Thursday, 26 July 2012

QWITTER???? (ALTERNATIVE TITLE: HOW TO ANNOY ME ON TWITTER)

I'm starting to think I've got a little bit of an addiction. No, I'm not talking about cava. I'm talking about twitter, that Great Social Network in the Sky. (Actually, that sounded really dramatic in my head, but really it makes it sound like twitter is dead. Which it kinda was for a wee while earlier today, but it's been resurrected Jesus-like so.... Oooh, wait then my description DOES sort of work. Shut up, Paula. Get on with it.)

I've been around the twittersphere (is that the official term for it? I don't think it is but I can't think what it ACTUALLY is) for about four years now. Just over four, in fact. And I have tweeted approximately 16000 times. Which actually isn't that much over the space of four years (4000 a year? Not too bad) but I'd say probably a big chunk of those tweets have occurred just in the last couple of months. I'm not quite sure why that is, but it does seem to have developed into a full scale addiction. ESPECIALLY, I notice, when I'm a little inebriated with the cava . . . then I turn into one of those "retweet-everything-you-see, make-cryptic-and-passive-aggressive-tweets and also overshare-a-lot" types. Not ALL of the time but well . . . MOST of the time? (Just kidding. I'm really not that bad. You should follow me. Don't let the fact you'll have to REQUEST to follow me put you off. It means I'm exclusive. Like a private members club or something. You never know what's on the other side of that little padlock. Maybe.)

I've spoken about my love of twitter before. And also hinted at my frustrations with it at times.  But let's just put it out there now . . . what are my major annoyances?  These are not necessarily things that ALWAYS annoy me. Most of the time I just let it all roll over me - it takes all kinds to make a world, and god knows, I am in no way the perfect Tweeter. I think we've already established this, right? Just when I'm feeling particularly irritated, these things get to me.



Requests for followers:

If i want to follow you, I'll follow you. I don't want you to ask me to follow you, or your friend. I don't care if you want to get to 100 followers or not.  (Believe it or not, this is not the Twitter Guides. You will not get a "I have 100 followers" badge for passing that lofty goal. Not a REAL one anyway.You'll probably just get to 100 followers and then start asking to get to 200 followers. I'm not talking #followfriday here, just the begging requests.

Or the "If you follow this person and RE-TWEET that you followed this person then TWEET THEM AND TELL THEM AND THEN GET THEM TO TWEET ME TO TELL YOU THAT YOU FOLLOWED THIS PERSON THEN I WILL FOLLOW YOU BACK" folk. Okay, I'm going a bit far there, but I've bet you've seen folks like this. They also say "I always follow back", yet follow 30 people when they have 3000 followers. Just. Fuck. Right. Off.



People who DM asking for your phone number . . . repeatedly:

If I ignore you the first time . . . get the hint. If I tell you no after a couple of attempts where I've ignored you every time, seriously, get the hint. AND STOP FUCKING ASKING!



People who reply to you but actually have nothing to say everytime they do so:

I have one person (and if you're reading this, I've already told you it's annoying and you're still doing it) who replies to any of my tweets with things like "Oh", "Um..." and "Oh dear...". Is there a point to this? Am I supposed to know in which context to take this?



People who seem to reply to EVERY TWEET YOU POST:

That sounds so ungrateful, doesn't it? It sometimes just gets stressful feeling like then YOU have to reply or you'll look ignorant and then the Catholic guilt strikes and I end up feeling bad about looking ignorant and ending up in a conversation which goes on all day even though I actually have fifty million other things to do and fifty million of these conversations going on at once. And that's just on twitter. I also need to factor in text messages, facebook chat/messages/posts, emails and actual REAL LIFE CONVERSATIONS. It can get pretty stressful sometimes . . .



When Twitter goes and BREAKS on us:

It literally is LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD. Take earlier . . . it was like the world had frozen in time. There was one lone guy on my timeline, who appeared to be the only person who Twitter was working for (which made me wonder if he was some sort of evil genius who had actually possibly orchestrated the whole thing) and was talking to himself and apparently going mad. That was actually quite funny but in the meantime, I wondered what I was missing with all these strangers I had never met and (mostly) never intend to. I suppose it's a little bit like when a programme you are getting really into stops on a cliffhanger and then goes on hiatus indefinitely. You keep checking and checking to see when it's coming back on . . .  BUT IT COULD BE GONE FOREVER!!!!



