Monday, 23 February 2009

STATE OF MIND . . .

The last couple of days, I have felt like a bit of an emotional wreck.

Yesterday morning for example, I found a bunch of sweet texts from my ex on my old phone . . . and cried. Despite the fact the relationship was over a year ago.

Everytime I've been on my own, I've felt completely abandoned. This is coming from the person who usually prefers her own company to the company of others. I've been hopping from one website to the next trying to find a friend to talk to.

But then I don't really feel like I can talk about it.

COS I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.

I mean, you can't really sit down and say to someone "I feel a bit, well, OFF, but I don't really know WHAT I'm feeling. And I DEFINITELY don't know WHY." Well, I personally can't. I always feel a bit dumb doing so. And feeling dumb on top of everything else isn't going to help my state of mind.

Instead I'm putting a brave face on it all again, pretending to be happy when I'm not entirely sure why I SHOULDN'T be happy. It's not like I have a crappy life. I really LIKE my life most of the time, the goods DO tend to outweigh the bad.

So why is it the past few days I've felt like I'm falling apart?

I guess only the next few days will tell if this is an ongoing problem, or whether it is just me coming all too close to my next monthly visit from Aunty Rose.

In the meantime, I'll just slowly go mad . . .

17 comments:

  1. I feel like that all the time! I am glad to know someone else feels that way to.

    In my head its bc I am in a transitory state in my life. I graduated, I have a job, I have friends, but I still feel like I am missing something. I am mostly GREAT with my single status, I get to travel and do cool things.

    And somedays I am a mess and feel like I have accomplished nothing and hate my life. I dont know what it is.

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  2. I'm sorry to read you're feeling down..you know I always feel like that and you're such a bright girl that..well, I hate the fact that you're feeling miserable.
    Perhaps, instead of "one of those days" you're going through "one of those weeks" ? I don't know if it's Aunt Rosie or not, I guess we'll know in a couple of days...meanwhile..feel free to talk (or not) about it, you know where to find me (I know intercontinental, virtual things are not the same than tangible friends) but..this is all I can offer.

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  3. Life is really very reluctant to do so. Somethings has happened, somethings have passed. We can only forget to put the pain in the back, painful struggle to continue to move forward. God bless us. Amen.

    http://eyesinkaleidoscope.blogspot.com/
    http://fymtyh.blogspot.com/

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  4. I know exactly what you feel like. I always get like that when my "Aunty Rose" is coming. Trust me, you'll bounce back.

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  5. I'm sorry you're having a bad set of days...

    In all honesty, as independent as we may say we are, we always need somebody by our side. And by that not only am I talking about a guy, but friends also come handy!!

    Don't try to work things on your own, sometimes an outsider view is very helpful!!

    The best of lucks!

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  6. Sometimes it's just like that. I mean, sometimes it's PMS, but sometimes it's just a pit of despair that opens up from out of nowhere. Sorry you're having a hard time. I hope it passes soon. And in the meantime, let yourself wallow.

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  7. Its winter depression hon, February can be a bitch.

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  8. Wow, so glad I'm not the only one who gets like that! And you can you know, sometimes it helps to have someone who knows you well pointing things out to you - or just cheering you up...

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  9. I was feeling a bit like this at the weekend. Just general meh-ness. I had a big old talk/rant/moan to Cupcake Queen though and in the course of it, it just kind of came out what was bothering me.

    Hope you work it out

    CP x

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  11. It must be something with the earthly rotation or maybe global warming or maybe we are all PMS'ing together...I've been down in the dumps myself. If things get too bad, we can all drink the Kool-Aid together! :) Totally just kidding. I am not mocking suicide in any way....just attempting to make you laugh and possibly feel better for 2 seconds...

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  13. Sorry bout the massive duplication of my comment...I know it wasn't that great to start with...

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  14. oh dont go mad hunny :( that isnt pretty! It could just be due to the monthly visit, I get the same over the smallest thing. If you need a natter sometime, give me a shout im usually about xx

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  15. This usually happens to me around the full moon! Im wierd, i know...

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  16. I think it is ok to talk to a friend and just say, hey, feeling down and i'm not sure why. during the course of conversation, often times you discover what's really bothering you. and if not, well at least you got to vent. it's better than keeping it inside.

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  17. I sooo know what you mean (see my two depressing emo posts this month ha ha). Hopefully it'll pass soon lovely ;)

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