Sunday, 25 September 2011

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL . . .

I don't think I could ever have a one-night-stand.

It's just not in my make-up. Maybe it's something to do with losing my virginity so late on (24, as I'm sure I've mentioned before.) Or my Catholic upbringing. I dunno. It's not like I'm a prude or anything. And it's not like I don't want guys to see me naked. I actually sometimes feel more confident with my clothes OFF than my clothes on. Nothing to spoil the lines, y'know?

I need to be familiar with someone (and, yes, I know you can have a one night stand with someone who you are familiar with, it doesn't have to be a stranger, but let me finish!) and already have shared a large element of intimacy with them already. Emotional intimacy, y'know? I need sex to mean something. I need to be pretty clear it's going to happen again, that it's worth it.

I don't judge people who DO have one night stands, by the way. In some ways, I'm a bit envious. It might make my life easier if I did. It might make it easier to get over relationships for me, give me something else to focus on.

Kissing three random blokes over the period of a month isn't exactly the same thing. But it's all I can handle right now. It's been four months now since I was last PROPERLY intimate with a guy, and I imagine it will be probably quite a bit longer than that before it happens again. But I'm okay with that. For now.

After a break-up, it's not the sex I miss. It's the relationship.

That still holds true now, sadly. But I'll be alright.

Eventually . . .

5 comments:

  1. I love you P - you're always so honest.
    Believe it or not, i actually was one of " those " girls for a very brief period. Aside from my fiance, i've slept with 8 guys, and all of them in a 2 year period. Which doesnt sound super slutty i suppose, but i wasnt actually in a relationship with any of them. My point is, when i found confidence in myself after years of depression, i also found a strange sexual confidence i never knew i had.
    Maybe once you know yourself better, you'll find the same thing?

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  2. P, i feel much the same. I have had one in my who life, and that boy was one of my very best friends (fortunately, still is).

    It's good that you know yourself and stick to it. It's not prudish at all. It's about how you respect yourself and view relationships.

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  3. I'm not really a one night stand kind of girl either. I do a lot of one night kissing hahah but I just really have no desire to go home with a dude I just met. Just not for me, I suppose. And nothing wrong with it! =)

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  4. At least with one night stands, you don't get hurt. Needs fulfilled, and no tears afterwards. You're the one in control and more importantly - won't have wasted any more time on someone who may have turned out to be a complete cunt a few months down the line.

    Admittedly, out of the people I've slept with, I was already friends with most of them (or had met and spoken to at least once before). I think only 2 guys and 1 girl were the ones I'd literally just met. *thinks* yeah, that's about right.

    Kissing's fun too, though. Hehehehe :P

    On a serious note, yes I miss the relationship side of things. But I'm too busy distracting myself and trying to pretend otherwise.

    Cowabunga.

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