People slagging off what other people are tweeting about:

This is the most ironic one of all, coming from me and taking into context this whole post. But hey, I am nothing if not a self confessed hypocrite. Just call me Grace Dent (I'll put my review of her book "How To Leave Twitter" up here at some stage - if you've not read it, you should. If only to realise that a) you suck at twitter and b) so does she, kind of.)  (She actually doesn't suck at it, by the way. I'm just jealous. I never got to be Queen of the Universe, and she apparently did.)

There are things I don't necessarily like reading about on twitter from people whose tweets I generally genuinely enjoy. Like pretty much every reality tv show going, with the exception of Made in Chelsea, which is my guilty pleasure. But basically anything like X-Factor, The Voice, TOWIE . . . they leave me cold. Or most sports (until I start live-tweeting the Olympics, that is. See? Hypocrite!)

But I don't like it when people slag off other's choice of subject to tweet about while on twitter. I think "Live and let live" - if i'm following someone who will put up with me chastising Spencer for stealing Louise off Jamie or slagging off Cheska for looking like a male Olly, then I'll take their weakness also!



So . . . that's all for now. I'm sure there's more, but my brain has stopped working as I haven't looked at Twitter for all of ten minutes and now I'm worried that something has happened in my absence. It's forced me into panic mode!

There may be a part two at some point. I make no promises . . . although I think I'll start noting down any more annoyances as they occur for future reference!



In the meantime though . . . what annoys YOU about Twitter???

Saturday, 21 July 2012

MAKING IT TO THE TOP OF THE POLE . . .

So, as you may or may not know about me, I go to pole fitness once a week. That's been nearly a year now. Which is pretty amazing.

I was rubbish at first - I documented my first attempt at it on ths here blog. I didn't really feel like I was improving at all for ages!And then it eventually started to come together. And I did get better. But since about Christmas, I've just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I've been stuck on pretty much the same moves since then, and just not felt like i'm progressing.... even though there is still the odd move I can do that is more advanced than the ones I am on. Which is weird. I also still can't do the very first move I was taught, which is super weird.

Anyway, there are two methods of climbing a pole. One is you sit on the pole and hoist yourself up basically by your arms. Or you can do the step and climb technique, which is more about using your feet and legs.

I can do neither.

But I realised that if I pushed myself off using the step and climb technique and then "improvised" (ie cheated) I could make it a good start up the pole. That was a few weeks ago.

On Wednesday night, I finally used this improvised technique to get to the top of the pole.

LOOK!!!!!

 



Once I got up there I kind of got stuck there - it was surprisingly hard to slide back down! But I made it eventually!

At some point in the future, you may find me up at the top of the pole upside down. Yeah, I don't see that happening anytime soon though!

But I thought I would share this minor achievement all the same!

Go me....

Monday, 16 July 2012

THINGS I LIKE TO "RESEARCH" WHILE DRUNK . . .

I spend a fairly large chunk of my life having a wee drink or two, and when I am at home alone when I do this, I tend to spend a lot of time online. And it's rather strange things I look up. The other week I was researching porn. It's not as bad as it sounds. There was a reason to this, and a story. I'll tell it soon, I promise. That's fairly extreme. But there are other strange things I like to look up when I'm drunk  . . .

  • celebrity deaths. Particularly tragic ones.

  • natural disasters. I like to know all the details. I know, it's weird. I'm sorry.

  • The Bermuda Triangle. I am mildly obsessed with this. I think it also puts me off travelling anywhere that is remotely near it.

  • books. I can spend ages researching what books I want to read next. I did a similar thing with television programmes recently too. I never really think to do this while sober.

  • geography stuff. Ferry Guy was a bit of a history geek - I'm the same with geography. That's partly why the aforementioned obsession with reading about natural disasters  - things like volanoes, earthquakes and asteroids fascinate and terrify me in equal measures. I look up geography through stumbleupon - it's funny; because of my preferences I can be looking at a funny website one minute and the next thing I'm researching bizarre lakes (yeah, that just happened tonight).

Basically most of the time when I'm drunk I have wikipedia open on a tab on my browser so I have easy access to all the knowledge. I'm sure I mentioned this once before but with my ex from last year this seemed to really tickle him... so much so, that when his friend asked me to tell him about me, this was the first anecdote he could come up with. He had came to my flat and commented on the fact I had a greek mythology book lying there - he thought I was trying to impress him because he had been telling me about some highbrow book he had been reading a while before or something like that. I explained that a few weeks before I had got drunk, decided I wanted to know EVERYTHING and had ordered books on the bermuda triangle, greek mythology and some other stuff. I didn't even remember DOING it until they turned up.

