Friday, 31 October 2008

QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR HOW TO PROVE SOMEONE ISN'T LISTENING TO YOU . . .)

My flatmate: Why are you walking about holding a razor?

Me: (sarcastically) : Cos I'm gonna slit my wrists.

My flatmate: Oh you should use some of my new shaving gel, it smells great.



Anyway, off to a party now! Have a fab night everyone!

Thursday, 30 October 2008

CRUSHED . . .




I've realised recently, much to my own amazement, that I don't have a crush on anyone right now.

It's very weird. Insanely so. It seems I've always had at least a mild obsession with ONE guy over the years since I discovered boys. Occasionally I've juggled two or three or more crushes all at once, with varying intensities. I've had those immediate "fuck, he is HOT!" instant attractions; or the slow-burning ones when I perhaps had no attraction at first and then it grew. I've had both at once - for different guys, obviously.

I actually thought I couldn't really FUNCTION without liking SOMEONE. Like, it was a hobby or something, something to do, to obsess about. Like in school, planning my routes from one class to another so I could see the guy I liked at that point, detailing any encounters in my diary like a stalker. Or in uni, trying to summon up the courage to make conversation with the guy I liked then in the library. And ending up blabbering and stammering some rubbish like a total loser. Feeling like it wasn't even worth being at school/uni/the office on the day the guy I liked chose to be off. All that shit. Like school or uni or whatever wasn't actually for doing schoolwork - it was for me to eye up all the guys, choose my favourites and stalk them determinedly . . . while knowing deep down it was never going to happen.

The thing is, having a crush can be so bloody DRAINING. The highs (when he notices you, or speaks to you) are fantastic but the lows (when he doesn't seem to notice you're alive, when you find out he's actually seeing someone/a bastard/has some sort of kinky fetish or disappointing character flaw) are agonising. I have lost count the amount of time I have spent crying over guys I like. And this wasn't just when I was younger. I'd still been doing the same thing until recently.

But right now, I'm apparently crush-less. Which should be a good thing. I have time to focus on other stuff - my work, my family and my friends, my writing (hopefully!), finding new music I like, catching up on all the tv programmes I was waiting to come out on dvd before I watched and now have dvds piling up unwatched . . . It's like I'm finally free.

Yet weirdly I kinda miss NOT having a crush. I don't miss the lows, that's for sure, but I miss the highs. I wonder who my next crush will be. Perhaps it will be someone I already know, another one I didn't expect to go that way. I suppose I can only wait and see . . .

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

SO I'M DRUNK . . .

I know I seemed all healthy yesterday and shit but I did say I was all socially booked up for the next few days, so you KNOW I was out getting fucked really.

Actually, I'm not REALLY as drunk as I thought I would be. But anyway . . . I feel a TINY bit pissed . . . and feeling generally just a little bit depressed and sad. I don't really know why, but I DO know it's guy-related. I guess the fact they have no realisation of when to stop. How am I meant to react??? Only way I can seem to handle it at all is to just block them out mentally.

Is that immature?

Possibly.

But HOW THE HELL ELSE AM I MEANT TO REACT???

I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, I tried to help out . . . I MISSED being friends with them and they're not a bad person so I wanted to try and make an effort and see if we could actually BE friends again. I thought it was actually working. So why is it that suddenly the newly rediscovered friendship seems to be a one way street on my part???

Seriously, how else??? I am there for them when they need me, try to cheer them up, whatever . . . and the second they are "okay" again, they just drop me??? Suddenly I'm no good for an email unless they're bored, a text unless they're needy. . . I know I've touched on this before but in the time since I came back from Fuerte it's become all the more obvious. Clearly I thought someone was trying to be my friend but now I just suspect that all along they were just using me until someone better came along. And that makes me feel like utter crap.

Really it's the story of my life. So why do people continue to surprise me???

Just wondering . . .

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

ON FITNESS, CONFUSION, AND . . . TRUST ISSUES???

Just back my run. MAN, am I unfit!!!

We managed nearly half an hour but some of it was hardcore walking rather than running due to sheer exhaustion plus the fact the wind was so icy that it was taking our breath away the minute we opened our mouths. We always managed to keep our heartrate up though so I suppose that's a start. I know I'll be sore in the morning but I'm easing myself in gently as I'm booked pretty much solid socially for the next four days. Seriously, it's like all I have to do is decide I am on a health kick for my social life to suddenly majorly perk up. I have about five different invitations just over Friday and Saturday all of a sudden and no way to fit them all in. But I'll do my best to try - after all, perhaps my perfect guy might be at one of them. That's the beauty of life . . . you don't know what's around the corner!

All the same, I need to keep up the fitness at least this week, and can bring in the healthy eating in a major way next week. Last night I discovered they have this on youtube. Do you have any idea how much this discovery is going to help my health and fitness regime??? If I'm already on the laptop anyway (a fairly obvious statement since I'm online so damn much), it will be easy for me to just open a new internet window, stick the various parts of this on and do it. So much less hassle than loading up a dvd. Plus I did it yesterday and really felt it working. Anyway, I'm going to try and keep it up as much as possible, do the running a couple of days a week and see what else I can throw into the mix. We'll just have to see what happens . . .

**********************************************************

Yesterday I got an email from someone called Moses. I was very excited (naturally!) and sent an email to my friend to let her know. "The highlight of my day has arrived already. Moses has just emailed me! How can I better that???"

Her response? "Did he tell you about his plans to build an ark?"

I knew that wasn't quite right, but it took me a couple of seconds to add two and two and come up with four in my head (usually my mental arithmetic isn't THAT bad, but it was early morning, give me a break!) - "No," I replied. "Because that was NOAH."

I can certainly understand the mix-up though . . .

**********************************************************
Here's something I've been wondering about . . .

If someone repeatedly slags off other people to you . . . does that mean you can't trust them to not be doing exactly the same thing elsewhere? Taking your own weak traits and tearing you apart to amuse and/or reassure someone else?

I sometimes can't help but wonder how many of the lowest points I've experienced in front of someone have been relayed to someone else to get a laugh at my expense; how many of my character flaws have been held under the microscope to provide an anecdote of just how awful I am.

I know I sound a bit vague here; I can't be much else. I'm just thinking. My mind goes off on tangents sometimes and I just can't seem to get it to return to normal. I think ultimately the question is "how well can you really know a person?"

Because sometimes I don't feel like I know ANYONE anymore. Or anyTHING . . .

**********************************************************

Apologies. I'm just feeling tired. Emotional. Fucked up in the head.

I think I need my bed. :(

CHEER-ME-UP-TUESDAY - THE "FUCK ME, IT'S FREEZING!" EDITION . . .

So, it's Tuesday . . . what do I have for you today??? Hmm, let's see . . .

Go here for clip 1 . . .

Better than the ACTUAL high school musical??? Well I think so . . .

And I'm sure we have all seen this one before, but I hadn't seen it in ages so I figured I'd just stick it on . . .



Anyway, that's all for now. I'll be back later as that was me just ensuring I at least TRIED to install some cheer into your Tuesday. I certainly needed some myself. Back later . . . as shortly I am . . . WAIT FOR IT!!! . . . going for a run!!!

I know, stranger things have happened, right??? Just not to me, lol!

Monday, 27 October 2008

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED . . .

Okay, here it is - drum roll please!!! - the answers to the questions you asked.


Jessica Maria asked - “Have you ever travelled to the States before?”
I have never been to the U.S. - I'll hopefully get around to it one day. When I was working for the criminal she lead me to believe that I might get to go to America, but funnily enough that never happened. I have always wanted to go though, ever since I was a kid, although I'm sure that it won't be quite like I thought. I especially always wanted to go to California. Well, LIVE there ideally. I blame Sweet Valley High and Sunset Beach for this. I actually wrote a post about this during the last blog swap. One day, I'll hit the States and you all won't know what hit you, lol!



