For months now - nay, YEARS - I have been trying unsuccessfully to diet.
I've never been good at dieting. I love my food waaayyyy too much. And unfortunately it ain't the healthy variety I love. It's chocolate. And crisps. And cheese - oooooh, cheese, how I love thee!!! Could you be my favourite??? :)
Dominos Veg-o-Roma pizza. With the garlic and herb dip, of course. And possibly a starter or two.
Mozzarella cubes from Di Maggios. Macaroni Cheese from the Sandwich Concept.
You get the drift.
On top of that, there is the fact that in the past year or so, I've started to drink way too much wine. It's really REALLY not good for me, and I know this. And I'm convinced this is the reason why my weight has shot up.
Now, I know I'm not fat. But I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I KNOW the weight I should be, and I know I've went beyond it and then some. And that if I don't do something about it soon, then I'm going to comfort eat to make myself feel better, end up feeling worse as I put MORE weight on, and it's going to be one big vicious cycle that gets harder and harder to escape from.
But I've been telling myself this for ages now, and doing precisely fuck all about it. Or starting a diet and lasting a day.
Funnily enough, it was the unexpected events of last weekend that finally gave me the impetus I needed. That guy telling me he couldn't see me again, after one date, was just the push I needed. Because I imagined the fact that, with my friend now living with his friend, there may be the chance I would have to see him again. Perhaps with the re-animated ex in tow. (Quelle horreur, right?)
And if I DO have to face him again, I WILL be looking my best.
So finally I had the motivation to get off my arse and DO something about my body and my health. I know that you're meant to do these things for YOURSELF and I can assure you that I AM. I haven't felt great about myself in a while. I want to get healthier, lose some weight, tone up, improve my skin, perk myself up a bit energy-wise. It's just that FINALLY I have something that has spurred me on. Which can only be a good thing.
So I'm now at day 5 without alcohol (the longest I've been without alcohol since January). I can't promise I won't have some this weekend, but I'm certainly not intending to go on a binge. I've had no chocolate, I've drank shitloads of green tea, tons of pineapple and apples, loads of fish and veg . . . I've cut down pretty significantly on the amount of carbs I'm having AND I've been exercising. Not excessive amounts because I have to build up gradually or I'll scare myself off, but when you add it to my usual four/five mile round trip walk to work and back everyday, I'm pretty sure it will make a bit of a difference.
So I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. For the moment, my willpower is staying on track . . . despite the fact that my Aunt Rose decided to pop along for her monthly visit on Tuesday night and was very demanding re: the need for chocolate. I may not have been a good hostess to her but, hey, I never actually ask her to come!
But anyway . . . the point of this whole post is:
1) Wish me luck with keeping this going.
2) I WILL be skinnier by Christmas. (Positive affirmation and all that)
3) Swine Guy was good for SOMETHING at least. (We'll ignore the other good things - cute, good kisser . . . and remember he's ultimately an ASSHAT.)