It's a bit counter-productive really, this wanting to know EVERYTHING while drunk, isn't it? Because I might want to KNOW about it, but i'm too tipsy to really pay ATTENTION to what I'm trying to learn about.

Anyway . . . I'm going back to reading about bizarre lakes now. Toodles!


What do YOU like to know about when you're drunk?

Saturday, 14 July 2012

PART 3 . . .

So it had been established we were flirting thanks to my blatant disregard for playing by The Rules. By this point we were on dry land and on the bus and he asked if we were going to be hanging around Belfast once we got there as he had to wait around for his friend he was staying with to finish work. If so, maybe we could all go for a drink. Our friend was already on the way to pick us up though, so it really wasn't going to happen.

All the same, I then did something even MORE unlike me. I said, since we weren't able to go for a drink with him now, why didn't he give us his number and if we were going to be in Belfast city centre over the next couple of days, maybe we could all go for a drink then! Now, this is NEVER something I do, but based on the fact I was fairly sure he was into me, and the fact that I was able to suggest this fairly casually, it didn't cause me the usual anxiety. Wow. He suggested we give him one of our numbers and he'd call it right now - my phone was already in my hand!

(By the way, at this point, Mich had already established he was on twitter and had given him both of our usernames so he could follow us - but I think i had decided I was taking no chances here!)

So we got off the bus and he went to shake our hands goodbye - which I poo-poo'd, said I thought we were were past such formalities and gave him a hug. And then he left and our friend turned up and off we drove to Comber.

I kinda liked this dude, yeah, but I didn't really think much of it. Despite having each others numbers and a tentative idea that we might all go to the pub at some point, I wasn't going to overthink anything. Yet. I'd only met the guy less than an hour ago - what would be the point at this stage???

Anyway, after we had arrived there, we dumped our stuff and headed out to buy alcohol from the off-licence, pose in the village square, and then we popped into the pub for a swift one. This was the point where I decided to check what was going on in the world of twitter. And I had a new tweet. From him! It said "You're forbidden apparently. xx" Oh yeah, I'd forgotten my twitter was private. He had requested to follow me, so I added him and then replied "You're keen, apparently. xx" He quickly responded with the excuse that he had been drinking alone, and then added "Kinda keen." When I replied "Oh really?" to this, i got a text shortly after confirming that he was indeed keen. After a brief text conversation where I had confirmed I also was keen, he asked if we could meet up over the next few days. After checking with my girls, I replied that we would be in the city centre the following evening if he wanted to join us for some drinks. He said that sounded like a plan.

I had known the guy just a few hours and I was already going to see him the next day. I was excited and . . . well, really shitting myself! Would I meet him again and not like him as much? Would he even turn up????

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

SOME THINGS ARE JUST MEANT TO BE FINITE . . . BUT THEY'RE STILL MEANT TO BE!!!

Rejection is rejection really, no matter what.

(I know I still haven't continued the Belfast guy story yet. I will. Honestly. I'm just not ready yet. Let's just skip to the end.)

With the most recent guy, like I said previously, I KNEW it couldn't last, that it was impractical, the age difference, the different locations, the fact he worked away. It was finite no matter what. I wish it could have lasted a bit longer, but you can't always get what you want. I know that much with life.

And there's been a lot that's went on since then. In the five or so weeks since whatever it was we had ended, he's still in touch. Albeit only via twitter but sometimes I think maybe we can even be friends. Provided that what I'm taking as banter actually IS banter and not him just being horrible to me. I am going to go for the former though.

But you know what? Regardless of how things turned out or whatever . . . the timing honestly could not have been better. I came home to an ex I had struggled to get over who was no longer in a relationship. And thanks to this new guy . . . thanks to the fact that at this point he was still in my life . . . I was in a stronger position. I didn't start to think maybe me and the ex could get back together. If I had been feeling weak maybe i would have . . . and would ultimately have been hurt. Instead I felt like I had completely moved on.

They do say everything happens for a reason. I don't believe that about a lot of things. But if me and Mich could both have afforded to go abroad . . . if my friend Amy had wanted us to come any other day . . . if we hadn't got that particular ferry that particular day . . . and if he hadn't sneezed when he had and i wasn't programmed to say "bless you" when someone DOES sneeze?

