It's been waaayyy too long since I've did a sarcastic "how to/how not to" guide. So let's resurrect that old thing . . .
Sit on me.
Oooh yes. I love that. Personal space? I have no idea what that concept is, so you go right ahead and invade it . . . Never mind that it's a near empty train, you just choose to park your arse virtually on top of mine for no apparent reason. Like I said, I love it. Seriously.
Play your music too loudly.
Just because you're wearing headphones doesn't mean the sound is completely blocked out from everyone else, especially if you're playing your music at a volume which suggests you have been completely deafened (probably by the volume of your own music . . .) Handy hint: if we are wearing earphones too and can STILL hear your music, then it's probably a TAD too loud. Just sayin'.
Excessive PDAs with your other half.
Really? You want to get off on the subway? Then please . . . actually get off. At the next stop. And don't come back. We all hate you. (Speaks the bitter singleton.)
Leave your litter on the train.
I personally really enjoy sitting on a train surrounded by empty Buckfast bottles and half eaten McDonalds food. Honestly.
Have loud conversations with your friends that no one else wants to hear.
I'm not impartial to a bit of eavesdropping but if you're going to talk loudly about your life, could you at LEAST make it a little bit interesting?
What/who annoys you on the subway? Or public transport in general...?