I'm having a bad week emotionally and mentally - I'm a nervous wreck and utterly miserable most of the time. Various things are getting to me - work stress, the whole being-dumped-and-will-I-ever-be-able-to-keep-a-guy-interested-for-longer-than-five-minutes? thing are obvious ones, but there's a couple of other things going on that I don't think I should talk about on here that are upsetting me too. Most of the time I'm able to put a brave face on it but today was not one of those days.
But let's leave that there. At least for now. Because I'll just depress myself further if I dwell on this stuff. Let's talk about pole dancing class number two, which was last night!!!
To be honest, it wasn't much better than week one in terms of me being able to do any of the moves. Eek. One of the reasons was probably because *whispers guiltily* I hadn't practiced the floorwork at all. I was too sore after last week's class, then just too busy. And, in addition, the instructor hadn't actually emailed us the floorwork routine until yesterday morning. (Let's pretend I didn't actually remember the simple combination of situps, pressups and squats, okay???) So my core and arm strength was not going to have improved any, since the only other exercise I had had was trying to walk in high heels on Saturday night and not fall over, and lifting large glasses of champagne to my lips. (That one would OBVIOUSLY only work out ONE of my arms . . .)
To add insult to injury, I wasn't in the overflow room this time, but in the room with the girls who'd been doing it for several years. I felt like the troublemaker in the remedial class who'd been made to sit in the clever class as punishment (that never happened to me at school, by the way, but that's how it felt.) As I struggled to simply jump up and wrap my legs around the pole, these girls were on another level. After each unsuccessful go at one of the four moves I am so far failing dismally to master (despite the encouraging comments the instructor gives me), I would turn around to see one of them so far up the pole she was practically at the ceiling, just casually "hanging out" there like it was no big deal. Or, as I wiped my pole with the towel to get rid of the sweat my hands had left, I would see one of the other girls halfway up the pole and hanging upside down by just her legs. Like one does . . .
To be honest, I felt there was a TINY bit of improvement. Like now I know HOW to do the moves, I just need to be able to DO them. There was one point where I managed to wrap my legs around the pole on the jump and the instructor grabbed them and held them up and said "now slide down the pole!" but I was stuck!!! She also keeps saying to me about the moves where you whirl around the pole "you're there, all you need to do is lift your other foot!" Yes, but that's the bit I JUST CAN'T DO!!!
I know, I know, there's no such thing as "can't" and all that crap, but right now it feels like I'll never get there. The other girls say they were like that too at first, and have been doing it for a couple of years, but what if it takes me a couple of years to even master the basic stuff??? I'll feel like such a loser!
Anyway, this is the kind of stuff I would LOVE to be able to do one day:
In reality, right now, I can't even do the first move in this video:
I tell you something, these people make it look far FAR easier than it actually is!!!
Wish me luck! (God knows I need it . . .)