Chele asked - “What's the meanest thing you ever done to someone else? As a kid or adult."
I probably have done tons of mean things, but I guess I mentally block them out. I've hurt people, sure, but it's never been completely intentional. Like accidentally getting someone I really cared about as a friend into trouble. It wasn't intended, I was just thoughtless and didn't think of the possible consquences of my actions. I apologised but I guess it was too little too late. And as a result, he'll never speak to me again, storms past me without even looking at me, and makes sarky comments about me to other people. I know I deserve it; doesn't mean it hurts any less though.

Other than that, I suppose the most DELIBERATELY mean thing I did was to my first boyfriend. I wanted to break up with him but didn't really have the courage to do it, I didn't really know what to do. I ended up just being really horrible to him, walking off places without him, not answering his phone calls, etc, until he got the hint and provided me with the opening to break it off. It made me feel less guilty, somehow, I guess. Karma is a bitch though, since I've just kept getting kicked in the teeth in every relationship I've had since.

Chele also wanted me to post more pics of me doing "active things" (like the crazy golf pic from my holiday). Unfortunately I'm useless at sport. So here's my attempts at gymnastics . . .

This is part of my "A crab in every country" campaign (not as bad as it sounds, lol). The pic above is from my friend A's garden in Northern Ireland . . .

. . . and this one was taken in the middle of a roundabout in the early hours of the morning in Torrevieja, Spain (on the hen week, unsurprisingly!)

Weirdly enough, I haven't been able to manage to hold one long enough to get a photo in my homeland yet - I have tried in my own flat, in the grounds of a hotel at the wedding I was at in May, and also once on the floor of the office. All unsuccessfully. It may have something to do with the lack of slopes??? Who knows . . .


Cayman's Girl asked - “If you could have anything but only one thing, what would it be?”
Great question. And quite hard too!!! There's many things I DO want - money, success, LOVE . . . But ultimately the thing I would like the most is to be happy. I'm not a terribly happy person, I guess - I'm upset or stressed more than I'm happy and content. So if I could just be HAPPY . . . I guess I would be, well, HAPPIER.


Kimberlie asked - “Well I'm always curious how people like their cereal – crunchy or soggy?”
It depends on the cereal actually. With Frosties, Bran Flakes or Special K, it has to be crunchy so I'm spooning it in my mouth virtually the second I have poured the milk and put it away. But with Rice Krispies and Cornflakes . . . soggy all the way. I'm aware this will probably sound gross but I like to leave them for at least 20 minutes before I eat them! So yummy . . .

Agent Elle asked - “What was your most embarrassing moment?”
I have done MANY embarrassing things in my time. Dropped and smashed many glasses on nights out, fallen over at inopportune times, walked into a post in full view of my office . . .

But the one which sticks most acutely in my head was when I was in Gran Canaria two and a half years ago. I was by myself as well, which makes matters worse. It's harder to laugh something off when you're alone. Anyway, I was walking down to the beach in Playa de l'Ingles and I was wearing those bikini bottoms that tie and untie at the sides - underneath my tiny little skirt that I only ever wear on holiday as it is positively indecent. Suddenly I felt a bit of a draught . . . er, down below. I realised my bikini bottom had untied itself on one side. It didn't look like anyone was really watching so I put my beach bag and beach mat down and leant down to try and re-tie the strings. Easier said than done since I didn't want to flash my poontang at random strangers.

Unfortunately I was receiving slightly more attention than I realised as four or five middle aged Spanish men appeared at my side, sleazily offering their "help" with my situation. By this time, other people were looking, I was mortified and aware I still hadn't managed to retie my strings. I ended up retying them around my leg as a temporary solution and running away, accompanied by the catcalls of my so-called heroes. Mortifying. I also probably flashed some people my bits in the process as the wind suddenly started up at that point.


Ashley asked - “What keeps you blogging? What do you like about it and what do you dislike about it? How would you describe your personal style?"
I like blogging because I consider it a form of therapy for me. It helps me to vent my frustrations and to get a different unbiased perspective from the people who read my posts. I also like sharing the things that happen to me which I think are strange or funny or just random. I think in a lot of ways blogging has made me more observant of the things going on around me, which I guess ultimately can only help my writing.

What I DON'T like about it? Not much really. I guess the main thing is I know that some people I know are reading. Most of the time this doesn't bother me but sometimes I DO feel like I have to censor myself a little. I guess what that happens with not blogging anonymously, but I TRIED that and it didn't really work out for me. It's not like it's a secret that I'm screwed up!

As for my personal style? I'm really not sure. I guess I'm more conversational than anything else. I suppose, thinking about it, I kinda treat my blog as if it's a person. Poor blog . . .


Elle asked - “What is the worst job you ever had?”
I think that would have to be my one and only part-time job, where I worked in a bakers and coffee shop called Aulds, aged 18. It was meant to help supplement my money at uni, but considering I was getting paid a mere two pounds forty an hour (minimum wage hadn't been introduced at this point) I was making about twenty pounds a weekend. Not great really. On top of that, the job sucked. I had an HIDEOUS uniform, we didn't get any perks (we couldn't even take leftover cakes home at the end of the day!) and handling dirty dishes and cleaning tables was just NOT for me. I lasted about four months then one day I just started crying at the idea of having to go in. I couldn't stay there any longer. I ended up handing in my notice that day. It was such a weight off my mind!
Anyway, that's all folks. Thanks for your questions. That was fun! :)

Sunday, 26 October 2008

JUST SOME RANDOM STUFF . . .

Not got much to say today, just been having a lovely lazy weekend, which has been great as frankly the weather has just been so horrid I haven't wanted to leave the house. Let's hope it gets a bit better for tomorrow, since I WILL actually have to leave the house then.

I've been a bit annoyed (I know you're like "what the fuck? you??? annoyed? surely not?" - sarcasm! - but I really am!) recently due to feeling a bit used. Why is it people think they can text or email or whatever when they want something, whether it's to vent or complain or look for some sort of comfort . . . but the minute they're okay (or found someone else perhaps) they just drop me? (Again.) So I contact them and they just ignore me. Niiiicccceee. Makes me feel like I'm worth precisely fuck all. So why did I even bother helping them in the first place??? Who knows. It's just actually pretty damn hurtful.

Phew. Rant over. I feel slightly better for having vented myself now. Still hurt, obviously, but like I've got something off my chest.


********************************

Onto other things. I bought UGG boots online last night. Something I never really intended to do, I don't actually like the LOOK of them all that much, but my sis has a pair and they look good on her so I thought, "Bugger it, I'll just buy them". And I found them for only seventy three quid here so I thought, yeah, why not. They'll keep my feet warm and, hopefully, a bit drier than my ballet pumps do. :)

********************************

If you want a laugh, go to this post at At Least I'm Skinny. Basically she lists seven stupid things she has done in her life, but I could hardly get past number one as I was laughing so hard at it.

********************************

I also wanted to highlight two causes that friends of mine are involved in, as I keep meaning to and keep forgetting.

Firstly the charity DebRA, which is looking for a cure for the skin condition Epidermolysis Bullosa - this is "a genetic condition where the skin breaks at the slightest touch, causing painful, open blisters and wounds. EB can mean a life of extreme pain, disability and, at its worst it is fatal in infancy. People with severe EB are likely to contract a fatal skin cancer". . My friend's son is suffering from a (thankfully) fairly mild form of this illness and she is doing all she can to try and raise money for research into a cure for the skin condition. Her own fundraising website can be found here.

And the second cause is Movember, where men grow moustaches for the month of November and are sponsored to do so, in order to raise money for men's health awareness, in particular prostrate cancer. A lot of blokes in my office are participating in this and it's bound to be a bit of a laugh, so why not encourage the men in YOUR life to take part in this???

********************************

Last but not least, remember today is your last chance to ask me any questions you want answered. Anything, no matter how silly or serious, is welcomed! You can leave them on this post or on the "question time" post from Thursday . . .

Saturday, 25 October 2008

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE . . .

Don't you just love looking at old photos from your past??? Man, does it bring back memories, and make you realise how old you are getting. Or perhaps that's just me.

