Thursday, 18 March 2010

TMI THURSDAY: "SNOT" MUCH OF A TMI . . . BUT IT *IS* ABOUT SNOT!

It's Thursday.

You know what that means.

DA DA DUM!!!

TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday!!!

And to be honest, I'm kinda coming up with nothin' on the old TMI front of late. I mean, if you want to see me at my TMI best, then you should really read my post about a gay guy making me touch his willy. Or the time I spaghetti-puked on a guy who liked me. Or, in the days before I knew about TMI, the time my boobs put a guy to sleep.

ANYHOO, this post is pretty mild in comparison. But hey-ho. It's not the winning but the taking part that counts, right? (So says the loser anyway!)

So a couple of weeks ago I was at this workshop regarding my job at a hotel in Glasgow. We were split into groups to do various things (seriously, you would have no idea what I'm talking about so there's no point in me getting into anything more specific than that) and then we kept get encouraged to talk to the room.

WHAT??? There was at least 50 people in the room. I was NOT talking to the entire room. I barely even wanted to talk to the GROUP!

One thing I am NOT is a public speaker. I get nervous and stumble over my words and go bright red. People say you can feel less intimidated by imagining the people you're talking to naked. That's a bit silly. What if there's a hot guy in the audience? Obviously, imagining HIM naked is going to be MORE of a distraction. So sometimes I think maybe if I imagine them sitting on the toilet, doing a poo. But that's also distracting because HOW THE FUCK am I meant to concentrate on what I'm saying when everyone who is listening to me is having a crap in my head? Nah, not happening.

You might have realised that I'm bringing up lots of TMI stuff (Naked people? Check. People pooing? Check.) so you don't notice how poo-like my TMI actually is. Clever, eh? I'm trying to win you over with my humour instead. (Is it working? Give me compliments. I like compliments. I am a champion fisherwoman of compliments. That may be my own personal quote of the day.)

I'm sure everyone in my group and around me thought I was a weirdo anyway as I was having issues with my contact lenses and spent the entire day either winking at randoms, or looking like I was crying, as my right eye apparently sprung a massive leak and tears kept running down my face. Lovely.

So finally it became time for me to have to speak in front of my group. I basically was only going to have to explain something quickly, for about a minute maximum, in front of about eight people. But I was still nervous. And I ended up last to go.

I stood up next to the flipchart and made my case. My eyes were finally not running anymore, I was far more composed (at least on the outside) than I thought I would be, people seemed to understand the points I was trying to make. Basically, I was golden.

As I finished speaking, as the eyes were still on me, my nose unexpectedly started running. A big splodge of snot landed on the floor.

I COULD SEE IT THERE!

I pretended it hadn't happened and died quietly inside. Everyone politely pretended they didn't see it. They acted like it was snot there.

(Yeah, I know I've used that joke in my title but . . . hold on, no need to defend myself, it's my blog, I can do what I want!)

(Uh-huh)

Anyway, that was a shitty TMI and for that I apologise.

And also, reading back this post, I realise I sound kinda like I'm on something.

I'm honestly, HONESTLY not.

(Honest.)

Anyway, check out LiLu's blog today for some far better TMIs than this one!

14 comments:

  1. That's still a good one. Not nasty TMI, but embarassing TMI. Different category but still a winner! :)

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  2. I find it amusing I've been reading your blog for so long that I knew each of the ones linked at the beginning without clicking through...!

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  3. Aww. ::Hugs::

    One time in the elevator a guy blew his nose and I saw snot come out and land on the wall, and I almost became Adrian Monk right then and there. But he's not as awesome as you, so you're OK! :D

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  4. I'm the type that gets a little giddy when I'm embarrassed, so I probably would have died laughing and pointed the damn thing out to everyone. I tend to make situations worse for myself :)

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  5. The other day, as I was riding the bus, my nose started running and I was looking through my bag for a tissue. Then suddenly snot started dripping out of my nose INTO MY BAG. Hoping nobody saw it I looked up, but I caught the very disgusted look of the woman sitting across from me.
    Thankfully she got out at the next stop.

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  6. we've all had that 'snot just projected out of my nose and everyone knows it' moments... at least it didn't land ON someone :)

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  7. And speaking of honest.... i've given you the " Honest Scrap " award over at my blog!

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  8. um, if it makes you feel any better, I may have had a teeny bit of snot escape onto my bouquet DURING MY WEDDING CEREMONY because I was crying so much. Whoops!

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  9. Sounds like an embarrasing moment to me and that is definitely TMI, we like to keep those things quiet, secret and snot falling out your nose in front of eight people is nasty and I feel for you because I know I would have sunk down in my chair and ignored it too.

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  10. Awww dammit I should not have read this while eating my Sainsbury's Pesto salad thing! lol

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  11. I hate boogers and snot!!! I think this is def TMI. It def made me wanna vom. I have a video post completing a dare that has to do with boogers today if you're interested!

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  12. Probably shouldn't be eating lunch while reading this. But you won me over dear Fisherwomen!

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  13. Lols! I am not good with public speaking either. I hate having to do public speaking. It terrifies me. And the snot... Lols... That is super embarrassing. =) Hopefully snot gonna happen again. =)

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  14. Hahaha Bless!

    See, I do this pretty much every day as I'm jogging along.. For some reason my otherwise-blocked-to-the-core nose decides to turn in to a tap out in the fresh air. Which is why I always turn down my mates' offers to be a jogging partner! :D

    I share your fear for public speaking as well. So far, I've never sniffled snot while I've given a presentation though! :D

    xx

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