Sunday, 21 April 2013

LONELY . . .

I've been feeling really out of sorts since I got back my holiday and I've not quite been able to put my finger on it. I put it down to post holiday blues, or the fact I'm dreading going back to work.

But I feel like it's more than that. I've had a shitty few months, certainly March was absolutely fucking horrendous. The days leading up to my holiday weren't much better either. But I think coming back on Thursday evening to this flat was the straw that broke the camels back.

My sister had her husband to go back to. I had no one.

So that's what it is. I'm lonely.

I'm sure it will pass. It usually does. I go through phases, and I've never been good at dealing with the inevitable comedown after returning from a trip away anyway. At least I don't cry about that part anymore like I used to do when I was a kid. (God, I was pathetic.)

Hopefully the return to routine won't be as bad as I thought, I'll get back to my health kick (as long as I don't die during my crossfit class on Tuesday, that is!), the summer is nearly here (there's sunshine coming through my window as I type so that's optimistic at any rate) and my mood always lightens with the weather.

And before long I'll forget the loneliness and be self-sufficient and back to my old self.

(The fact that I've decided another extended break off alcohol would be a good idea is probably also going to help.)

I've got plans. My body to work on. (Man, does it require a LOT of work!) I need to sort out flat stuff, start getting rid of stuff (as it seems certain I'm moving, whether it's into the ex's flat if/when he moves, or elsewhere - in which case I'll be having to flat-hunt too - eek!), work out ways of making some extra money . . . I'll have other things on my mind.

So why, right now, do I feel like I'm missing out?

Excuse the self-pitying post, I need to indulge myself once in a while . . . and I almost instantly feel a bit better getting it out there.

Don't worry, sarcasm and ranting will return as per regular schedule shortly. Nothing can usually keep me down for long.

3 comments:

  1. I hope you feel less lonely soon. I am sure this feeling will pass, like you say :) Just keep moving and stimulating your mind - you'll be back on track before you know it x

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  2. Being lonely is ok, you know. It's all a natural part of everything. I get spells of it too. Keep yourself motivated, set some goals, make yourself do something different.

    Oh, and keep talking to people.

    x

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  3. Hello! Thank you for your comment, I don't know how I've not come across you before but I love your blog!

    It's nice (in a way, if you see what I mean) to read this because this is exactly how I always feel after a fab weekend away with friends - I never want it to end because I'm going home to my bedroom in Dad's house, whereas they're going home to their other halves which must be nice for them. Sigh, oh well, there's always the next trip to look forward to!

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