Anyway, I was looking through my photos earlier and found the selection below . . . I just thought it might be fun to share them really! So here goes . . .



Me and my brother and sis (I'm the one in the yellow dress) - from the age my brother looks I'm thinking this was circa 1988. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is, as I think this was the day of my school trip to the Glasgow Garden Festival. I can't believe how tiny we all are - things change!!! (Even the door of the house, where my parents still live now, has changed colour now!)

Another one avec family (from the previous pic you can probably guess I'm the one on the right - and yes I AM a natural brunette!) on holiday one year. It looks like we're at a model village and me and my brother are proudly sporting our Pontin's Crocodile Club t-shirts!!!
This one is of me at my First Communion - probably the one and only time I'll have a white dress made for me!

Me and my sis in jail . . . er, I mean, at Blackpool Pleasure Beach as teenagers!


Just after my graduation from uni with my friend L. How unflattering graduation ceremony robes are!!! I suppose I should be relieved I didn't have to wear the hat!
Me with my friends D and S. This was 2002. A guy with a polaroid camera stopped us in Sauchiehall Street as we were on our way to The Garage, and offered to take pics of us for a quid each. We said yes, of course, possibly due to the alcohol we'd already consumed, and also probably since we had forgotten a camera.



Me at a friend's 21st party in 2003. I ended up snogging an 18 year old that night (a fact I am still getting slagged about to this day since I was 23) and I also lost my phone, which I was devastated about.



This was me at out for my friend D's 25th birthday in 2005. I can't remember where we went but I DO remember I didn't last all that long. Damn alcohol!!!

This is me and my gran (the one who died earlier this year) at our family's Christmas 2006 celebrations - I think it's the last picture I have of me and her together.
This was when we went out for mother's day in 2007. I can't remember the name of the restaurant we were in, but this is me and my mum. It kinda looks like I'm just sitting next to a life sized picture of her though, doesn't it???
And this is me with my siblings - looking slightly older than we did in the first picture, right???
Anyway, that's me done sharing now!!!

TIME FOR A MUSICAL BREAK!!!

Man, it's a HORRIBLE day outside. The wind just won't quit and it's effin' LOUD. Blurgh. On the upside, I have absolutely no plans to leave the house today. Possibly not even any plans to leave my BED. Although I suppose I WILL probably have to pee soon. (Too much information? Soz!)

Since my inspiration is at an all-time low (well, strictly speaking I DO have lots of ideas but not much energy to put them into a post right now), I thought I would take the lazy way out and post some music videos. My theme is "songs I REALLY need to download but have been too lazy to quite get around to it yet". Good theme, huh??? :)

So here is my first choice. I think this could be one of the most perfect pop/r&b songs ever, I just love the overall catchiness of it, and I just think the production on it is amazing. Although the video DOES scare me more than a little . . .




This next one is a song that's been around for a couple of years now, but I keep forgetting to download it. Probably because it's a dance tune and I like to pretend I hate ALL dance songs. Not strictly true though . . . Also, the video is just fantastic.



And now, here's a REALLY old one, not sure why I keep forgetting about this one, since I've loved it for close to 20 years now. I always remember it was playing on the radio when my dad was driving me and my mum to the airport so we could go to Paris in 1991. Weird the things you remember, right?



This is a song from a band I saw kinda by accident about a year ago when a friend of mine was supporting them in Glasgow. I'd never heard of them before, but I do love this song . . .



This song, on the other hand, is one from a Surf advert of all things, but it's a really nice little song . . .



And here is the most recent song on my "need to download" list - I only actually heard it for the first time last night, but I have to admit I really like it. Don't judge me . . .



So that's it - hope you enjoyed!!! Now I really should get out of bed given that it's nearly 1pm and I have done precisely nothing - not that I was ever intending to do much.

Thanks to those who submitted questions to me - the floor is still open though! I'm going to try and answer them on Monday, so you've still got a bit of time to drop me a question if you so desire. And if you can't be bothered clicking on the link to the other post, you can always leave it as a comment on this one.

Friday, 24 October 2008

MY VERY UP-TO-DATE LIST OF HATES . . .

WET FEET

It's rained a ridiculous amount since I got back from Fuerteventura. Which is immensely annoying. I can handle getting rained on, POURED on even. I don't mind wet hair (unless I've spent ages blowdrying and straightening it, the occasions of which are few and far between these days), can tolerate wet clothes, but wet feet? I loathe that.

And what always seems to be the first thing to get wet? You guessed it, my feet! Even when it's not raining they end up wet, because the GROUND is always wet and the water seeps in. This is particularly annoying when I'm on my WAY somewhere, say work, for example, and have to sit with cold wet feet all day. It puts me in such a bad mood. And I bet you thought I was ALWAYS a merry ray of sunshine, right? Right????


HANGOVERS

I seem to be back on the drink and hitting it hard. This is less a sign I'm out too much than it is a sign of me feeling a bit down, I reckon. But hey, I can cope with that. It's the way I feel the next day that sucks. I hate the disgusting taste in your mouth, the sick feeling, the builders who take up residence inside your head and start hammering, and the fact that it even hurts to look at my computer screen for the first few hours of work. My hangovers have DEFINITELY taken a turn for the worse since I turned 29. And I'm not handling it well. The only guaranteed solution seems to be to give up alcohol - and the idea of not drinking wine anymore??? Fucking TERRIFYING . . .


ONE OF MY FLATMATES

Not the one I blogged about previously, we actually sort of got those issues sorted out with her. Another one. She has gradually taken over half the communal space as her own and got in our way in the process. In our hallway, she has installed both her bicycle, AND a row of shelves on which she stores her shoes, her umbrella, writing paper and, at one point, an open can of Diet Coke for several days. We're at constant risk of falling over it or stubbing our toes on it.

In addition, there is a cupboard at the end of the hall where she stores what appears to be half her stuff. I USED to store loads of my overflow stuff in this cupboard but one day my landlord cleared it all out, wanting to use it for "practical storage", eg irons, hoovers, ironing boards, mop and bucket, that sort of stuff. She has now practically employed it as a second bedroom.

And we also suspect she has moved her loud, hairy boyfriend in. Who seems to be in our shower when we need it, standing outside my bedroom door talking loudly when I'm trying to sleep, using our toilet paper without buying any replacement paper (and we're talking COPIOUS amounts), and (the cardinal sin in a girls only flat) LEAVING THE TOILET SEAT UP!!! Oh and on top of that, they also will quite often use our kitchen rather than the other one she's meant to use, dirty the dishes and not clean them and leave their junk lying around.

One day one of us is going to end up exploding about it. Guaranteed . . .


BOYS

Obviously not ALL boys, but in general anyone who is annoying me right now IS a boy so I'm going to tar you all (albeit temporarily) with the same brush. I can't even explain why exactly, there are so many annoying me in so many different ways right now, and in different places. Oh well!!! Hopefully I'll stop taking my bad mood out on you all soon and concentrate it on those who actually DESERVE my wrath!


FEELING FAT

I mentioned the other day that I had put on another couple of pounds, which I am freaking out about. As I used to be bigger and lost a shitload of weight seven years ago, I'm feeling like I'm losing control on my eating now and heading back to where I used to be. It's a scary feeling, but I do realise that I am in control of what I eat and it's up to me to make a change. So I'm just gonna have to do it. Willpower, don't fail me now. Ie. actually EXIST for a change!!!


BEING SET UP

I feel like this week people keep trying to set me up with guys. It's starting to grate on my nerves a little. You notice how it's always people in couples that seem to want to do this??? It's like they're implying that as a single, you're not good enough. It makes me feel very Bridget Jones, and I don't LIKE feeling that way. Like I've said before, I'm happy being single. I don't miss being in a relationship as such, if I miss anything it's being in a PARTICULAR relationship so I'm clearly not quite ready to move on yet. Hopefully I will be one day, but while I don't mind the idea of meeting someone eventually who is friends of a friend or whatever, the idea of an actual set-up situation gives me chills of horror. Seriously. I only ever went on a set-up thing once and that was nearly ten years ago now, and I was SHITTING myself. It worked out and all but man, I couldn't put myself through that again.

