So . . . um . . . where to begin?
Something a bit unexpected happened last night.
And I ended up having dirty-text-time with F.
(Remember F? For anyone who is knew to my blog, he is a guy I used to like while in high school - after ten years of not seeing each other at all, we started chatting to on Facebook about a year ago, he ended up asking me out, and we casually dated - if you could call it even that - for about six months. I've barely heard from since he broke up with me - or whatever the fuck you do when you end it with someone you were barely seeing anyway.)
It started with me drunkenly thinking it would be a good idea to send him a "How are you?" private message on Facebook. Which would have been all well and good if it had been left at that. Normally he either doesn't reply or takes DAYS to reply.
He replied straight away. I found myself replying straight away too. But it was about half one in the morning, and so I decided to dust off his phone number and text instead.
Seriously, what did I hope to achieve? Did I think he was going to tell me he missed me and we would end up back together? I don't think so. I mean, the first thing he did was tell me he had five plays on the go at once - this doesn't sound like someone who is going to have time for a relationship, right? I guess I just missed the chat we had back at the beginning. When we could chat online, face to face, or via text about pretty much anything.
Unfortunately, within about three texts it was clear that it was already descending into the DARKER side of texting. Both wide awake in the middle of the night, both in bed . . . where else could it go except into the gutter?
And the minute it started, I kind of wanted out. I suddenly just felt really tired and wondered why I'd got myself into the situation in the first place.
I still liked him, don't get me wrong. But I suddenly remembered that the constant sex-texting towards the end was all he seemed to have time for. Which made me feel a bit used. It wasn't the sex-chat I missed, it was the NON sex related banter.
That being said, he seemed very keen once he got started, and a couple of times mentioned he could be here in 20 minutes if I said the word. Was he being serious? Who knows? I was scared to say yes in case of the can of worms it could potentially open . . . and I also couldn't really face him seeing me with greay hair and a few extra poundage since the last time he saw me.
I finally fell asleep at half four in the morning in the middle of texting, and I guess he did too as he only sent one text after I fell asleep and didnt follow it up. Or maybe he realised it was a bad idea to continue. I've heard nothing since.
So the moral of the story I guess is this - I liked him more for the other stuff than for the sex. It seems he liked ME more for the sex. At least in the end. So perhaps FINALLY I have the closure I need.
Now I'm off to get dressed and head to the Botanics with my book for my last day off before I return to work tomorrow. Thank God it's a nice day - sunshine is exactly what I require today! :)