Monday, 23 August 2010

EXCESS BAGGAGE . . .

I was watching episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" last night, and one episode in particular got me thinking. It was an episode about the baggage we all have, and may carry into relationships with us.

I started wondering what MY baggage is.

I have a friend (well, technically she's a friend of a friend, but we all hang out together so I kind of consider her my friend too) who has a tendency to end up with really . . . well, STRANGE guys. Like there was the one who had an electronic tag, a criminal past AND present (hence the electronic tag), belonged to a gang, stole a car (not just off the street, out of a fricking CAR SHOWROOM) and she was telling us about this stuff like it was a good thing. "Oh and he likes to treat me rough," she added, just to make it worse. It was okay, she kinda liked it apparently. Each to their own, I suppose. "You don't get to be our age and meet guys without baggage" she said.

Is she right? Is it possible to reach 30 and NOT have baggage?

I don't think I have anything in the way of potential baggage that manifests itself physically. I don't have kids, a jealous ex in my life, a criminal past, nothing really tying me down. But I DO have a lot of insecurities and trust issues from previous relationships. Is that baggage? Relationships stress me out because of this, so I guess that this IS my baggage.

Or perhaps my selfishness could be considered baggage. I like my life the way it is; I don't want it to change for anyone. I find it hard to let someone in to share my life in the first place. I guess that can make me hard work.

I don't really have a CLUE how to be in a grown-up relationship. I'm not always sure I even WANT to be.

But do you know something? I hope someone can look past my baggage some day and take it on. Cos there's a lot of good stuff to go along with it. :)


Do you believe everyone has baggage of some sort? What's yours?

11 comments:

  1. I think everyone has some sort of baggage, and more often than not it's bags upon bags full of our own thoughts. The reality of day to day living is never really as big as what our thoughts and reactions make it out to be, and the same goes for every one of our past experiences that we hold on to and choose to carry along with us. I think there's something powerful to be said for letting go, and not allowing the past to have any control over the future, but there's also something pretty neat about finding someone whose baggage goes with yours :)

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  2. I feel I carry some baggage (and I have no criminal background). Baggage is also the happenings that have changed you during your life - I've got a friend who once got terribly bit by a dog when he was a kid and now suffers of extreme panic to dogs. THAT is also baggage. You carry it with you every day!
    However, just as Emily said, I'm sure that there is someone who has THE matching baggage (that is, for my friend - no dog-lover of course).

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  3. It's inevitable that we will accumulate baggage along the way; we get it from everything in life: families, friendships, relationships, disappointments... I think the important thing is to try avoid it being dysfunctional baggage... kind of like... when a wheel breaks and you're practically carrying the damn thing, it's time to let go.

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  4. I most definitely have baggage but I'm not putting it out for the world to read, sorry!

    I do think everyone has some baggage but I also think it's makes you who you are.

    You asked why I don't make jewelry anymore. Well, I don't have $ to buy the quality supplies I'd like to. I did make a few bead necklaces this past Friday to sell at the community yard sale on Saturday. But then I sat next to a woman who had beautiful jewelry. Mine were very cheap looking compared to hers. Oh well, I sold them anyways.

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  5. I think once you hit your teens and start getting involved romantically with anyone OR has a family (hello! Mine's insane!!!) you get baggage.

    I have massive trust issues. MASSIVE! Too many people give their words and don't blink at breaking them but I was raised to follow thru if I have given my word unless there was no way to follow thru.

    Liars - again ties with trust.

    Sex - 1st guy called me frigid, the ex told me women were there to "ease" a man's urges. Yeah. Massive baggage there.

    I'm working thru those, I still hate liars with a passion though...

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  6. Yep - all that stuff you mentioned is baggage. But we all have it, so you neednt worry.
    I used to worry that my baggage was to heavy for someone else to help me carry, but what i found was someone strong. And who loves me, baggage and all.
    Sounds like the kind of bloke you need....

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  7. I think we all have baggage but I don't think it has to be a bad thing. Yeah, my family history is messed up but my husband is here to help me through it all...and it's made me who I am today which is someone he really loves. If you find someone with baggage that seems dysfunctional, I'd make sure it's really someone you want to be involved with but we don't have to analyze everyone's baggage...they may be carrying around a lot of good stuff! :)

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  8. Pretty sure everyone has baggage. Main ones being depression and social anxiety but there's lots more. It's hard to feel normal in a world that seems to celebrate binge drinking when you don't drink.

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  9. You've got to have baggage. It makes the journey worthwhile ...

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  10. Everyone has some sort of baggage whether its emotional (trust/insecurity issues) or physical (kids from a previous relationship) but like people have commmented up above, it makes you who you are. I think marilyn sums it up best!

    "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure, I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
    — Marilyn Monroe

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  11. Leddy's Marilyn Monroe quote totally sums it all up for me.

    Baggage-wise, I can go from extremes. Wanting independence but wanting someone there.
    Wishing for a peaceful life away from the city, but knowing that I'd go stir crazy if I couldn't get out and go clubbing or grab a takeaway at some ridiculous time.
    Being wary about the chemicals I put into and on my body, then getting pissed as a fart and routinely exceeding the recommended dose of any pain medication I take.
    Loving attention and praise but being to introverted or socially awkward to earn it.

    Man, I'm a pain in the ass. lol

    x

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