And the idea that people I know, that claim to like or love me or whatever, want to put me through that hell, simply terrifies me!!!



What are you hating right now???

And remember, if you have any questions you want to ask me (or just want to make me feel a bit more popular), pop by yesterday's post and leave a comment. Pretty please??? ;)

Thursday, 23 October 2008

QUESTION TIME . . .

So . . . here's the deal.

I've kinda got things to do later so not sure if I'll definitely be around. And because my damn reader kept breaking last night I have tons of blogs to catch up with too, which I hate. And I'm feeling kinda uninspired due to my current general funk.

So I thought why don't I just open the floor to you? Any questions you want to ask me? I feel like I've probably covered loads of things already, but perhaps someone can inspire me . . .

Don't be shy!!! ;)

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

A DECIDEDLY WEIRD DAY . . .

. . . and I can't really explain why.

I've been feeling a bit out of sorts since I returned from my holiday. I guess because I felt like when I came back things would be different. And generally they haven't been. That's kinda depressing.

Like . . . have you ever not expected something to happen at all, and then been told it would? And felt really happy about it precisely because you HADN'T expected it, and finally felt like . . . . I don't know . . . someone finally UNDERSTOOD? Only to be disappointed when, inevitably, it doesn't. I can't really go further into it than that, and it wasn't even a big thing in the grand scheme of things I guess. But the point is, it was important to ME, and I just ended up feeling so let down. Because it wouldn't even have crossed my mind in the first place. I was resigned to it, and then I got my hopes up. But whatever.

Anyway, then I got freaked out on the subway home. One of the stations was closed (due to a power cut I think) but we stopped in it anyway. It was pitch black. Silent. One girl shouted to her friend "Caitlin, Caitlin, it's like that film 'Creep'".



Yeah, thanks for that, Caitlin's friend. If the doors had opened at that point, I would probably have screamed. And then pushed her out of it.

What else? Oh, I feel fat, I seem to have put on a few more pounds during my holiday. And yet I can't seem to stop eating and my social life for the next few days is fairly hectic so I don't know how the heck I'm going to CONTROL my eating. The angry red dry patches on my neck, which had went away while I was on holiday, are now back with a vengeance, making me think once and for all it's stress-related. My mosquito bites are still itchy.

On top of all that, one of my flatmates just popped by my room to say she thought one of our annoying flatmates and her even MORE annoying boyfriend who is ALWAYS here, seemed to be in the shower together. We had a quick listen, and I'm not completely sure they weren't shagging in there, it kinda sounded like that. My ears feel violated and I'm frantically trying to erase the mental image. It REALLY isn't a pretty one . . .

Yep, real life has returned with a vengeance . . .

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only bright spot? The bargains I purchased online in my lunchbreak. Here and here. What do you think?

I'm definitely thinking purple is the new black . . .

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

HAIR-RAISING???

Here's a fascinating fact about myself. I've not been to a hairdresser since I was seventeen.

That's right, nearly twelve years. I don't like hairdressers. I'm not sure why. I rely on home hair-dye kits for my blondeness, and family members for haircuts.

I would hate to BE a hairdresser too. On my feet all day - blurgh. Probably having to inhale dodgy chemicals, and make inane conversation with customers. Man. sometimes I find it hard enough to talk to people I actually WANT to talk to.

And now here's another reason why I would hate to be a hairdresser. I just read this in the small ads of my magazine . . .

HAIRDRESSING ACCIDENT?
Don't suffer in silence - HairLawyers are the UK's first dedicated compensation service run by legal experts in hair injury.

It's got the obligatory freephone number, a website . . . I'm distressed by the whole thing, frankly. Suddenly ambulance-chasing has sprung into regular everyday life. It's invaded girl-world.

One of the reasons, I now remember, that I don't like going to the hairdressers, is because I RARELY like the results. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has left the salon struggling not to cry, after nodding and smiling through gritted teeth and saying "it's lovely', not wanting to offend. Fact is, more often than not, once I get home and style it myself, it's okay. But at the time, I am mortified to even go out in public . . . just to walk home!!! Man, I guess the whole hair area is RIPE for exploitation.

Imagine if HairLawyers takes off. You'll have desperate lawyers stationed outside every big salon, watching for someone with bad hair coming out and crying so they can swoop in and offer to "represent" them. They'll probably be going up to people who left the salon feeling confident and sexy and imply that they look crap, just to get more business.

I feel even MORE sorry for hairdressers now . . .

WHEN YOUR BATHROOM FREAKS YOU OUT . . .

I returned from my holiday to discover the bathroom I use in our flat had been appropriated by Satan and turned into his den.

You think I'm insane, right??? Okay, I'm exaggerating. But JUST A TAD.

You see, there were two light bulbs in our bathroom. Out of desperation, one had been replaced by a red lightbulb a while back. This didn't make a difference at the time. There was still a . . . well, NORMAL lightbulb.

But while I was away, the other lightbulb apparently broke.

The bathroom now has a very red, devilish glow.

It's EXTREMELY off putting.

I feel like I can hear Satan laugh at me every time I go in there to use the facilities. I don't want him watching me do my business. But it's his lair now, he can do what he likes!

In addition, if I look in the bathroom mirror, I look sort of possessed. My eyes look bright red. Which is weird because they look perfectly normal everywhere else.

There's an obvious solution to this. I know that. Buy a new lightbulb or two, replace the red one, then all will be better.

But the one GOOD thing about having Satan take over your bathroom? Despite the red eyes when I look in the mirror, my skin looks so much better . . .

Have I sold my soul without even realising it??? :)

(If that's the case, I expect my life is going to start getting better anytime soon. I'm waiting . . . )

Now for "Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday" . . . a clip from one of my favourite programmes . . .

Enjoy!!!

Sunday, 19 October 2008

THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE???

I mentioned the other day that, even though I am useless when it comes to knowing what's going on in the news, I do occasionally come across a story that I become obsessed with. It's happened again.

After I got back my holidays, my attention was caught by a headline on the internet, and then after reading the story linked to it, I started to devour all I could about it. It made me cry a bit, but I've not been able to stop thinking of it since. It's one of those cases where nothing is black and white, it's all grey areas - in my view anyway. But all I can't even imagine how I would feel if I was in the situation.

Read here to see what I'm talking about. Or try putting the term "Daniel James" into the news section of google.

I never really gave the whole idea of euthanasia much thought, to be perfectly honest. It crops up in the news every once in a while, I know. And I'm sure we covered it once or twice back at school. But it's always something I associated with the elderly or the terminally ill.

I didn't realise it was possible to go to a clinic and actually be assisted with the process of killing oneself. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. In some ways, I think it's good that people have somewhere to go if they feel their only option is to die - if, for example, they are suffering from a degenerative disease and will ultimately lose their quality of life. But it scares me too and I'm not sure why.

Daniel James has come under some criticism for deciding that his life was no longer worth living now that he was paralysed from the chest down. In among the sympathy for his parents and for his own situation, there have been implications that he took the cowardly way out. That so many people have suffered similar injuries to him and have carried on all the same.

But everyone is different. We can't really put ourselves in his position, we can't know what we ourselves would do in his situation. Whether we could soldier on bravely through it, or whether all we would want is to end it.

If he had committed suicide, on his own, there would not have been this sort of outcry, this public interest. And the boy DID try ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS to commit suicide. But apparently the nature of his paralysis meant the only way he would have been able to do it himself was by starving himself to death. To him, going to this clinic in Switzerland seemed like his only option.

I'm not defending his actions, I don't necessarily agree with what he did. But he must have been desperate to go to this extreme. And it's done now. Hopefully he has found peace.

