Saturday, 16 March 2013

NO FILTER . . .

I've spoken on many occasion about how I have no internal filter and things come out of my mouth that just shouldn't sometimes. This always causes me problems and a wee bit of embarrassment at times . . . but in terms of blogging, it can be comedy gold.

Well. maybe I'm talking myself up a bit too much here. Maybe not comedy gold. Maybe silver. Or bronze. Maybe just a certificate for being there. I don't want to build up false expectations here.

So on Pancake Tuesday last month, me and one of my colleagues were talking about pancakes and our preferences (yes, we have the most intriguing of conversations). I mentioned how I'm not really a fan of the large, thin crepes - I prefer what the Be-ro book (the only recipe book I ever recall us having growing up) refers to as "dropped scones", which are small, thick pancakes with sugar in them. My colleague said he preferred his to be thick too but also large. My response to that was "I've never had a big, thick one."

(Then I realised what I said, realised it sounded a bit like I was referring to a penis, started giggling and went bright red.)

It gets worse. Not long before that me and the SAME colleague were discussing how people found it hard to buy presents for him, because if he wanted a certain thing, he would just go out and buy it himself. I told him "You're the king of self-gratification."

He looked a bit confused but I didn't think much of it. About twenty minutes later, I realised I'd meant to say he was the "king of INSTANT gratification". Self gratification? Something else entirely, and COMPLETELY inappropriate.

But then . . . it's not always me who makes these errors in judgement.  One day we were having our usual banter and he told me (not for the first time) that I'm quite a violent person. Basically, if we were having any sort of argument and he was winning, I would finish the conversation by telling him I was going to punch him. (I don't like losing arguments.) In response to my reaction to his comment about me being violent, he then responded:

"I'm starting to think I should just lie down and let you finish me off."

Yeah. I didn't mention until a couple of days later how bad that one sounded, because he didn't seem to realise himself. Once I DID point it out, he was a tad embarrassed. Because obviously that was NOT what he meant.

Had any embarrassing gaffes with YOUR internal filter (or lack thereof) recently?

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