Tuesday, 5 March 2013

THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO IN A HURRY* . . .

  • LAST MINUTE MAKE-UP TOUCH-UPS

You're just about to leave the house, your make-up is perfect but you suddenly think . . . "you know, I could use one more coat of mascara". Don't do it. I repeat. Don't. Do. It. You can almost guarantee you'll poke yourself in the eye with the wand, or your lashes will end up clumpy, or you'll end up with a big glob of mascara on your cheek which will take your foundation off with it when you try to wipe it off so you practically have to start from scratch all over again or go out with only half your "face" on. Or you might get it in your hair. Or on your clothes. It's just not wise. Trust me.

  • FAKE TAN
One should NEVER fake tan in a hurry. Even if one thinks that one is an expert in the field of fake tanning. It's going to end in tears . . . and streaks. Almost 100 per cent guaranteed.


  • GIVING YOURSELF A HAIRCUT
To be honest, you probably shouldn't do this at all. I've been trying to curb my habit of cutting my hair with stationery scissors of late. Last time I think my hair ended up about two inches longer on the left than it was on the right.


  • PREPARING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW
I could actually prepare for a job interview forEVER and still not be ready (my recent - this week - failed attempt to get the same job I was doing last year proves that), but you should never do this half-assed in a hurry. You WILL be unprepared and you WILL end up looking like an arse.

  • TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT
It's destined to fail and, even you DO lose weight in a hurry, it will pile back on the second you stop faster than you can say "yoyo dieting is bad for you". So just don't. (My crash diet starts tomorrow, by the way...)

  • NAIL POLISH
Nail polish needs time to dry. And - here's the kicker - sometimes even when you think it's ALREADY dry . . . turns out it's not. It's a sly little motherfucker and no mistake.


  • CORRECTING A TEXT MESSAGE MISTAKE
If you send a text message and make a mistake in it, the obvious thing is to text as quickly as possible to correct the error. More often than not though, this results in you texting the exact same mistake again. And occasionally again. And often again. If you trawl through the Damnyouautocorrect archives, you will realise this pretty quickly.


*Most of these things could also be applied to the same "things you shouldn't do while drunk" theory by the way.


What shouldn't YOU do in a hurry?


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