Sunday, 7 February 2010


I had an absolute blast in Manchester but I'm too tired to talk about it right now. (Sorry. I know you're all on the edge of your seats waiting to hear.) Suffice to say, I met some really lovely girls and it was great to meet them FINALLY in person.

But the first story I ended up telling them involved me peeing.

(I'm sorry, girls!)

Yesterday morning, I had left plenty of time to get ready, but my plan had been to head out of my flat at 9, despite the fact my train wasn't until 10.10. Instead I got into a flap at the last minute, started double-checking everything was in my bag, and somehow I didn't end up leaving until about 9.20. Which put me in a bit of a flap, as I always like to have lots of time before a train to ensure I'm on the right one, etc. When I got to the subway, I JUST missed a train and of course the next one wasn't due for another eight minutes. I was texting The Pink Jellybaby to tell of my panic because it was now nearly 9.40 - and I had been planning to BE at the station by that point. Eek.

As I finally walked from the subway to Glasgow Central, I realised I needed the toilet. Which was a nuisance but I HATE peeing on public transport so it seemed that a trip to the loo in the station was necessary. This became even MORE necessary when I realised my tights were covered in brown mud. I'd splashed myself with a puddle on the way to the subway station. It was NOT going to be repairable but it was fine. I had two spare pairs with me.

I checked the board and the train didn't have a platform yet, so I hurried downstairs to the loo, shoved my 30p into the slot with panicky fingers and locked myself in a cubicle. As I sat on the loo, I started rooting through my bag for my spare tights, found them and decided to change them while I peed. I pulled off the tights, went to pull on the new pair . . . and realised I HAD LOST MY KNICKERS!

Had I put any ON this morning, I wondered?

Um - yeah. I generally DON'T go commando.

So where were they?

I had a momentary thought that perhaps I'd kicked them out of the loo and they were now in the middle of the floor.

Thankfully they were not.

After a couple of seconds panicking (and still peeing), I realised that they were in fact tangled up in the old pair of tights.

Thank God.

And THAT, dear readers, was basically the first thing I said to the girls.

You're welcome...


  1. This is why I love reading your blog - You always have a hilarious story to tell lol. Glad you found your undies!

  2. Haha...nothing like the nuisances of public toilets.

  3. I'm amazed you made it to Manchester and back, unharmed and still clothed! Well done P.

  4. Public toilets suck! And before putting on fresh clothes I need to bathe else my skin will be itchy...

    Glad to know you made it though! :)

  5. I hate public bathrooms too, only in case of extreme emergency.

  6. Oh Paula - you always have the best " I cannot believe that happened! " stories....

  7. you are so funny!
    I cant wait to hear the stories, I really wish I could have been there

  8. You crack me up on a daily basis. Thank you! hahaha

  9. Hehe, what a way to introduce yourself!! X

  10. Hehe, honest from the start huh? ;)

  11. It was endearing, honestly! xx

  12. Wait wait wait...are you saying that you have to pay to use public toilets? I can officially never cross the pond! When it comes to travel (rail, plane, whatever) I always like to pee a few times before boarding said mode of transportation. I'd have been broke just traveling back and forth b/w NYC and Connecticut, sheesh.

    Hm, wow, got a little TMI on my own there, didn't I?

  13. Too funny! At least you remembered to take your knickers off prior to peeing. For some reason when I wear tights (which isn't often) I sometimes ALMOST forget to pull my knickers down prior to peeing! I have no idea why. But thankfully I've always caught myself just in the knick of time. :)

  14. Public toilets are the worst. I feel like they are out to get us.

    Also I want to start saying things like knickers, loo and flap. But Americans can't really pull it off.


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