Should his parents be prosecuted for going along with their son's wishes? I don't think so. Once again, it's one of those things where you can't possibly know what you would do yourself unless put in that situation. They loved their son. They knew he wanted to die. They didn't want him to suffer, they wanted to protect him. It's them I think I feel the most sorry for. Because no parent wants to outlive their child, but I believe wholeheartedly they did what they did out of love. I'm sure that they have suffered more than enough already and my heart goes out to them.

But like I said, it's all a bit of a grey area. For example, I personally don't believe in abortion - not to do with my Catholic upbringing, there's a lot of stuff I don't agree with there. It's my own PERSONAL belief. I don't force it on people because while I myself couldn't do it, I understand that some people may feel it's their only option. But I want to put it in this context - why is it legal for someone to decide to get rid of an unborn kid, a living foetus that is already growing but doesn't have a say in whether it lives or dies . . . while someone who CHOOSES to die, someone in full control of their mind, who knows what they want and has thought it through - isn't allowed to make that decision??? Just a thought.

What do YOU think? Should someone have the right to choose to die if they want to?

SUN = HAPPY PAULA, INSECT BITES = ITCHY PAULA . . .

Last Wednesday afternoon at a deserted bus stop in the coastal town of El Cotillo, Fuerteventura, Paula finally loses patience with the insects constantly landing on her and feasting on her flesh . . .

Paula: Right, THAT'S IT!!! I'm officially declaring war on ALL INSECTS!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!! If one more of you little . . . SHITS come near me, you are all going to die. No second chances!!!

(Paula's mum looks at her like she is crazy, but for a moment there is a brief silence as it seems that Paula's threat has finally got through to the irritating little beasts. Two seconds later, two more insects land on her leg).

Paula: Argh! What the . . . (realisation hits). Shit, they probably don't understand English. (looks at her mum). Any idea what the Spanish for all that was??? (She didn't).

True story.

Anyway, that little scene sums up the bad point of my holiday. I am covered in insect bites. You could practically play dot to dot on both my legs. I'm struggling not to scratch but I am so damn itchy I want to scream! Other than that, everything was fab. I love the Canary Islands as a tourist destination and Fuerteventura is one of my favourites. My tan is okay (I just wish I'd done a couple of sunbed sessions between Barcelona and Fuerte as my tan had mostly faded so it was kinda like I was starting from scratch), and I had a lovely relaxing time. I read eight and a half of my nine books so it was a good estimate (to be honest, I actually had to go and buy some English magazines halfway through the holiday to pace myself a bit, otherwise I think I'd have ran out), had some fabulous dinners out (if you are ever in Corralejo, I would thoroughly recommend Gibson's Restaurant and Tiffany's - both English restaurants which do amazing food . . . I know, I know, go to a Spanish island and find the English speakers, I'm such a philistine, etc etc. Oh well, I'm not going for the culture, I'm going for the sun!), and got to spend loads of time with one of my favourite people - my mum!

The weather was incredible too. It was raining when we got there last Saturday but even then the sun was out within a couple of hours. Because Fuerteventura is just off the western coast of Africa, you get very similar weather to that continent. In other words, pretty damn warm for the time of year. Such a change to Scotland, which has been freezing since I returned. I wish I could go back right now!

Anyway, here's some pictures from the holiday . . .


This is the view from my balcony. It wasn't the best view I have to admit, but the majority of hotels and apartment complexes in Fuerteventura aren't very high (I think it's due to planning regulations or something like that) so you rarely get a fabulous view. So we got the road, a water park, and a mountain of some sort. Still, the view did grow on me after a while!


This was taken from my sun lounger one day while the reps organised a game of water polo in the pool for the youngsters. I loved sitting down here, it was one of the few holidays I'd been on when you had no trouble getting a decent sun lounger either. It was always so warm down here, and there was always SOMETHING happening.


This was taken from the bell tower of a new shopping centre in Corralejo. Unfortunately the bells decided to start clanging the second we went up it, which was a pretty deafening experience. The island on the left of the picture is another Canary Island, that of Lanzarote (where I was last October). The island on the left is the uninhabited little island of Lobos (which I also visited last year. Sadly, we never made it over to either island this year). The massive lump on Lobos is half a volcano . . . the other half of it fell into the sea at some point.

This is a picture of me (of course!) sitting at the end of the pier in Corralejo after a failed attempt to go over to Lanzarote on the ferry (we didn't realise we would need our passports to do this as we never did in the past). That's Lobos behind me again. The magazine next to me is the free paper "The Fuerteventura Gazette". This particular issue had an interiew with a goat in it. Seriously . . .

The harbour at Corralejo. Probably a pretty boring picture actually . . .


One of the gorgeous beaches at El Cotillo, just around the coast from Corralejo. It has to be one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever been on. You'll just be glad I never accidentally caught any of the nudists in this picture . . .

El Cotillo again . . . just wanted to capture the desert type landscape away from the beach.




I can't remember the last time I played Crazy Golf . . .


The swimming pool in the hotel complex at night.

I had a great time, and am missing the place so much already. Sometimes I do think how nice it would be to move out there, but I think that will take a major lottery win first . . .

It's got me wondering though, where is everyone else's favourite tourist destination???

Saturday, 18 October 2008

"IT'S SIX AND HALF A DOZEN REALLY . . . "

So last week Angela from Angelaboration tagged me for a meme (and I've just discovered Katie tagged me too!), to state six random facts about myself. I didn't quite get around to doing it at the time, but here it is now . . .

1. I rarely have a clue what's going on in the news. It's ridiculous. I mean, I consider myself to be an educated person, yet I rarely pick up a newspaper, instead turning to celebrity magazines, and I hardly ever watch the news unless I can't be bothered changing the channel after one of my favourite programmes. I could tell you Jennifer Aniston's latest diet but I didn't actually even KNOW Saddam Hussein had been sentenced to death until approximately three days after he was dead!!! The main way I get my news fix is if a headline catches my eye when I'm logging into my yahoo email account BUT, if I DO see an interesting headline, I become obsessed with the story in question. So it's probably a GOOD thing I don't look at the news much!!!

2. I don't really like speaking on the phone. Which is a bit weird for a girl, I've always felt. As a kid, while all my friends would have hour long gossips at night on the phone, I just couldn't see the point. I'd run out of things to say, unable to tell people's real reactions to snippets of news without being able to see their expressions. I dry up in conversation easily at the best of times, with only a voice to play off I'm an absolute nightmare. Text messaging is another story, as is email - I can talk all I want but if I can't be bothered replying, it's much easier. And regular conversation, I'm all for THAT too. But telephone conversations??? I prefer to avoid them as much as possible . . .

3. I've had approximately fifteen jobs. And I'm talking full time jobs, not little bits of jobs to support myself through uni or whatever. Okay, a lot of those have been temporary positions, but most of them were at least several months long. My cv includes me working for John Lewis department store, directory enquiries, various universities in Glasgow, Scottish Power and many more. Oh, and it also included a stint of me working for a criminal. Long story . . .

4. I can't really trace my roots and this irritates me a little. Or maybe it's just I wish I had more interesting ones than I actually do. My surname is English, as far as I'm aware (that's from the one non-Catholic quarter of my family) and I ASSUME the remaining three quarters are Irish but that's a guess rather than anything else. I would love to be one of those people who had a really interesting heritage like "Oh yes, Paula's mum is half Italian and half Spanish and her dad is half Russian and half Serbian" (I bet I would be a lot more interesting LOOKING too if that was the case) but instead I appear to be pretty much 100% Scottish. Boring...

5. Speaking of being Scottish, here's a shameful secret. Despite living in Scotland for my entire 29 (eek!) years, and having visited tons of places in England over the years I have never been further North than Dundee. I've never even been to . . . LOCH NESS - gasp!!! I've also never been to any of the islands dotted around the coast. I also don't know if I have any particular desire to go. One of my friends is from Inverness, so I might get there eventually. For certain reasons (which will remain known only to myself!!!) I REALLY don't fancy Aberdeen though . . .

