Saturday, 15 June 2013

TWAT AGAIN . . .

I went out last night. Was feeling really pretty shit about everything so I drank my feelings. And everyone else's. Rose wine is not a good substitute for therapy. I knew that from previous experience but I did it anyway.

And because I was feeling shit and unattractive, I ended up back at some guy's flat. We didn't have sex or anything. I don't do things like that even when I'm drunk. But I think when he realised this, he basically called me a taxi. Nice eh? Sort of polite and fuckery in one go.

But anyway, that would have been all well and good. Except I'd been rushed out of there so fast (I think I'd been on the verge of falling asleep so was a bit out of it as well as drunk) that I forgot some important things. Namely my purse and my phone.

Luckily the taxi driver was a kind sort and after me crying all the way home after realising I 1) had no money and 2) couldn't pay him he let me off with the fare. (Thank you taxi driver, there's a place in taxi driver heaven reserved by me for you.)

But I just feel so shit about it. I hate feeling like this. This FEAR feeling combined with having lost stuff.

I'm 33 years old and this stuff should NOT still be happening to me. It just shouldn't.

Drinking when you're out and feeling rubbish about yourself? It's just NOT a good plan. Stopping it.

2 comments:

Poppy Smith said...

getting drunk and ending up at some guys flat isnt anything to beat yourself up over, we all make mistakes (at any age!) the important thing is to learn from them. If you want to go out and do what you want then go for it, the only thing that matters is that you make yourself happy.
random guy sounds like a knob though, and it really sucks that you lost your stuff- hopefully you will be able to get them back?
take care and don't be too hard on yourself
Poppy | far away

Harvey Harvey said...

Hunny!

I have never met you but i follow your blog because you are gorgeous and funny/witty! A breath of fresh air.

(and I am someone that does not suffer fools gladly)