I pride myself on being fairly quick-witted, but it is unnecessary insults from random strangers that tend to result in me becoming pretty tongue-tied and slow. Possibly it's something to do with holding back from actually TRYING to come back with something equally insulting because they might, y'know, PUNCH me or something.
The one that annoys me the most is when you get someone (usually a wee girl ned who thinks she is hard) making some sarky comment about your (actually very nice) clothes - usually along the lines of "NICE boots" or "NICE coat" to her friends within hearing range of you. The "nice" part of the phrase is clearly sarcastic, and is destined to make you feel bad about yourself . . . ESPECIALLY if you were already feeling slightly insecure about your sartorial choices that day.
So I've figured out this brilliant comeback, and I'm dying to use it, but it's been a while since this has happened to me. (Well, I THINK It happened to me and my sister last weekend, but neither of us were sure enough that we hadn't misheard - and we didn't actually know what "NICE" part of us was being slagged off - to actually retaliate.) But here it is . . . maybe someone else could try it out?
Next time some little DICK-FOR-BRAINS makes a sarcastic "NICE something" comment, reply with this:
Then have a quick look at the face, frown and feign embarrassment.
"Oh sorry!! Um - my mistake."
And then run away before they hit you.
Let me know if it works, okay??? ;-)
What would YOUR comeback be to one of these sarky little c-words???