Thursday, 11 June 2009


I'm rarely searched at airport security - for some reason, I rarely make the machine bleep. I have NEVER had my handbag searched.

Yesterday, after a mad dash across London to make our flight (and actually, after all the panic, checking in early!) I had both myself AND my bag searched. Fun!

After the woman frisking me got annoyed at me for not understanding that "take a step to the side" actually meant "spread your legs" (why don't they just say what they bloody well mean???) I turned around to see a dude holding my bag. "Sorry, I have to search this," he said. I immediately thought they had seen something dodgy going through the scanning machine thingummy (yep, that's the "technical" term) but he assured me it was simply a random check. And then proceeded to pull every item so neatly crammed into my tiny bag out of it. (I had spent about ten minutes making it all fit earlier that day. Great.)

As he searched my bag, he was trying to make conversation with me. I'm not sure if it was because he felt awkward about searching my bag, was just trying to be friendly, or thought I could be dangerous. Or all three. Anyway, I was distracted - as you tend to be when someone else is rummaging through your bag and taking all your stuff out so its displayed to everyone around you.

Apparently I was all clear so he started to pack everything back into the bag. Haphazardly. So it wouldn't close anymore. Grrr. "If it's any consolation," he said in closing, jokingly (I think!), "We only search the nice looking bags."

And of course, I couldn't stop the parting shot. "So was I searched because they only search the nice looking bodies?" I blurted before I could help myself.

Luckily he just laughed.

And probably thought I was either mental, deluded or in possession of an enormous ego.

But at least I caught my flight I suppose . . .


  1. It could have been worse. You could have been at Gatwick.

    God how I hate that airport.

  2. THe SAME THING happened to my friend Jessica! Apparently, they're "required" to search people every so often, and my friend Jessica looked "easy" because she only had her laptop. How's THAT for making you feel safe in an airport! They only check the "easy" people!

  3. Oh, did I not mention? It WAS Gatwick... :)

  4. Argh, the Gatwick security nazis doing what they do best!

    Last time I flew through Gatwick I got shouted at for not turning my laptop on for them.

  5. Hey, maybe airport security dude was making conversation, and laughed at the end, because he WAS TOTALLY HITTING ON YOU!

  6. It's a genetic thing. I was flying to Halifax one day and I got "randomly searched".

    My father, flying to Florida the SAME DAY, got "randomly searched", as well.

    Hmph. Random, my a$$.

  7. me & my oh were randonly searched in New Zealand when I'd arrived from Aus + were asked about a zillion weird questions. Finally they let is in....apparetly because we were backpackers and we'd been all round asia we fitted the bill of being drug runners....pretty scary though as we were convinced at one point they were going to turn us away

    but why the hell can't you take a bottle of water on the plane with you?? Whats that all about?

  8. haha awesome response on your part!

  9. Haha I wish I'd seen that (the mouthing off, not the actual searching--my heart goes out to you on the whole "messed up the perfection of the bag" thing) when I was flying this weekend--it would have made the airport more enjoyable!

  10. Airport security is a great job for a guy or gal that loves to rub others as much as they want...and if things are slow, they can always rub and frisk themselves...hehehe...


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