So it's March 1st which means that finally FINALLY winter is fading away to make way for spring.
And thank FUCK for that.
I will be so unbelievably glad to see the back of winter. It has seriously been the most horrible winter I remember in my life (weather-wise. In terms of my life, it's been pretty good I reckon.) I mean, it's March now and it's Scotland which means ANYTHING could happen between now and April - there could be a snow storm, or I could get sunburnt; both of which have happened at the same time in March depending on the year - but the important thing is that the WORST of the winter weather should HOPEFULLY be gone.
This is something I welcome wholeheartedly for various reasons.
For one thing, I'll soon no longer need to worry about slipping on ice in front of other humans and making a fool of myself (That being said, it WAS icy this morning. Typical.)
I'll no longer leave the flat in the morning after forgetting to look out the window to check the weather and discover I'm not wrapped up enough for the blizzard that started during the night.
No longer will I get funny looks for teaming my ballet pumps with bare feet. (I dislike wearing socks.)
AND I won't be going into the office when it's dark and leaving the office when it's dark - therefore I will know what daylight looks like again. Yay - I can prove I'm not a vampire . . . y'know, in case anyone was worried about that. (Although vampires ARE very "in" right now.)
(I'm sorry, I'm in a strange mood tonight...)
But here is the best thing about the weather improving . . .
Getting dressed in the morning will be SOOOO MUCH EASIER.
I HATE getting dressed in the winter. I'm always too cold to actually shed my pyjamas completely before I put on my day's outfit, so I end up in a struggle that an escapologist would be in admiration of as I try to put ON my clothes before I remove my pyjamas.
Yup, even HARRY HOUDINI would struggle with this feat.
My lack of double-jointedness doesn't make this endeavour easy. Neither does the fact that my clothes conspire against me.
You think I'm being paranoid?
I bet I'm not the only one.
Let me give you my theory . . .
You think it's just "an accident" that the neckline of your top slides down to reveal half of your bra when you're not looking? And if you've ever, like me, accidentally found yourself flashing a nip . . . it's because your top has CONSPIRED WITH YOUR BRA for this to happen.
Fly undone? YOU DIDN'T DO IT. THE FLY DID IT ALL BY ITSELF.
Did you get toothpaste on your clothes right before you were about to leave the house one morning? It wasn't anything to do with you. (THE TOOTHPASTE IS ON IT TOO, GODDAMMIT!)
Did the buttons burst open on your shirt? Or you bent over and your trousers ripped at the arse?
It's all the clothes' doing. NOT YOURS.
So is it any wonder that when I am struggling to put a top on without taking off my dressing gown, that my top MYSTERIOUSLY ends up back to front or inside out and I don't realise it until I've let the dressing gown drop on the floor and so I end up freezing as I try to quickly remedy the error?
Oh no. THE TOP DID IT ALL BY ITSELF.
It wanted me to be cold.
When the weather gets warmer . . . at least the clothes can't beat me anymore.
Suck on THAT, Houdini.
What is your favourite thing about winter coming to an end? Or have you experienced some embarrassing wardrobe malfunction recently? Feel free to share your thoughts . . .
(And, once again, I apologise for my weird mood)