- SPLASH ME - seriously. I love it. ESPECIALLY when you manage to splash me while doing BREAST-STROKE (the actual stroke. Not stroking my breast. If only....) Seriously. How is that even possible? You're not even putting your head under the water. WTF???
- UNDER/OVER-ESTIMATE YOUR OWN SPEED - If you're in the medium lane and complaining because people are too slow (we heard you!) maybe you need to go in the fast lane??? WORRIED you might get shown up??? Twat.
- COME SWIMMING WITH A FRIEND WHO GOES IN A FASTER LANE THAN YOU BUT INSIST ON TALKING TO EACH OTHER - It doesn't work that way. Swimming isn't REALLY a social sport. If you wanna talk, go hang in the jacuzzi/steam room/sauna/pub. Don't make the rest of us feel like we're interrupting your conversation by SWIMMING IN A STRAIGHT LINE!!!!
- HAVE NO APPARENT NOTION OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLOCKWISE AND ANTI-CLOCKWISE AND TAKE UP THE WHOLE LANE WHILE SWIMMING - where are the rest of us meant to swim if you have us pinned against the wall everytime you swim past, eh?
- BE A SMALL CHILD WHO THINKS IT'S OKAY TO GET INTO THE SLOW LANE WITH A FRIEND AND YET CAN'T SWIM PROPERLY - swimming side by side and not being able to actually MANAGE a full length of the pool will make me want to KILL you. Just sayin'.
ALL of these things happened to me when I went swimming yesterday. I'm not sure if I ever want to go swimming again now - I have now developed extreme pool rage!
Any more to add?