Then I probably would still be fixated on my ex and how miserable I felt over the almost one year wake of our official break-up.

And so, despite any hurt or rejection or anything else I might be feeling . . . I have that to thank the ferry guy for. I got to have a crush, a bit of a holiday fling, some late night texting . . .to put myself in a position I'd never been in before . . . and it got me over my ex once and for all.

And so we go back to the whole the best way to get over a guy is to get under another theory. I still don't believe in that theory whole-heartedly. It's about meeting the RIGHT one to get you over the other. It might not be a long term thing, but in my case it maybe has to be a very certain kind of person, a very certain kind of situation.

The kind of situation where, when it ends, will leave you just upset enough about the fact he was really quite pretty, not to mention young and enthusiastic, rather than the fact that you maybe potentially saw the previous one long term, to once and truly move on from the bond that held you to the previous dude, albeit slightly unwillingly.

So yeah, rejection sucks, and I'm still a wee bit gutted that the ferry guy thing didn't progress . . . but in the end all I can be thankful for is that it made me realise there ARE other guys out there and, just like every other guy I've met in life and every other relationship I've ever started . . . they ALWAYS happen when you least expect it.

Here's to the next unexpected adventure, peeps!

Friday, 6 July 2012

YET ANOTHER WARDROBE MALFUNCTION...


About a fortnight ago I couldn't sleep, went onto asos for something to do (as one does!), and bought some new dresses. One of them, the first time I wore it, garnered many compliments. So yeah, I had to wear it again. Yesterday.

RIP new dress. :-(

At around 5.45 last night, as I tried to navigate my way over a massive bag of shredded paper that someone had very thoughtfully (sarcastic overtones here) left blocking a door . . . I felt the dress rip at the bottom, where the little slit was at the back.  When I touched the back of my dress, I realised it had quite significantly ripped. As in . . . WAS PRACTICALLY SHOWING MY ARSE!!!

Now, don't get me wrong - I like my arse! Some women, I know, have hangups about their bums; I'm not one of them. (Don't hate me - I hate loads of OTHER things about myself so I figure I can be honest about liking my own bottom.) That being said, I still don't want it to be hanging out there involuntarily! I was actually meant to be going straight out from work, but instead I had to go home, trying to cover the rip with my bag, and wondering if I was just being paranoid.

Then I got home and took a picture of the rip....


See what I mean??? Indecent!!!

I love this dress so I'm gutted! Luckily I have a mum, sister and friend who can sew so I'm hoping SOMEONE can remedy this for me. In the meantime, I'll have to perhaps refrain from wearing the dress. Damn it...


Have you had any wardrobe malfunctions recently???

Sunday, 1 July 2012

THE *NAIL* ON SUNDAY . . . ISSUE 5!!!

Happy July everyone!!! (Can you believe it's bloody July already??? This year is flying in!)

Wow, I don't do any Nail on Sunday posts for WEEKS then you get two in a row! Aren't you lucky??? ;-)

I'm a big fan of the french manicure, although to be honest it just isn't COLOURFUL enough for me. I like to make a bit of a statement with my nails, after all. So I like to take the french manicure effect and colours and shake it all up a bit. Coloured tips on colour. A lot of the nail looks I try (for example my looks from the first three weeks of The *Nail* On Sunday) are based around a french manicure technique.

So . . . there is the pale grey with white tips look (and a bit of glitter added) which looked pretty great. (Mental note to self - must buy new pale grey nail polish as it is an AWESOME nail colour. The one in the pic was from Rimmel, by the way.)


Or purple nails with glittery tips. I achieved this look by putting a layer of clear nail polish on the tip of my nail over the purple and then dipping each nail into a tub of silver nail glitter. It made quite a pretty look, I thought. Although I DID admittedly end up covered in glitter!


My most recent look, however, might be my favourite. It involves mint green, purple and silver. And it is MEGA easy to achieve.


It uses Barry M Nail Paint in Mint Green (304), Accessorize Nail Polish in Electric Purple (Shade 26), and Barry M Instant Effects Nail Paint Foil Effects for the silver tips. It's so easy to do - just paint alternate nails purple and mint and then, once it's dry, paint the tips with the silver nail paint! As long as you have a relatively steady hand, then you should get a pretty nice effect. I think both of these colours work great with the silver contrast!



Do you like??? What do you think would make nice colour combinations for this sort of look?