A random (and, admittedly, rather odd) conversation which took place earlier . . .
GUY No 1: I hate him. I REALLY hate him. I'd like to kill him with a spear of asparagus . . . because that would take a REALLY long time.
ME: (skeptically) How would you manage to kill him with asparagus?
GUY No 1: Oh I'd work SOMETHING out, believe me.
GUY No 2: What will you do to the NEXT guy you hate? Attack him with a dandelion stalk???
And people think I'M odd . . .