Monday, 23 November 2009

NOT RIGHT . . .

You know what's weird? I signed up for NaBloPoMo and I didn't actually think I would find something to post about everyday. But somehow the universe worked in my favour and found me that (very) brief romance with the cute guy to neuroticize (is that a word? If not, I CLAIM it) about and also some weird Facebook encounters to talk about and therefore I've blogged through the month almost as easily as breathing.

(I wonder what the next mega eventful month will be. I had two this year - March and then November. Hmmm...)

ANYWAY, once again I have a Facebook anecdote for you, and one I am keen to get your opinion on, as it involves some basic Facebook friend etiquette.

Last Friday evening I was at a friend's house with some other girls for a girly night. This involved a girl we used to work with coming over to give us facials, manicures, massages, whatever our hearts desired (and our wallets could accommodate). I opted for a facial. That's irrelevant, mind. It was very nice though. My face as felt nearly as soft as a baby's bottom (one of the most WRONG expressions in the world, I'm sure you'll agree) since then. (Seriously. I compared it WITH a baby's bottom. No I didn't. I'm lying. Anyway...)

One of the girls informed me early on in the night that her mother's brother (her uncle surely?) had seen my picture on her page and liked the look of me. Is it wrong that this felt mildly creepy, considering that the reason I knew I liked Cute Guy from the Hallowe'en party was because I'd seen HIS picture on Facebook? Double standards, right? Well, I hold my hands up to that.

She told me about him and I immediately discounted him. Mainly because he was a divorcee with kids. Once again, that's me being all judgey but do you know something? I AM selfish, I will fully admit that, and I have so much of my own baggage (emotionally) that sometimes I'm amazed I'm not charged ridiculous amounts in excess fees everytime I go abroad. I told the girl this at the time.

This is also fairly irrelevant but I thought it was important to have some back story.

Later that night, as we lounged around waiting for our turn at being beautified, I popped onto Facebook to be confronted with a notification telling me I had two friend requests. Now I already KNEW that one of them was the creepy guy who I still haven't accepted or ignored and blocked. But the other one . . . I didn't recognise his name OR his picture. But I did notice we had the aforementioned girl as a mutual friend.

"Who's ------?" I asked her. She looked taken aback at the question.

"That's my mum's brother!" she exclaimed. ("Uncle?" I thought again) "Why?"

"He's just tried to add me as a friend on Facebook," I explained.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have friends on Facebook I haven't met. I am friends with lots of you guys. The difference is, in a lot of ways, I feel like I know you all. Sometimes better than a lot of people I know in real life, and I sometimes feel the reverse applies too.

I also have ended up friends with people I haven't met because we end up getting into a conversation while commenting on people's status updates. But in both these cases - the people I meet online, and the ones where we have mutual friends in common . . . we've actually had SOME SORT OF CONVERSATION AT SOME POINT.

This guy has never met me, knows nothing about me other than what he has read on my Facebook page or seen in my pictures . . . he didn't even have any sort of a MESSAGE alongside his friend request explaining who he WAS . . . I was creeped out, I'll have to admit.

I left the request sitting there next to the other one, kinda hoping it would go away.

Luckily, the next day it had. And I had a private message from him saying:


Sorry.

A few beers and and then I'm adding you in Facebook. Kinda weird of me, huh? Although, since you don't know me, that's sorta hard for you to judge.

Anyway, my apologies. Have fun.




So all's well that ends well. Right? I could breath a sigh of relief that the decision had been taken out of my hands.

Except today the girl emailed me to say that she'd been talking to him and he was really worried now that I thought he was a nutter. So now I feel guilty all over again.

Have any of you been in this situation? Is it just me that thinks it's a bit weird? Was it rude of me not to reply back to his message when I didn't even know him?

7 comments:

  1. Ok, I am putting my mom hat on right now. You were completely right. Here is an expression for you to live by: "If you antenna goes up, trust it". This is your inner self telling you something isn't right. You absolutely don't need to feel guilty about being cautious.

    Good move, and move on...

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  2. I am so proud of myself too, I only missed 2 r 3 days of nablopomo.

    Yeah I would be freaked out too, I would at least start messaging with the person before adding the, but I thought it was nice of him of sending you a message.
    Obviously he thinks you are hot and is keen to get to know you. Take it as a compliment.

    Dont freak too much hun, but I get it about the invasion of facebook.
    A beer with a guy could not hurt right?

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  3. Yikes! I'd politely respond about how it happens to everyone and to have a good eve and then ignore the request.

    Re NaBloPoMo= you're awesome.

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  4. I've had that happen before - people I don't know, and don't know how we're linked, adding me.

    I have just ignored it. Although it was easier for me because there was nobody telling them that I had found the request strange!

    I don't know what I would do in your situation, I'd feel rude not replying, or even replying but not adding as a friend. Perhaps reply, add as a friend, but with very restricted access to everything on your page?

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  5. I'd totally ignore him and not feel at all bad about it. But then tell my friend that I didn't think her uncle was creepy and weird.

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  6. My god, you really ARE on fire, aren't you?! lol :D

    Well I for one say you were right not to reply. If you reply out of politeness or guilt, then you'd just end up feeling obliged to go out for a drink or two, then it just gets a bit crazy and you end up feeling really creeped out.

    Maintain that the Uncle is not crazy, and make up a story that you make a point to only add people you know on facebook. Neither lies count because you are trying to spare feelings. And they're only little fibs anyway. :)

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  7. Goodness, you poor young things, all these things that go on with you guys on Facebook, I would have hated all of that when I was young.

    I would ignore and not feel bad, trust your instincts.

    I do have to admit I am glad I am an old married woman not dealing with all that stuff, yuck.

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