6. And while we're on the subject of travelling, between the ages of 11 and 25, I didn't set foot on a plane. My family didn't really go on holidays abroad and if we did they were coach tours. I didn't really mind as I'm not a great flier myself (if I had wings, that might be another story . . . ) and it was only when I went to the Costa del Sol with my mum and brother in 2005 that I started to fly again. I'm certainly catching up on 14 years of being a non-flier though as I've been on flights twice a year since for various reasons, and that's me just returned from my sixth return journey via air this year. Go me!!!

I'm not big on tagging people, but what the hell, I'm still on holiday mode and hopefully people will do it if they want. If you have already done it, apologies, but I'm sure you could come up with another six facts anyway if you wanted to. That's the beauty of this kinda thing isn't it??? The more random facts you can come up with the more fun it is . . .

1. LCT
2. Libby
3. Amy
4. Miss Em
5. Chele
6. Amanda Rae

So that's it. Anyway, I've gotta go finish (okay, START!) my unpacking - and if you thought I disliked PACKING, don't even get me started on UNpacking!!! I'm dire at it - like, so bad that when I went to pack for Fuerteventura, there was still stuff I hadn't unpacked from Barcelona (at the start of AUGUST!) in the case. Wow, that's a seventh fact for you right there. Oops. Anyway, I have some pics and stuff to upload so I'll tell you a bit more about my lovely holiday tomorrow. It SUCKS to be back . . .

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

CHEER-ME-UP TUESDAY - THE "ABSENT" EDITION

I may not be in the country right now, and I'm hopefully having a fabulous Tuesday right now (I'm writing this in advance though so can't say for definite) but I realise not everyone else might be. So let's get this thing started . . .



You know I love "Friends".

And then another silly little video courtesy of "The IT Crowd" . . .




Hope you enjoyed!!!

Friday, 10 October 2008

HOLI-DAY MINUS ONE DAY . . .



Today was an okay day once again. I got loads accomplished in the morning, went out for a nice lunch with a couple of my friends, and in the afternoon finally got some stuff sorted out workwise that's been bugging me for a while. So feeling quite good now, despite the fact I have still tons to do to get ready for my holibags.

Is taking nine books overkill??? Possibly. But probably not. Seriously, I go through them like lightning on holiday. And a couple of them are only small. I quite often plan what books I'm taking with me like it's a millitary operation. I know it's sad, but if I start to run out while on holiday I get panicky.

I still haven't completely decided what to take clothes wise either. You see, generally we go half board but this time we're going self catering. Which is kinda a relief to be honest as generally I don't really like the buffets they tend to put on in half board places. But my mum isn't a big eating-out person, so we will probably stay in a lot, and therefore I won't need many dressy clothes. But I LIKE to dress up on holiday. I don't know about you but I'm far more likely to wear a dress, short skirt or hotpants than I am abroad than I am at any other time. Even in the summer in Scotland, I'm more likely to stick to jeans. So holidays give me a sense of freedom, I guess, fashion-wise.

Anyway, guess I'd better get back to it now. The suitcase is flapping open emptily, I feel like it's yelling at me. You all remember my feelings on packing, right???

Thursday, 9 October 2008

RAGE IN SO MANY PLACES . . .

I can't believe how many times I managed to get angry today. Weirdly enough, most of it happened in the past couple of hours. For once, my main place of rage (the office) was actually relatively rage-free for me. Which is odd. Yesterday afternoon we had a department bonding session/ update meeting, followed by a free meal at India Quay and several few drinks, followed by a few of us going to a pub called Black Sparrow, culminating in me not even remembering GETTING home last night and waking up this morning hungover and exhausted and going into an office that was pretty understaffed for most of the day (NOT due to hangovers, I might add! There was a lot going on.)

But weirdly enough, once I got passed the intense headache and the pain of staring at a screen when my eyes dearly wanted to be shut and experiencing R.E.M., I actually liked the challenge. I felt like I got more of a chance to prove myself capable; that fact I don't often feel like I get the opportunity to do this is probably one of the things that usually gets to me. So the office wasn't an unhappy place for me today. I know, you're amazed. But there you go . . .

Here's the things that DID enrage or upset me:

*****MY SHOP ASSISTANT STALKER*****

Since I had my 25 pound Warehouse gift voucher I decided to nip into town after work and spend it. I DO like to spend, what can I say! So you know the times you go into a shop and find yourself being stalked by the security guard, like they think you are a common thief and need to keep an eye on you? Well, the shop assistant stalker is similar in nuisance levels, but can actually AFFECT your shopping more, which is what truly frustrates me. I was just wandering the shop, approaching a rack of clothes that caught my eye, flicking casually through . . . and the shop assistant would appear next to me, clutching a heap of clothes she was returning from the changing room rack. And OF COURSE the item of clothing she was trying to return at that precise moment, WAS EXACTLY THE ITEM OF CLOTHING I WAS LOOKING AT as I flipped through my potential purchases. So she would stand there for a minute, hovering, while I pretended to ignore her and tried to concentrate on whether or not lacy frills would suit me (probably not!) and then eventually she would give up waiting . . . and just get in my way. No apologies, no "excuse me, please" . . . Nothing.

I did a loud "I cannot believe you just did that" sigh and stalked to a rack a safe distance away from her. You know what happened, right? Yep, approximately twenty seconds later, I could hear her breathing behind me. I'm actually amazed I didn't leave . . . but, remember, I had free money!

I ended up buying a beautiful bag (seriously, check it out, it's sooo nice!). After all, people don't tend to take bags to the changing room to try on. She didn't have one of those to put back to annoy me. But I'm sure if she could have, she would have . . .

*****TUBE ARSEHOLE*****

I don't get people who don't understand and abide by the unspoken rules of subway etiquette. The main rule? That you don't push ON to a train before everyone else who wants to get off has got off. I learned this lesson BIGTIME a couple of years back when I made the mistake of getting on the Glasgow underground just as a Rangers game was starting at Ibrox. Oh god, it was a nightmare, I was trying to get off at Buchanan Street while the chanting fans were trying to get on and I honestly thought I was going to end up getting stampeded. I broke two nails and punched a couple of people (luckily it was so busy no one knew it was me).

Anyway, after buying my bag and picking up a birthday present for my friend, I decided it was logical to hop on the subway. Since I've been a regular user of it for ten years, I consider myself a bit of an expert. For example, at many stations, I know exactly where to stand so that when the train stops, I will be right next to the door. Not in FRONT of it, to the SIDE of it. That way I don't have to move out of the way to let the people off, they can get off without any hassle from me, then I can quickly slide into their space.

So I'm standing there, minding my own business, listening to train approach, when once again, I feel a presence beside me. Some tiny blonde girl (tinier AND blonder than me - bitch!) was in my personal space. Grrr. The train stopped, a couple of people went to get off . . . and she tried to push around me. Oh no you don't, girl. Suddenly having a couple of bags came in handy, as I used them to block her from getting past while the remaining guy got off the train. I could tell she was pissed off, but I was more annoyed since I'd been standing waiting there for four minutes and she wasn't long onto the platform. She made the mistake of sitting opposite me, looking pissed off. I did a long loud "how rude!" sigh and looked pointedly away. And then made sure I jumped up at our stop (because OF COURSE she was getting off at the same stop) before she could. Ha.

*****ESCALATOR IDIOT*****

Common sense - and the signs on the side of escalators - dictate "please stand on the right". Can people not READ??? Have they never BEEN on an escalator before? It amazes me how many people fuck this one up.

Case in point: the girl who was on the escalator in front of me when I was emerging from Hillhead underground, still fuming from my encounters with Shop Assistant Stalker and Tube Arsehole. She was with a guy - who WAS standing on the right, I'm assuming just by coincidence as surely if he had some knowledge of escalators he would have WARNED her to move out of the way.

The thing is, I was in no hurry, and I had no intention of trying to get past. It's the principle of the matter. She was standing a step behind the guy she was with, not even alongside him. People on the left of me WERE trying to get past. And it's one of those situations where you yourself ARE abiding by the rules but because of your proximity to the event, you look like you're PART OF IT. Very frustrating.

