I love you, I really do. The past few weeks I've spent with you . . . they've been great, they really have. I've enjoyed the silly apps I can download, I can spend hours playing pointless games, I LOVE the wi-fi access, and it's the first time my phone has had a half decent camera on it. So I thank you for all those things. A million times over. Sincerely.
But there's something I need to talk to you about.
You have GOT to stop putting words in my mouth.
At first it was just silly little mistakes. The type of thing that used to happen back when I had a BlackBerry and everytime I typed the word "Like" it would change it to "Luke" via predictive text, despite the fact I KNEW NO-ONE CALLED LUKE!!! Stuff like that. So I would type "if" and you would change it to "of". Which is a bit annoying. I know SOMETIMES you think you know better than me, like if I've typed "fanny" when I actually meant "funny" or something like that (I don't think I've done that, it's just an example.) But you have to give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes.
Because it's making me look stupid now. And that's just embarrassing. I should be USED to you by now. People are going to think I don't understand how to use a phone!!! In this day and age, that's like not knowing how to use a PHOTOCOPIER. (Um . . . bad example . . .)
What about the time I was trying to wish a fellow blogger well done on her diet via email and you changed my "congrats hon!" to "contracts hon!"???? (Like THAT is going to make sense...)
The day I was talking on twitter about how I'd just spent 84 pounds in Miss Selfridge and you changed it to "Miss Fridge".
There IS NO "MISS FRIDGE", dumbass!!!
A fellow twitterer/tweeter/whatever you call it sent me, via text, a photo of a guy she was going on a date with soon. My response was meant to be "Oooh, very nice!"
What did YOU change it to??? Don't pretend you don't remember!!!
Oh, yeah, that's right. "Pooh, very nice!"
There could potentially be A LOT wrong with that sentence . . .
And don't even get me STARTED on my Facebook status update about finding the latest emo hangout which you, in your infinite wisdom changed to "emo handout". Yes, that's right, I was walking down the street and discovered a handout on "how to be an emo". I'm trying it out right now, can't you see???
I do love you, phone, but please PLEASE stop over-correcting me. My pride just can't take it anymore.
Have you ever sent an embarrassing text/email/tweet that was your phone's fault, not yours??? Please feel free to shake... I mean, SHARE!!! (Stupid netbook!) :)