Sunday, 25 March 2012

AHHHHHHH!!!

I don't understand why I'm taking so long to get over this one.

In the past, don't get me wrong, it takes me a while to move on. But this one . . . it just seems to be impossible.

I hate when relationships end, and this one .  .  . it's got to me like no other one. Perhaps because we DID remain friends until very recently, perhaps because he then moved on to someone else so abruptly and may as well have cut me out of his life as a result.

I just feel so useless. One day I can think I'm fine about it, can think I've moved on and am over it . . . then the next some silly little thing happens and I want to share it with him and i can't and I just want to cry.

Sometimes I do actually think that the only thing I can do is actually move away. Because at those times it seems impossible to actually stick around here when I'm constantly terrified of running into them together. I was at a comedy gig the other night and was terrified I'd see him and he'd be with her. As it turns out, i didn't see him, but he WAS there and I have no idea who with, and to be honest, I think I would rather not know. All I DO know is that I was convinced he was behind me because I swear I could hear is laugh. And I was too scared to look in case that WAS him and I'd see who was there with him.

I knew when he moved on to someone else it would be like breaking up all over again, only worse . . . but I'm finding it so tough to deal with the loss of my friend. I don't want my happiness to depend on the way someone else is treating me. But at the moment, on this lonely Sunday afternoon, it sadly does.

10 comments:

  1. The amount of time seems to correlate with the degree to which we think we are in love. But as one of my friends put it when he went through a divorce - "It quit hurting when I finally realized it was better to be single than to spend time with someone who didn't love me."

    Of course, given that my last breakup was nigh on 40 years ago, you could just ignore my dithering. {*grin*}

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  2. I know that feeling well. Like it will never end. But it will. I promise. x

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  3. I've been there and breakups are never easy.

    The last bf, I wanted to marry him. Only he wasn't interested in marrying me. He did, however, want to marry the gf before and after me.

    It'll get better, I promise!

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  4. I can very much relate.

    However in my case, I miss my old boyfried terribly despite having a newer, much much nicer model.

    So why do I still think of the other one, who was an all out jerk?

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  5. Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I think everyone can relate. Spend a lot of time with your friends, talk it out, write it out, whatever it takes xo

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  6. Watch lots of Disney movies and eat lots of ice cream, that's what's working for me. I hear it gets better though! I like to think of it as universal balance...you're sad now and so to bring you back in to balance the universe has to throw something really good at you.

    I awarded you some blog awards! Mosey on down here: http://asweeterkindofvinegar.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/one-where-im-all-cute-and-lovely.html if you want to check them out. Xx

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  7. Can relate.

    It's a shame that he's withheld any hope of friendship from you, seems (and probably feels) like you're being punished for something you haven't done.

    Perhaps it's better to have no attachment, boyfriend or otherwise, to him. It'll make you look at things from a different perspective. Would you want to be involved with a guy who treats people like he's treating you right now? No.

    His new girlfriend will soon see the cracks too. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but I hope you take comfort in the fact that you're not being messed about anymore. You're 100% better than him, you offered friendship and he wasn't strong enough to accept that. Good for you, hold your head up high.

    x

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  8. I've been there. And it suck, plain and simple. {HUGS LADYFRIEND}xo

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  9. *hugs*

    it WILL get better! I've had breakups and make-ups, and sometimes it still hurts. Even as I'm sitting here with The One, thinking about a particular ex of mine still brings a wee tear to my eye. Some people just take a part of us as they leave...

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