Tuesday, 20 April 2010

OOOH . . . NICE ASH!!!

Seriously, when the fuck is this going to end?

Did I mention that the last time Ashy Volcanson erupted it lasted for 13 months? Luckily that was back in the day when such an idea as planes was probably as unlikely as . . . I'm trying to think of a more modern day example. Um . . . as unlikely as us believing Britney Spears was a virgin back in the day? (Yeah, Paula, that's a good one.)

So some of the Scottish airports re-opened today, mainly for domestic flights. Although, strangely, the first INTERNATIONAL flight scheduled to go out was to . . .Reykjavick.

Think about it.

Where is Rekjavick the capital city?

What country is Ashy Volcanoson situated in?


I don't understand. Lack of geography knowledge (apart from capital cities, obv!), perhaps? Why was the first international flight meant to be going TOWARDS where the ash cloud was leaving?

I'm very confused. Maybe it could fly around it easier? Actually no, that makes no sense.

I also don't know if the flight actually went or not. But that was something that had my mind all twisted up all day.

Anyhoo, Glasgow Airport closed again at 1pm, while some other Scottish airports (and a couple of English ones) remained open. But then Ashy had already struck again, spewing out even MORE ash for our inhaling pleasure. Seriously, if I was spewing this long, I'd have been wondering what the FUCK someone had put in my drink. This volcano has had a SERIOUS magma overdose. Someone pump its stomach, stat.

So what now? What will happen next? Will the airports reopen AGAIN only to close again? Will we keep getting messed around for the next year or so? Will the eruption of Ashy a.k.a. Eyjafjallajökull (which, I have been informed is one of the SMALL volcanoes on Iceland!) set off the eruption of its neighbouring volcano Katla (why is that soooo much easier to say?), like it has on past occasions? If so, I don't think many of us in the western world will be travelling by air for a while.

Can you tell I've spent too much time reading up on this?

Right now, I don't see the point in sorting myself out for my holiday when I have no idea whether it will happen or not. I will be leaving getting euros until the last minute. Good thing I'd decided I was leaving buying any clothes until the last minute in case I lost weight. Now, it's in case I lose weight AND in case I don't actually get to go!

That being said, I'm still trying to look at it positively. I'm laughing at the jokes about it. I'm following the ash cloud on Twitter (I suppose its really not ITS fault this is happening - its the volcano's fault!) I'm remembering that while we may have been brought to a standstill by the ash, we can still go about our daily lives without being affected MORE directly by the threat of flooding, or a volcano spewing lava, of our plants and animals being killed, or worse happening.

I'm not really a glass half full sort of girl as you know.

I'm not even really a glass half empty sort of girl.

That's because my glass is COMPLETELY empty. I drank it dry. (And the rest of the bottle.)

But you know what? There's no point in me getting too stressed about this. I realise that. I want to go away, and I will be gutted if I don't get to go - I have been looking forward to this for so long. But when it comes down to it, I need to look at it as . . . even if it falls through . . . I still have a week and a day off work. Which is better than being AT work. Even if it isn't sunning myself on a pretty beach, wearing a bikini, flirting with sleazy barmen and drinking Sex on The Beach.

But positive thoughts are needed. Not just for me, but for anyone else who has been affected by the volcanic eruption, who is stuck overseas and unable to get home, who have plans to get to Europe very soon and aren't sure if they will be able to go (like Amber and Angela), and for those in Iceland itself who are probably most directly affected by Ashy Volcanson and its ongoing magma hangover.

Ashy, if you're interested, I have a glass of water, some painkillers, a bottle of full fat Coke AND a roll and sausage all ready for you. That might help cure you.

No??? Oh right, okay, I'll have them myself then . . .


  1. Here's a fun thing to do... hold onto your tongue and say:

    My dad works on a ship and throws ashes overboard.

    Yeah they canceled 9 flights here in North America... well in Newfoundland at least...

    It's going to cause a lot of major (not just people traveling) problems soon...

    A lot of companies work on the JIT (Just In Time) principle so they don't have to stockpile stuff. They order only what they need right now and just before they run out, they order more. Well if there's no planes carrying cargo in... there's no supplies...

    That's gotta suck living up there...

  2. Ooft when will it end?!?!

    Very thoughtful of you to offer the volcano some hangover cures. Perhaps Ashy just needs a sacrifice to be thrown into it, like the ancients used to do!

    I volunteer Katie Price and Jodie Marsh. You know. In case one isn't enough. And they don't need to be virgin sacrifices.


  3. "That's because my glass is COMPLETELY empty. I drank it dry. (And the rest of the bottle.)"

    Funniest thing I've read all day. Thank you.

  4. Oh hunny Im sorry your having such a weird whacked out week!! The ash cloud has a twitter account??? Are you serious?????? Okay the tweeting has gone too far. I hope it clears so you can go on vacation!! You need it girl!!!

  5. It's all a bit crazy over there with the ash- for once i am thankful that Australia is in the middle of no where...!

    Hope you get your holiday plans sorted out soon :)

  6. I have been living under a rock and I just heard all about this ASH and Iceland. I hope you get to go on your holiday, keeping my fingers crossed!

  7. Is the volcanoes name really Eyjafjallajökull? WTF?

    A staycation can still be fun (although not as fun probably). But you can still drink sex on the beach and you can pretend you are sunning yourself in the sand. Throw on a bikini and lay on a beach towel on your floor and drink until you can't feel feelings anymore. :)

  8. i got boyfriends family stuck here in Bangkok.
    Let me tell you, a stressful family wanting to get home is no fun to be around

  9. You see the volcano was rather clever. It erupted however many kms into the air and then the ash blew over everyone else so Iceland's been pretty unaffected. Clever Mr Volcano.

    Sending out positive thoughts that it'll all be cleared soon and you'll get to go away. Even though I'm jealous that you're getting to go away and I'm not. I'm just SO nice like that.

  10. Yay! Flights are back in action again so your hols will be OK :-)


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