Sunday, 11 April 2010


So . . . um . . . where to begin?

Something a bit unexpected happened last night.

And I ended up having dirty-text-time with F.

(Remember F? For anyone who is knew to my blog, he is a guy I used to like while in high school - after ten years of not seeing each other at all, we started chatting to on Facebook about a year ago, he ended up asking me out, and we casually dated - if you could call it even that - for about six months. I've barely heard from since he broke up with me - or whatever the fuck you do when you end it with someone you were barely seeing anyway.)

It started with me drunkenly thinking it would be a good idea to send him a "How are you?" private message on Facebook. Which would have been all well and good if it had been left at that. Normally he either doesn't reply or takes DAYS to reply.

He replied straight away. I found myself replying straight away too. But it was about half one in the morning, and so I decided to dust off his phone number and text instead.

Seriously, what did I hope to achieve? Did I think he was going to tell me he missed me and we would end up back together? I don't think so. I mean, the first thing he did was tell me he had five plays on the go at once - this doesn't sound like someone who is going to have time for a relationship, right? I guess I just missed the chat we had back at the beginning. When we could chat online, face to face, or via text about pretty much anything.

Unfortunately, within about three texts it was clear that it was already descending into the DARKER side of texting. Both wide awake in the middle of the night, both in bed . . . where else could it go except into the gutter?

And the minute it started, I kind of wanted out. I suddenly just felt really tired and wondered why I'd got myself into the situation in the first place.

I still liked him, don't get me wrong. But I suddenly remembered that the constant sex-texting towards the end was all he seemed to have time for. Which made me feel a bit used. It wasn't the sex-chat I missed, it was the NON sex related banter.

That being said, he seemed very keen once he got started, and a couple of times mentioned he could be here in 20 minutes if I said the word. Was he being serious? Who knows? I was scared to say yes in case of the can of worms it could potentially open . . . and I also couldn't really face him seeing me with greay hair and a few extra poundage since the last time he saw me.

I finally fell asleep at half four in the morning in the middle of texting, and I guess he did too as he only sent one text after I fell asleep and didnt follow it up. Or maybe he realised it was a bad idea to continue. I've heard nothing since.

So the moral of the story I guess is this - I liked him more for the other stuff than for the sex. It seems he liked ME more for the sex. At least in the end. So perhaps FINALLY I have the closure I need.

Now I'm off to get dressed and head to the Botanics with my book for my last day off before I return to work tomorrow. Thank God it's a nice day - sunshine is exactly what I require today! :)


  1. Breakups are hard, especially when there many emotions involved and no closure. One thing I know the past should stay in the past.

  2. We talked about this earlier.

    I want to boot him in the baws.

    That is all.



  3. There's a guy that will still periodically text me and just ask what I'm wearing.
    We were together for a couple of years a few years ago, and it was very apparent that the only thing we had in common was good sex. Unfortunately we stuck with the relationship much longer than we should have, and hated each other as a result. About a year after our split, we ran into each other, and started in on our friendly banter with no sexual tension at all. Over a few months we found our pre-relationship friendship.
    Then we screwed up and had sex.
    I've been married now for 2 years (this was all pre-marriage) and he knows and mostly respects that. If I ever responded to his "what are you wearing" texts, he'd def keep going. But I ignore him, and ask him how life is...
    If I was single, I could see me falling into sexting with him, so yeah, I get it.
    I think it's called "A glutton for punishment" ;-)
    I found you via Snaf :-)

  4. text sex and phone sex....never really could understand the appeal. Tried it but I was usually bored after hitting send and watching something on tv while the guy responded.

    I suppose falling asleep during sexting isn't as bad as falling asleep during actual sex. Which I do...frequently. *shrug*

  5. Good old text sex. It can be so hot when it's not with someone you are still hung up on. But maybe this was your Aha moment.

  6. Oh, how I feel your pain - I've drunk text'd, emailed and dialed and booty called someone.

    It happens and you move on, but it sounds like your drunk texting got you closure which is really priceless.

  7. How bad could that can of worms really be?? *raises eyebrow*

    Why not give a face to face a shot. Twitter tells me he texted again.

  8. This is why I read your blog. Every experience you write compares to something that's happened in my own life. Hopefully the next time you get the urge to contact him again, you'll read this blog entry and remember that you and he want very different things from each other. Good luck finding someone who wants the same things you do.

  9. I totally agree that the past is in the past and if a man is out of your life, he's out of your life for a reason and he's not meant to be in it.
    Guys are lame and I think completely and not beneficially unpredictable.

  10. ohhh i know that feeling where you are like what did i get myself into. at one of my old jobs one of the managers of another department and i used to do that on instant messenger. it started off really firty. i liked him but i didn't know how much and then one day he told my boss he needed me to help pack up a department on the floor above mine. we were the only ones up there! haha

  11. I've never really got sexting... I mean... it's not like phone sex where you're actually talking back and forth... you gotta type out your message... send.... wait for reply...

    Then again I'd love for a hot woman to send me a sexy text message... so...

  12. That was amazingly logical. Not that you're not logical. You probably are. I just mean that you can have a sexting session and see it for what it is/was so clearly. Good on you!

  13. wow. EXACTLY what i needed to read TONIGHT. thanks!


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