Monday, 1 August 2011


I'm developing a mild hatred for Bruno Mars.

I'm sorry, Bruno. I'm sure you are a LOVELY guy. You have a lovely voice. A nice (albeit slightly cheesy) smile. And I do kinda love the song "Grenade". I can't help it.

But therein lies the problem.

The songs. The content of the songs. At least a couple of them.

I think they could actually cause relationship problems.

Girls will be wondering why their guys don't sing them songs about how amazing they are.

To be honest, that girl in the video looks like she KNOWS how amazing she is anyway - does she really need to have that validated further? If he was singing it to, say, Waynetta Slob, it might be slightly less cheesy. Albeit a bit weird.

And you'd probably think "man, he clearly is just trying to get in her pants".

(And then, if you know what Waynetta Slob actually LOOKS like, or clicked on the link above, you would then think "no. He's clearly just utterly insane.")

And as for "Grenade" itself . . .

They'll be wondering why their boyfriend isn't claiming that he'll catch a grenade for them, or take a bullet to their brain . . . no matter how mean to him they are!!!

Guys will be feeling simmering resentment that their woman seems to think Bruno's empty promises and cheesy compliments are better than anything they can come up with.

I'm sorry . . . I don't know about you, but I'm catching a grenade for no one. Unless it's like a fake toy one. Cos I think it would probably fucking hurt! (Selfish? Perhaps. I don't care. That's just me.)

Sorry, this is not actually meant as a serious post - my tongue is firmly wedged in my cheek (the cheek on my FACE before you question that!) But I do think there probably ARE some people out there who think that these songs are what relationships really should be like.

I like to be told I'm amazing, don't get me wrong. I like to get compliments. I like the idea that a dude would love me so much that he would want to protect me at all costs. But only if it's a two way street. And not to these extremes.

Bruno, just lay off for a bit okay? (But PLEASE don't produce another song like that song with the dancing monkey men in it. That just freaked me out.)

Anyway, I'm clearly not the only people who found "Grenade" a bit ridiculous. Check out this parody of it that I recently came across on youtube. LOVE!!!! (Consider this an early Cheer-me-Up Tuesday. I really should stop calling it that, since I rarely do it on a Tuesday on the rare occasions I do it. Hmmm. Anyway.)

What do you think?


  1. Urgh, I hate Bruno mars.
    I tend to avoid love songs at all costs; apart from break-up songs. And 'take my breath away'.

    Julia @ Retro Jules

  2. LOL. My 7 year old son quite likes Bruno Mars songs and sings one of them quite a bit. Hoping that might help him to become a bit of romantic? Me .... I prefer a bit of heart pumping music of the upbeat energetic variety myself. But I guess Bruno gets some hearts pumping (or dumping if your theory is correct).

  3. I liked that Grenade song the first 10 million times I heard it but it got waaaaaaaaaaaaaay overplayed and I'm over it now.

    I do like that new song with him and Eminem.

  4. Sorry P but i gotta disagree with you on this one - I love Bruno Mars! And i actually think a song like " Just the Way You Are " could help a guy in a relationship - all he has to do is dedicate to his lady on the radio, or play it for her and say " babe, this song reminds me of you ".
    Cheesy? Yes. Would it make my heart go all mushy ? Totally!

  5. Hahahaha I love the parody!
    I agree with you. It's so annoying because Bruno Mars is actually a really talented songwriter but the lyrics are just pure cheese! I always find myself singing along to the melody and then realising how dumb the words are! I'm conflicted haha.

  6. Hahaha I laughed so hard at that parody...I don't hate Bruno, in fact I rather like Grenade. But I'm selfish and also wouldn't catch a grenade for anyone. Cheesy.


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