Friday, 26 April 2013

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE . . . AND YOUR FORMER SCHOOLFRIENDS CLOSER???

Most of us on Facebook have "friends" that we don't know that well. Whether it's online friends we've never actually met in real life, people we worked with eons ago, people we've drifted apart from . . . or even old school friends who we literally have not met in years. It's tempting, especially with the last set of friends, to think that we should remove them as friends.

Let's face it, when it comes to old school friends and classmates . . . as you get older, it's hard not to compare yourself to them. For example, I'm edging closer and closer to my mid thirties (gulp!) therefore the bulk of people I went to school with are happily married and/or have kids. Or have a career I could never possibly hope to have. Or live somewhere abroad and seem to have the easy life. It's easy to make yourself feel bad when you use others as a measuring stick, no matter what your own situation.

But . . . don't be so quick to click on that remove button. Here are some reasons why I like to keep my old classmates around . . .

1. You can rub YOUR life in THEIR faces too.
I may not be the biggest fan of my own life right now, I may be single, I may be stuck jobwise and about to be homeless (sort of) but one thing I DO have is a good social life. So, I may not have a family or a brilliant career, but I can rub my exciting single glamorous social life in THEIR face just like they can smear their personal success all over mine. That being said, my "glamorous social life" really refers to trips to Wetherspoons and the pub quiz but . . . it's the small victories, 'kay??? ;-)

2. You can occasionally get a date out of it.
I've did it. I had a semi-relationship with one guy I fancied in school thanks to Facebook, and a few others have asked me out. It's almost like now we're grown-ups, we can finally ADMIT we fancied each other and get all that sexual tension out of the way. (Of course, this is only an advantage if you are actually single.)

3. You can feel good about yourself.
Last week a girl from school actually private messaged me to tell me she wanted me to model for her, and said that I looked amazing in all of my pictures. Okay, I'm not really sure what she wanted me to model FOR, or whether she was just drunk and winding me up, but hey, it gave me an ego boost anyway! Especially since I never thought I was particularly attractive back in my schooldays and lacked a hell of a lot of confidence.

4. It can occasionally help old wounds heal.
I've spoken before about how I left school feeling a bit like I'd lost my circle of friends, they drifted apart from me and I always blamed them. Later on, years later, thanks to reconnecting on Facebook, I realised that it was a two way street and I hadn't made the effort to keep connected either because of my bitterness and insecurities. Okay, some of them WERE actually just rude and didn't give a shit (Facebook helped me learn THAT too) but some of them did actually care and continue even NOW to make the effort to keep in contact.

5. There's occasionally no reason . . . apart from the fact that it can just be NICE.
And I don't mean nice as in "you're being nice if you are facebook friends with your schoolfriends." I mean that there are some nice people out there that we share a link with . . . our past. We may not have known all of them that well, and may have known them at a weird time in our lives . . . but we have all these shared memories. And that's something I personally like holding on to.

The last one is probably the biggest reason I want to keep these friends in my life . . . even if it IS just my virtual life.

Are you friends with old schoolfriends on Facebook? What are your thoughts?

7 comments:

  1. Totally. And I always feel bad if I want to de-friend someone!

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  2. I don't go to facebook very much anymore, but when I do it's almost always to stalk someone I went to school with. Ah, Facebook, the best stalking tool available!

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  3. I have a lot of high school and primary school friends on Facebook. Some of them, I just perve at their lives (as they do mine) and others I have strengthened and renewed friendships with that I had thought were not going to continue.
    I am actually MUCH closer to a handful of my high school friends now thanks to Facebook and it's opened up so many great social opportunities and the like.
    There was ONE incident with a girl who had WAY too much high school baggage, who took it out on me for no good reason, but she passive-aggressively unfriended me before I could notice something was wrong! Her loss!

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  4. These are all good reasons to keep old school friends as facebook friends. I think we're on the same page in life (single, not so good career), so I can definitely use #1!

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  5. It's always nice to see what people are up to, and de-friending is a bit awkward.

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  6. While these are excellent reasons, a lot of my former classmates are idiots and post obnoxious statuses.

    I also have a very liberal delete policy. Post something retarded? Goodbye.

    However I do have a handful of people that I am sincerely interested in where they end up in life so I will keep them around, even if they are annoying.

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  7. I think Facebook has its place as a social network but it can become too consuming and create problems when people use it for the wrong reasons.... boasting about how wonderful their life is, waging arguments with old flames and so on. On the positive side, I have rekindled some friendships with school mates I had lost touch with.
    As for de-friending, only ever done that once and the person seriously deserved it after constantly using me as an emotional crutch for years then disappearing the one time I needed her support.
    Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog recently...

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