Sunday, 3 January 2010


When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I tend to do is check my Facebook and see what my friends have been saying on their most recent status updates.

This is because I can access it on my Blackberry. NOT because I'm addicted to Facebook.

Er . . . well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So anyway, yesterday morning, I woke up as normal, automatically reached for my phone and there was a status update from F (formerly known as The Guy). Who is currently at the other side of the world for a couple of weeks. And it mentioned that the day before (ie the first day of 2010) he'd done a "walk of shame" but at least it had been across the harbour bridge. You know, like that made it better.

I briefly thought "you COCK", the rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. At that point I don't even think I was that mad. But then later on, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

I know we haven't been "together" for a few months now, and I have no hold over him and he can shag whoever the fuck he wants. BUT . . . and this is the bit that wound me up most . . . did he have to post it on Facebook???

Hypocritical of me, perhaps (given what I post on this blog) but since I post on Facebook under my own name, if I was going to have sex with someone else, I wouldn't bloody post it on there. Knowing that someone I was involved with until fairly recently was going to see it.

It ranked up there with the time about a month after we split that he was lamenting on Facebook the lack of girls interested in him. I felt like commenting saying "Maybe it's due to your utter lack of sensitivity". But then I didn't want him to know how much it hurt. Self preservation and all that.

ANYWAY, of course then his friends start needling the issue further with their comments, with one saying it can't have been THAT shameful if he posted it on Facebook (touche - that is indeed a worthwhile point) and then another - calling a spade a spade - asked point blank if he was saying he'd had sex.

Which I suppose is a fair enough question. I mean, obviously there is an implication within the term "walk of shame" that a one night stand was had, but it CAN just as easily refer to someone who just stayed out all night and walked home the next day in their clothes from the night before.

(Which admittedly is something I do A LOT. Without the sex, I mean. Le sigh . . .)

So with bated breath I waited nearly a full 24 hours for a response on that one, if one was forthcoming. And this morning, it came. F said that no, he hadn't had sex, he'd just stayed out all night. What did his friend take him for?

(A single guy, presumably. Er - duh!)

Of course, we only have his word for it. The fact of the matter is, he must know for himself what people were going to infer from him saying he'd done a walk of shame. He WANTED people to think he'd had sex, at least for a while before he cleared up the matter.

You know something though? I'm not going to deny I still have some feelings for the guy. I can't - it would be a total lie if I did. But the more he does things like this, the more I start to wonder if he was really the guy I thought he was, and the more relieved I am that he isn't really in my life anymore.

But this little incident has had the unfortunate side-effect of reminding me how good the sex was with him.

Which I REALLY didn't want to think about . . .


  1. Hmmm... sounds like he just wants attention. Let's face it, every Facebook status we post is for just that, attention. Maybe he was looking for a reaction for you and if you don't give it to him it will only intrigue him more!

  2. Ugh, that is the worst! Sometimes I think facebook is the devil for reasons just like that.

  3. This sucks. I hate the internet just for that. In the past years I loved so much pain because on the internet, yet I am here still on it and living with a guy I met online.

  4. Don't we all have feelings for our exes? OK, sometimes it might be feelings of dislike but as time dulls the edge of bitterness don't we start to think almost fondly of them, and wonder what they're up to? Anyway, that's by the by. The trouble with FB is it can be 'exhibitionists corner' and I have no doubt he was playing to the audience.

  5. oooh facebook is a danger zone for inferring all sorts of things!! i know it!

    (ps, it's ok to be addicted. i think i am)

    i agree with amber...sounds like he's fishing for attention!

  6. There's a few ways of looking at this. Either it was an attention seeking move towards you. It was an attention seeking move towards someone else. or it was just someone having a laugh with their friends and not thinking/worrying about what their ex may think.

    If it bothers you, which it obviously does, resist the urge to know these things and unfreind him.

    Have just read this back and it sounds harsh - sorry am tired and a bit ratty, but it all still stands, just pretend i said it in a more friendly way, please.

  7. breaking up sucks...I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my breakup this summer and even though your like 'totally over it' sometimes, little things like this facebook situation or when I actually saw my ex doing the walk of shame one very early morning on my way to class...just bring back all those feelings you've been trying so hard to stash away in some deep, dark recess of your mind. I can totally relate to this post. Thanks for sharing with us :)

  8. People say things on facebook because they want a reaction.

    I don't like facebook for that very reason :/

  9. Man so glad my single days were pre facebook. I'm f-ing addicted to facebook and my crackberry. They are my best friends.

  10. I know that break ups hurt, even weeks after they happen, but I'd take comfort in not being involved with someone who thinks that kind of status update is entertaining. It's just needy. He just wanted attention, for his mates to speculate. Had nobody actually asked him straight out, would he have admitted that nothing happened, or just let it run without comment?

    I dunno, maybe I am being harsh, but I'd be grateful to be out of it.

  11. For reasons like this I don't go on facebook anymore. I have a guy that broke up with me cuz he has a new gf & I can't read his status updates. I just can't.

    All this stuff does get easier with time & all this anger starts to fade. That's what everyone has been telling me so it's gotta be true!!

  12. I agree with Helen people say things on facebook because they want a reaction. I find it true especially when down and you need cheering up. I would've reacted the exact same way as you, my heart would be in my mouth til I found out what he meant.

  13. Typical fucking actor, playing to an audience. God he must have praised Jeebus when Facebook was invented - guaranteed at least one person to bear witness to his attention-seeking. Pathetic wee rat-bastard.

    I'm sorry, I'm still pretty wound up over the past day or two... I'm a lot more vicious than usual towards wankers who upset or annoy you!


  14. I hadn't heard of that term before! This guy sounds like a nob, who uses facebook for all of the wrong reasons.

  15. Aside from sounding like a total douche, your ex sounds like a typical guy - wants all his mates to think he's down in Australia getting it on with every chick he meets.

    I say ignore him as much as you can - 2010 is a new year, for a new guy!

  16. This is really a great blog you are being realy genuine about what you have going on in life. You have a great blog and I want to thank you very much for sharing.

    Best regards,
    Tom Bailey

  17. Wow! That's so tacky that he put that on his Facebook! I mean a blog is one generally have a repeat audience, but with Facebook it's there for EVERYONE!

  18. he's an attention whore, that man!


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