When they left the escalator, both the girl and the guy thoughtfully did all they could to get in everyone's way. How nice of them . . .

****AND FINALLY, DYING SHOES . . .*****

Me and my silver ballet pumps have been through a lot. Considering they cost me a mere six quid from Primark, they have lasted a remarkable seven months and they've helped me walk far easier than shoes I've had in the past.

They've been to many places with me. Gran Canaria, Torrevieja, London, Belfast, Dublin, Barcelona. I really wanted to let them experience Fuerteventura too.

The thing is, they've been on their last legs (no pun intended) for quite some time now. They are literally falling apart. Everytime they get wet - which is often, this is SCOTLAND, after all! - they fall apart a little bit more. I tried to replace them with a new pair but they didn't seem to stock them anymore. So I kept hanging onto them, like a bad relationship you can't quite bring yourself to end because you like the familiarity.

And on my walk home from the tube, I really thought I had lost them. Two days before my trip. I actually thought they might be dissolving. I've got them on the radiator right now, trying to nurse them back to health. It'll be a temporary solution, granted, but I'm just hoping they have a little bit more life in them yet.

Hang on little shoes . . . The sunshine in FV will maybe make you happy again. Just like your owner . . . :)

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

WHEN YOUR BAG STARTS TALKING TO YOU, YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE . . .

Last week my sister and brother-in-law (MY brother-in-law, not HERS. One, that would be sick and two, I don't have a husband!) were in Gran Canaria.* One morning, I was on my way out the door to work, feeling a bit disorganised. (Not much of a change there). I grabbed my purse and phone, text my flatmate quickly to ask if she was ready,** stuck my make-up in my bag and hunted down my jacket. As I was doing my usual anally-retentive ritual of checking I had my keys and work fob in my bag, my flatmate replied to say she was indeed ready. I quickly deleted the message, as if on autopilot and, without putting my phone back to the main screen where it would automatically lock, I slung my phone into my bag with my purse and headed towards my bedroom door.

As I went to open the door I could hear a distant ringing noise, like a phone. "Hmm, that must be one of my flatmates," I thought. "That's why it's so quiet."

Next thing I heard a little voice. I was sure it was saying "Hello? Paula? Paula?"

It appeared to be coming from my bag. There was a VOICE inside my bag.

Actually for the time of morning, I remarkably put two and two together very quickly. Upon deleting my flatmate's message, my phone had settled on the next message, one sent by my sis the night before, and because it is a touch screen, had managed to phone it. My sister had been woken up at seven am abroad by her family ringing and had obviously panicked and thought something bad had happened.

In the meantime, I had started to think I was going insane . . .

This morning, I was sitting in work when I thought heard a tiny little voice. "Not again," I said aloud, and leaned down to my bag. I was convinced I had managed to phone someone again, but I was wrong, I had clearly imagined it. "Man, I thought my bag was talking to me again," I said to my colleague.

He sniggered. "Perhaps best not to say that again," he suggested. "People might start to wonder about you."

You mean they're not already???

Cheer-Me-Up Tuesday time??? Here is an old MTV advert which used to never fail to make me smile . . .***




*My family are operating a sort of Canary Island rota at the moment, with my dad and brother going to GC the day before my sister got back and me and my mum going to Fuerteventura the day before THEY get back. Fun, right???

**I know that it sounds like the height of laziness, but I live in a flat with six bedrooms, and she is at the opposite end of the flat. It's actually kind of a long way to walk in the morning!

***NICE underwear . . . not!!!

Monday, 6 October 2008

DO I HAVE S.A.D. OR WHAT???

I looked outside this afternoon and realised, to my shock, it was getting dark.

At 3.45 pm!!!

(To be honest, this was more to do with the fact that it was raining than anything else, but it reminded me that summer truly has gone.)

For some reason, autumn and winter always sneaks up on me. I don't know why. Perhaps because summer is never REALLY summer in Glasgow. You get the odd heatwave early on in the summer (occasionally the best heatwave actually surprises you in April) and although it's rarely COLD in winter, it DOES rain a lot. Therefore the day I look out the window and realise how dark it is for the time of day, it's only to be expected, but a bit of a shock all the same.

The other reason I can always tell winter is kicking in, other than the weather cooling drastically and the sun heading for bed early, is the fact that my mood takes a definite shift downward.

I know, surprising right?I bet you thought I was this sunny and positive and optimistic all the time, huh?

Lol.

But seriously, I do firmly subscribe to the theory that the sun affects your mood. Therefore I'm far happier in the summer than I am in, say, January. When it's nice outside, I want to be outside. I get more fresh air. I feel healthier. When the sun shines, I can sit in the park with a book or a friend and BASK. (Admittedly I get the opportunity to do this rarely, but it is FAR rarer in the winter. ) I have a suntan!!! (A proper one, not one created by risking my health in a sunbed, or a fake one that smells like stale biscuits). I'm more content.

When winter hits, I feel down a lot more. And it's already affecting my health, I feel. I seem to be becoming one big allergy recently. My rings are irritating my fingers. My neck is breaking out in dry red patches. I bruise more easily apparently (seriously, that bruise on my bum from falling off the bar stool more than a week ago is STILL massive and dark and three bruises mysteriously appeared on the inside of my arm earlier). And my state of mind is affected. I get upset about the silly things, sweat the small stuff. I should look on the positive side - like, okay, it's annoying that apparently I'm not trusted enough to be someone's out-of-office contact, but hey, at least it means I don't get bogged down in emails in their absence I guess. It still upsets me though.

Anyway, this year I'm making an early resolution - fuck waiting until New Year and all that bollocks! This winter, I'm going to try to be more positive.

Seriously.

Let's see how long I last . . .


Anyway, so as not to end on a COMPLETE downer, here is a post that totally cracked me up today, courtesy of my good bloggy friend Chele. Funny, accurate AND alcohol-related . . . what more could you want???

Sunday, 5 October 2008

MY BIRTHDAY IN PICTURES . . .


. . .not pictures of MOI, you'll probably be glad to hear (I think I was a little bit the worse for wear most of the weekend and therefore any pictures of me may have to be burned - damn this digital camera age!) but pictures of my presents and cards. Excited??? Come on, you are just a little, right??? Anyway, here goes . . .

A selection of pretty jewelery and accessories given to me by some of my friends. You're jealous, right??? Oh, there's more to come . . . ;)

Pampering goodies and some white wine . . . people know me all too well evidently . . .

A Swarovski (I MAY have got the spelling wrong on that) necklace courtesy of my friend D. A very good choice . . .


Some reading material for my upcoming holiday (one of my favourite authors as well!), make-up and something to brighten up my desk . . . providing I can find some space on it!!!


Some fabby NineWest shoes courtesy of my lovely sister (she also got me a nice top too, but I forgot to take a picture of that). I'm particularly fond of the ones on the right. Unfortunately as they are a size three (that was the only size available) and I'm a size four, it's gonna be a bit of a squeeze to wear them. I may just have to just appreciate them by LOOKING at them and not actually WEARING them . . .

More sweets and junk food than I know what to do with. Think someone has an evil plot to make me fat!!!

AND NOW . . . drum roll please . . . for some of the cards!!! The first two come courtesy of the fabulous moonpig.com . . .

From my friend V. She also got me an awesome one from this site last year and converted me to the moonpig religion.

I know I promised no pics of me. Okay, I kinda lied, but this is a CARD with pictures of me ON it, so it doesn't REALLY count, right? This is from D (she who gave me the Swarovski necklace). It's pretty damn fab, huh???

By far the funniest card I received this year and possibly the funniest card I EVER got. This one was from my office. Violent Veg cards are brilliant! (I also got a 25 pound Warehouse voucher from my team at work. You know I'll be hitting Warehouse to redeem it pretty damn quickly!)

And how about the one below??? Could a card be any more apt for me than this one??? Weirdly enough, one of my other friends pointed it out to me just last week in Papyrus and said "that card is so you." Apparently, she wasn't the only one who thought so . . .

