Tuesday, 2 February 2010

CHEER ME UP TUESDAY : THE QUICK EDITION

Time for "Cheer Me Up Tuesday" and today's edition is brought to you in a bit of a rush as I spent too long hitting snooze and really SHOULD be ready and out the door by now but instead I'm sitting with only half my make up on, unbrushed hair, no clothes on (mind out of the gutter please, I have my dressing gown on!) and am typing this instead! (Thank the lord for flexi-time . . .)

So basically you're going to get to the end of this and go "Was that it? Is it over ALREADY?" . . . but hopefully it will have given you a giggle anyway. I received this in an email yesterday and had to share . . .

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We have to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You'd better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH

I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Would you like to have sex?
May I have this dance = I would like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I would like to have sex with you
Would you like to go to a movie? = I would like to have sex with you
Can I take you to dinner? = I would like to have sex with you
Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay.


Hope you liked! And if you have any funny-ness you care to share, please feel free to do so!

Let's make Tuesdays better for me, and anyone else who despises them as much as me! :)

24 comments:

  1. I definitely dislike Tuesday's...but not today because I have the day off...and I'm going to do nothing! Woo x

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  2. Ha!
    Spot on, and yes my mind was in the gutter after the 4th line of your post! How predictable eh?

    Steve

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  3. I love this post. Men are soooo sex minded almost 90% of the time :D

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  4. I'm afraid I haven't got anything to add this week! It is 5:15 AM here in NYC and I am just getting to bed after a bout of insomnia! At least I got some writing done.

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  5. I love: Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay.

    I bet there could be this for men:

    I'm full = Okay, I'm fed, is it time for sex?

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  6. I'm intrigued by your ability to delve into the male psyche. Don't translate me using the word intrigued either! Trying to stay classy here.

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  7. Haha, this was cute! I hope you have a great Tuesday! :)

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  8. Man's Question:
    "Will You Marry me" = I want to have sexual access to you all the time.

    Women;s Response "Yes" = Play times over.

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  9. haha that's a good list!

    But it's missing every woman's go to:

    I'm fine = Hooo boy am I pissed at you/hurt by you

    Fine...not actually meaning "fine" since women started saying it.

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  10. We need=I want. Ah ha ha. Too funny!

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  11. I love this list. Stereotypical- yes. Accurate-YES!

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  12. I... must be gay :(

    Haha.

    Pretty true. Men usually say what they mean, and sex has a lot to do with it too.

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  13. Those are great and I've definitely used the
    "Do what you want = You will pay for this later"
    one SEVERAL times. Unfortunately for the hubs he doesn't seem to learn.

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  14. These are so funny! I just copied and pasted these to a bunch of friends :)

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  15. "Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay."

    Oh my god that is so true. But usually when I have heard that it is from already openly gay men.

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  16. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

    That one is sooo my favourite and made me laugh the most :P Great list :)

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  17. That was cute. It definitely cheered me up.

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  18. LOL!!! Soo true!! Ohh I needed this, I needed a bit of cheering up. Thank u dear for your comment too. It means so much for advice & opinions. I really appreciate it!! Thank u!! *Hugs*

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  19. Hahahaha, I def. enjoyed and totally agree with all the women ones. I do and say all those things!

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  21. I would share a funny, but my jokes are too filthy to publish I'm afraid :(

    As for your list - HILARIOUS! I was sent this list a while back and loved it then, loved it now. *cough*listispartlytrue*cough* XD

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