You remember how I once thought my clothes were conspiring against me? Well, I still believe that. Especially since my skirt decided to disappear somewhere underneath my top on my way home tonight (thank goodness I was wearing a longish coat and not a short jacket, because my knickers would undoubtedly have been showing. And that already happened once this week...)
But I also believe someone is out to get my CLOTHES! Because of late, my room has turned into a black hole and started to suck some of my favourite clothes and accessories into it.
I HATE to lose things. It's probably my most OCD-like tendency. When I realise I lose something, I search for it OBSESSIVELY. It consumes many of my waking hours as I wonder where I haven't looked already, where I HAVE looked and somehow missed it . . .I find it really hard to stop thinking about it, and the only thing that stops me searching for it until I find it is my inherent laziness.
I'm not someone who can shrug off just misplacing things, not even unimportant things. If a certain book pops into my head, I want to find it, right then, right there. If I want to wear a certain thing and can't find it, I will end up making myself late, and usually have to give up on it eventually. Usually a couple of days after I give up, it reappears somewhere I've checked a million times.
It happened with my precious Barbie top a few weeks ago. I thought I'd lost it forever, eventually given up on it as a lost cause. Shortly afterwards it turned up in the drawer I'd checked obsessively for days.
It happened with my pretty Primark belt last week. (I KNOW it's only Primark, it cost like two pounds fifty, but knowing what the stock turnover is like in there, I probably would never find a duplicate version). I found that in my UNDERWEAR drawer of all places, tonight, after a week of searching in vain.
It's not THAT type of belt, if you know what I mean.
And now it's happened to one of my newest tops.
Now, this top is nothing particularly special. Just a black vest. But I wore it one day last week and . . . let's just say "the girls" looked pretty damn good in it. That was the only day I wore it. And now it's vanished without a trace.
I have no doubt it will reappear shortly. Although I have every intention of going onto asos tonight and ordering a new one anyway - "you can never have too many black vests, after all!" so the saying I just made up goes. But I am absolutely stumped to why these things keep going missing and then reappearing mysteriously somewhere I've already looked.
No, it's not my flatmates. We don't have one of those flatshares where people share each other clothes and drink wine together and talk about their boyfriend's penis size and stuff like that. Well, MOST of us don't anyway. Someone wouldn't just walk into my room and start using my stuff. I know this for a fact.
So the only conclusion is this - the black hole is being operated from INSIDE the room. But who is doing it???
And why??? Are they lending them to other girls to wear to make some extra cash? Or are they just trying to mess with my head?
Anyhoo, I have some suspects . . .
Suspect number one - Winnie the Pooh Head*.
Mainly because he is jealous because he has no body and is taking it out on me.
Either that or he's trying to get me naked. Which is extremely disturbing.
Good old Rosy cos she is a little mischief maker sometimes. You might be thinking she doesn't look quite herself in the picture. Well, she doesn't actually like having her picture taken so when I snapped it, she blushed. Since she is already quite blushy, she goes transparent when embarrassed. See?
Okay, I admit it. I drank her dry. You happy now?
Last but not least, there's mini-Paula** who sits on my shelf and looks at me. Possibly jealously because she is stuck inside a picture. And I don't entirely trust her because I think last time Mich was over she said no matter where you are sitting in my room it looks like mini-Paula is looking at you. Which is weird because I honestly thought I lost my squint as a child. Hmmm.
Who could it be??? Who has the biggest motive???
Or am I really just the most careless person in the world?
And, most importantly, where will my top actually turn up???***
ALL WILL BE REVEALED WHEN . . . well, when I FIND it, I suppose. :(
*A present from my lovely little sis.
** Another present from little sis. She likes to give me presents. :)
***Apologies if this is a weird post. That's the kind of weird mood I'm in tonight.****
On a sidenote, in amongst the footnotes, I love you all. xxxxx
****And no I've not been drinking. The Rosy pictured was consumed several nights ago!