So instead I thought I would talk about celebrities and the ridiculous demands they make when they go somewhere. You know, like the stars who want nothing but white furniture in their dressing room, or twenty rooms to fit their entourage, or a first-born pig sacrificed at midnight under a full moon . . . Too far?
Actually, I don't really care about these celebrities and their idiotic demands. I've just been thinking about what MY demands would be were I a celeb. Let's see . . .
- A masseuse to be at my beck and call
- Several bottles of sparkling rose chilling on ice
- Several packets of Skittles - but I want all the purple and green ones taken out of the packet before they are given to me.
- Permanent Facebook access (and no interruptions when I want to play Geo Challenge)
- A chaise longue to lounge around on when I'm not working hard and being all famous
- A library of chick-lit novels - AND THEY ALL HAVE TO BE BOOKS I HAVEN'T READ BEFORE!
- Robert Downey Junior. Just because.
- Someone to stand over me with a fan when I am too warm (I realise I could just have an electric fan but where's the fun in that? Better to have someone SPECIFICALLY EMPLOYED TO DO IT. That makes ME feel more important, right?)
- Delicious cream cakes - WITH ALL THE CALORIES REMOVED!!!
So I put the question to you . . . if you were famous, what would YOUR demands be?