I need sleep but its not happening. My mind won't stop working, I can't switch it off.
I essentially got twenty minutes of uninterrupted sleep last night. Some fitful other stints of sleep but not enough to actually keep me fully functioning today. Tonight I came home, had dinner, decided that enough was enough - I would have to go to bed early. Put on my pjs, got in my bed at half eight. TV on quietly because I was not remotely sleepy. But of course, sleep wouldn't come. I tossed and turned for two and a half hours, occasionally venturing onto facebook via my phone because trying to sleep??? Oh so very boring. Eventually at eleven pm, I had to admit defeat. It's now 1.20 am, and I'm still wide awake, but tired, all at the same time.
I wish I could work out how to stop my brain from overthinking everything. The inability to sleep seems to be a symptom of this depression I currently seem to be suffering from. The inability to switch off obviously relates to my problems with other people, and how I can't figure out what is going on and why they treat me the way they do.
I have to try and sleep again now but I know it's not going to come easily. I know I'm going to be trying to void all the thoughts in my mind, or count sheep as a distraction, and all I'm going to be able to think about is if someone is going to stick to their word, the text they sent me tonight. If I should push it, if I should back off, if I should simply give up and call it a day and cut my losses. I don't want to. But the lack of sleep is making me feel slightly crazy. More emotional, more highly strung. And now n top of everything else, I'm stressing about the fact I can't sleep! Which makes it even HARDER to do so!!!
It's a Catch-22 situation alright.
Please give me all the positive thoughts you can spare. That I can get a normal (for me!) sleeping pattern going again, and that I can get the other stuff resolved too. I'd really appreciate it.
And I promise to try and be a bit more upbeat in my next post. Right now, I blame the fatigue...