Friday, 2 December 2011

WITTY PUTDOWNS . . .

I pride myself on being fairly quick-witted, but it is unnecessary insults from random strangers that tend to result in me becoming pretty tongue-tied and slow. Possibly it's something to do with holding back from actually TRYING to come back with something equally insulting because they might, y'know, PUNCH me or something.

The one that annoys me the most is when you get someone (usually a wee girl ned who thinks she is hard) making some sarky comment about your (actually very nice) clothes - usually along the lines of "NICE boots" or "NICE coat" to her friends within hearing range of you. The "nice" part of the phrase is clearly sarcastic, and is destined to make you feel bad about yourself . . . ESPECIALLY if you were already feeling slightly insecure about your sartorial choices that day.

So I've figured out this brilliant comeback, and I'm dying to use it, but it's been a while since this has happened to me. (Well, I THINK It happened to me and my sister last weekend, but neither of us were sure enough that we hadn't misheard - and we didn't actually know what "NICE" part of us was being slagged off - to actually retaliate.) But here it is . . . maybe someone else could try it out?

Next time some little DICK-FOR-BRAINS makes a sarcastic "NICE something" comment, reply with this:

"NICE face!"

Then have a quick look at the face, frown and feign embarrassment.

"Oh sorry!! Um - my mistake."

And then run away before they hit you.

Let me know if it works, okay??? ;-)

What would YOUR comeback be to one of these sarky little c-words???

6 comments:

  1. Oooh, brilliant!
    But then, don't run away! If someone says something to me (happens very rarely and at a bar, as liquid courage makes me ballsy), I size up the competition. If I feel like I can take them down, I'll typically say something back.

    (p.s. i've never been in a fight, I swear!)

    -L

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha love this one! I haven't had people comment on my clothes (or maybe I'm just not aware of that) but I have people insulting me for no reason since I'm in London.
    I (unfortunately) haven't yet found the way to shut up and just not answer to the insults. I know I may get in trouble some time... as I even speak up to drunk men who seem quite violent! :s

    ReplyDelete
  3. This doesn't happen here. At least not that I've ever heard. Here in Minnesota there is this thing people call "Minnesota Nice". No shitting you. People up here are WAY TOO NICE. Like they would never insult you to your face. If anything bad is said it's all done behind your back. (Which is worse I think, if you're going to be a bitch at least own up to it.) Anyway, I'm not originally from Minnesota so I'm just a bitch. :) Haa.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ever told someone that they are a waste of food? Yeah, that one is a pretty good put-down. See if you can fit it in before the end of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I enhoyed this one. Keep em coming!

    ReplyDelete

You wanna leave me a comment? Come on, you know you want to really . . . ;)