunkenness that I was going to kiss one of the other guys out with us (who may or may not also have a girlfriend - so THAT wouldn't have been any better), but somehow I ended up snogging the wrong one. Don't ask me why - I can't even explain it. It was like half two in the morning and the drinks had been flowing for a good few hours and the only thing saving me from an utterly horrendous hangover the next day was the fact that I had actually eaten something for a change.

Anyway, yeah. I'm not too bothered about the kiss. It WAS a good kiss, and I used to have a teeny bit of a thing for the guy in question, but not anymore. So as far as I'm concerned that was that. Just a one-off, blah blah blah.

But it's got me thinking about the rights and the wrongs of it all. Obviously, I'm single so I *technically* wasn't doing anything wrong. But what he did... does that qualify as cheating? For all I know, it could have been all me. I don't THINK it was, but I also know that I've pounced on guys in the past!

That being said, about a year ago, I was feeling a bit shit about myself and made a bit of a pass at a colleague, who stopped me before I could even kiss him because of the fact he had a girlfriend. And okay, I was a bit embarrassed at the time and couldn't really face him for ages... but we were both drunk and I think deep down I was a little relieved that it had been HIM I'd tried to pounce on because he had been a total gent about it, and another guy could have taken advantage of me in the state I was in.

So my point is.... this guy could have did the same thing. And chose not to.

From my side of things though, I don't really count it as him cheating. But would you???

I think I personally would rather not know if I was seeing someone and they'd had a 30 second kiss with someone else. But  then who knows? If I was in the situation maybe I would feel differently.

Would YOU want to know if it was your other half?

4 comments:

  1. I read a really interesting blog/article/something a few months ago about how if one person in a relationship cheats, in a way that is a one-time only thing that will NOT impact the relationship long-term, they shouldn't tell the other person about it. Normally I would totally disagree and say I'd want to know about even the tiniest transgression, but the article made a really good point about how if one person fesses up to cheating, they almost get to feel better about it because they get it off their chests, while it does nothing but make the other person more miserable. It said how the worst punishment you can give yourself after cheating is to make yourself live with it and not tell anyone. Which was a perspective I never thought about before.

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  2. See.... I'd totally consider it as cheating. No matter how fleeting the moment, there was still sexual contact between him & someone who's not me.

    But dagnnamit, I would NOT want to know about it! It would make me feel a heck of a lot worse, and I just couldn't think about the place/person in the same way. If it meant nothing & was just a quick, fleeting thing, I don't think there's any point in me knowing, just so that he could have his heart a bit lighter.

    Unless, of course, it happens more than once. But that's a whole different ballgame.

    Also, heck no it's got nowt to do with you! You're single, you have no ties. He had every opportunity to pull away/push you away (whatever happened there), but he didn't. He's the one in a relationship, the onus is on him to keep his lips to himself.

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  3. If my husband did that, I would think it was cheating. If there were no feelings involved and it was as you say a 30 second thing, then it is probably something that could be worked through (as long as he didn't make a habit of it and it was a one off on his part). Not that I'd say that to him of course haha.
    You maybe didn't act so ethically in your drunky state, but it takes two to tango so he deserves the blame if he has to answer to his partner.

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  4. Yes. I'd consider it cheating and I'd want to know. A kiss is not the same thing as sex but I'd still want to know.

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