Sunday, 14 March 2010

SO THIS IS ME NOW . . .

  • A good weekend has been had all in all, despite all the crap of last week. I spent last night with my sister and brother in law eating tapas and drinking sangria in Barca. I'm generally not a fan of tapas (I don't like the sharing element which I believe is implied in it - like Joey in "Friends", I don't really like to share food) but this was delicious. Much hilarity also ensued when I took a document relating to the hassle of the last few days out to show my sister and accidentally manage to launch the paperclip holding it together into the jug of sangria. It's amazing the things that become amusing when one is drunk. That being said, even the waitress was amused.
  • On my way home, I helped a drunk girl pick up her much drunker friend. She just decided to fall over on the pavement in Byres Road. As far as I could see, she didn't even TRIP, just collapsed in a heap, right next to where a guy was begging. The beggar was VERY put out, he actually MOVED. I think he thought she had stole his thunder a bit. He may have also wanted to steal her purse, which had fallen on the ground, but I had already picked that up and handed it to her very embarrassed friend so I got the evil eye too. By the time we managed to pick her up, quite a crowd had gathered. It was quite amusing.
  • I text my sister to tell her that and she said that would be good karma. She wasn't wrong. I got home to realise that Scotland and England had drew in the rugby. I had put 5 pounds on a draw earlier, and the odds had been 20-1. I made 100 quid! Woohoo!

In other news . . .

I've had a lot of time to think in the past few days and I've came to some realisations.

I sometimes feel like a bit of a child-woman. For someone who is 30, I'm pretty much stuck in my teens. My biggest responsibility is making sure I get to work on time and pay my rent. I have no kids, no savings, I wouldn't have the first CLUE how to get a mortgage. I can't drive, I float through life with a certain recklessness, worrying about things but just assuming they will right themselves eventually, it will all balance itself out in the end. Perhaps I'm more of a hippy than I realise. I'm not pro-active, I am REactive. I think people also think I have a tendency to be a walkover. This is probably because I'm easygoing and I detest confrontation. Therefore I'll back down or not speak my mind if faced with the potential of an argument.

Which essentially is what a walkover is, I guess.

But I'm made of sterner stuff than people think. I know others who would probably go and curl up in a foetal position after the events of the past few days, retreat to their bed and sob, beg off with stress. I'm NOT that kind of person. I may be a crybaby; it's completely embarrassing how easily tears come sometimes - but I am NOT a wimp. I am stronger than a lot of people. I am a survivor. I am going to tackle this problem head-on, not wait for it to catch me off-guard again. I am NOT going to be walked over this time.

I will not allow it.

(Go me!!!!)

Off to do some baking now. Perhaps you might even get a recipe post tomorrow. (Or perhaps not . . .)

12 comments:

  1. You sound a lot like me! So, go us! Stronger than we look xx

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  2. You are a strong woman.. Avoiding confrontation doesn't make you a walkover; being put down and made fun of and then THANKING the person for it does. Arguing doesn't make people strong. How many guys have you seen fighting on a Saturday night and thought "ooh, how sexy and strong they are" rather than thinking "so you get one beer in you and you turn into a twat?"

    By the way, feel free to send some of your bakings this way.. Tablet, was it? Nom nom nom

    xx

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  3. Go you!:)

    Let's show people that their doubts on us don't have any base!

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  4. Well done on the 100 quid! I was going to put money on my team winning 1-0, didn't and we won 1-0. Sods law, eh?

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  5. there's nothing wrong with living it up at 30. I don't think you, or any of us, should conform to the "norms" of being 30 should be like. Personally, I think i'll be much happier if I am relatively carefree and able to travel and not worry about putting kids to bed every night when im 30.

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  6. You go P! Don't whine, I'm the one that does that! yes, you are strong and I admire that!

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  7. from one 30s woman child to another, amen. Its comforting to know I am not the only one who feels exactly like this in my age.

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  8. PAULA DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!! (That's all I could hear in my head once you'd reference Friends, I had to get it out.)

    I can definitely see myself in a lot of what you say, some people are just different, and it's not necessarily a bad thing to be a reactive person all the time. And I definitely know what you mean about being the quiet one and people mistaking that with being a pushover. People never learn that the quiet ones are the ones you need to watch out for!

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  9. I'd advise on ramping up the savings part of your life. Start small and then work way up.

    I wish I had done more. Life would be easier right now and if you think you know where you'll be in 10 years, think again.

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  10. Yay for karma and rugby bets that have paid off!

    Be assertive, take control, be positive... and all shall be well :)

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  11. Sangria and tapas sound so good right now!

    I think you and I are a lot alike. I'm 30 but act 15 however I'm pregnant so I'll soon have to grow up. Damn it. I'm also easy going to the point where I rarely have any stress in my life which is great! But sometimes I wonder if that is normal? To just not worry and figure things will work themselves out? Oh well. That is just the way I am!

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