SPEAKING OF THINGS FROM THE PAST . . .

Remember this???



It may have been cheesy, it may have been a one hit wonder, but my god . . . it IS accurate!!!

Saturday, 4 October 2008

I JUST FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS SONG . . .



Possibly the only time I LIKED Tom Jones . . .

NOT THE BEST START TO MY BIRTHDAY . . .

I woke up this morning with a pounding head, a spinning room, and the distinct feeling that something had crawled into my mouth and died overnight. I guess that's what I get for consuming too much rose wine last night . . . and not paying for a single drink, which normally I would feel bad about but for once it's probably okay since the night out WAS for my birthday.

Anyway, it's now 11.30 am and I feel normal(ish) now. Still in bed though. In my underwear. Apparently pyjamas were too much hassle last night. Can't really remember getting home but I have a feeling it may have involved a taxi and the chippy. I also have a vague recollection of the lights flashing on and off repeatedly in the Lansdowne, which probably means we were chucked out on our arses at closing time.

Strictly speaking I'm not officially 29 until this evening; I was born at eight something pm. But it feels weird to know that's how old I'm going to be. I used to think 29 was such an OLD age. I couldn't imagine ever being it (mainly because I was convinced as a kid that I was going to die before I was 25 for some reason) but I DID think if I did reach the age, that I would have accomplished far more with my life. I mean I have good friends, a steady job and a roof over my head, but sometimes I think I should have far more than that. I'm just not sure exactly what it is that I think I'm missing. Maybe I'll work it out soon.

Anyway, in honour of it being my birthday, I decided to post a challenge I did on ciao.com a few years back. It was basically devised by a fellow ciaoer who had looked up all of the famous people he shared a birthday with and then wrote his feelings on it. I thought it looked like fun, so tried it myself. It might be a bit out of date now (in fact I KNOW it is! The celebrity ages are wrong but couldn't be bothered fixing them, plus one of them is now dead I think!) but revisiting it again amused me, so here it is . . .

While browsing ciao the other day (rather than actually doing WORK, as usual!) I came across this rather intriguing challenge, set a long long time ago (or a year ago - it seems like a long time!) - what you have to do is find out what celebrities were born on the same day as you (easy enough in this day and age where the internet can be used to find just about ANYTHING!) and say what that celebrity means to you and how you feel about the fact you have a "link" between you.

So I immediately set about my "research"!!! Here are my findings. . .

CHARLTON HESTON - October 4th, 1923 (81 years old)
This old dude has a gun - and he ain't afraid to use it. And tell everyone all about it!
World-renowned actor he may be, but I don't particularly want to have anything in common with this old man. He is far too pro-guns for my liking (he has argued that the possession of a gun is a god given right!) - I personally think guns are a bad thing (I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks so). And Charlton Heston, who is essentially someone that people look up to, telling people that it is OUR RIGHT to own a gun and be able to defend ourselves, is not a good thing at all.

SUSAN SARANDON - October 4th, 1946 (58 years old)
What is so great about this woman?
I'm sorry. I just don't like her. Once again, I know she is a good actress, and I have no particular reason to hate her (unlike Mr Heston), but I don't really want to have to share my birthday with her. I think it's something to do with her face - I want to smack it quite hard at times. If I have to share my birthday with an older woman actress can't it be Sigourney Weaver or Geena Davis, or someone I can actually stand to look at? I mean, what if we (by some highly unusual twist of fate) had to have a joint birthday party? I would HAVE to push her face into the cake. THAT wouldn't be good for either of our images!

JACKIE COLLINS - October 4th, 1939 (65 years old)
This woman has a pen - and she's not afraid to - er - write with it
Woo-hoo! Finally someone I like! As a wannabe bonkbuster writer myself, Jackie is a particular heroine of mine - especially as she was the author who managed to wean me off my "Sweet Valley High" and "Point Romance" addiction aged 18 (it was getting a bit embarrassing hanging around the children's library all the time!). I love the fact that her books, which seem so supremely unreal, are actually based on real life - things her friends and acquaintances tell her about, for example. I would love to have a big chat with her and find out all the Hollywood scandal and gossip she has been party to - but I would let her do most of the talking cos I wouldn't want to give away any of my own ideas for my own bonkbuster! Hey, if she steals other people's lives for her novels, I'm sure she's capable of copying my ideas!

ALICIA SILVERSTONE - October 4th, 1976 (28 years old)
My future best friend
I was so happy to find out that me and my mate Alicia shared the same birthday. I've thought she was fantastic ever since I first saw my favourite film in the whole world "Clueless" - I think she's really cool, is a great actress (although she hasn't had much of an opportunity to show her true potential) and I love the way she doesn't always conform to the perfect Hollywood stick-thin shape, eating junk and putting on weight between roles. I remember reading somewhere once that she had been eating somewhere once and had thought that the waitress seemed really sweet so she had wrote her a little note asking her if she wanted to be friends. I was like "Oh, that waitress is so lucky, I wish it was me!" I think she looks like she would be a fantastic friend to have - she seems like a really nice, sweet, enthusiastic person. I'm more than happy to share my birthday with you, Alicia!!!

RACHAEL LEIGH COOK - October 4th, 1979 (25 years old)
Could she be my identical twin? Well, perhaps not IDENTICAL!!!
I don't simply share a birthday with Rachael Leigh Cook, I actually share the exact date of birth, though probably not the exact same time. So we could be twins, couldn't we? Albeit ones born to different mothers in different countries... (It's okay, I'm kidding, I'm not THAT much of a bimbo!). When I first found out my twin-dom with this girl, I felt a strange bond to her but also felt it was a little unfair. We were born on the exact same day, but she is the one who is the Hollywood star and got to kiss Freddy Prinze Junior in "She's All That". I, on the other hand, am a temp who HASN'T kissed him! Grrrrr. This cruel twist of fate got me thinking . . . maybe we should all find out what famous person shares our exact date of birth and use them as our inspiration! Then I realised how depressed I had felt when I compared my life with Rachael's and realised that it wasn't that inspirational an idea. Anyway, Rachael also seems like a nice person and I would probably let her in my gang - as long as she doesn't try to steal my best friend Alicia from me!

JON SECADA - October 4th, 1961 (43 years old)
He can sing his song to me anyday
I don't really know much about this Cuban-born singer apart from the fact he used to write songs and be a backing singer for Gloria Estefan (who I was a big fan of when I was younger) and that his song "Just Another Day" would have been in my review of my favourite songs ever had it been a Top 20 list (it would probably have came in at 11 or 12) so I would have to say overall that I am mildly proud, but not hugely ecstatic, to share this bond with him. He can come to my birthday party and sing "Just Another Day" for me. I'll pay him with a slice of cake - I hope he won't mind about Susan's face having been in it.



I WANTED TO FIND A COUPLE OF PEOPLE WHO WERE YOUNGER THAN ME, WHICH IS WHY THESE FINAL TWO ARE INCLUDED


ENVI (!!!) - October 4th, 1985 (19 years old)
This one was a little hard to swallow - for ME, anyway!
I have never heard of this person but her name came up on my list of birthday-sharers and, intrigued by the fact she has only one name, I checked out her filmography. Suddenly it became all too clear why I had never heard of her - I don't tend to watch a lot of porn movies, which is what she seems to have been in. Names like "Handjobs 14", "I Like 'Em Young" and "Eat My Feet" don't leave much to the imagination. She has starred in 37 of this type of film in the space of about two years - and she is only nineteen now!!! I don't think we can really call her a famous person and, while I'm fairly open-minded, I'm not letting her come (not literally or metaphorically) to my birthday party and steal the limelight by taking off her clothes or re-enacting one of her movie scenes on the dancefloor. Maybe it has been her lifelong dream to be in porn, but I just think it's kind of sad, especially given how young she is.

LENA KATINA - October 4th, 1984 (20 years old)
Christ, this is all I need - one of the lying Russian lesbians!
I had no idea who this person was until I clicked onto her details - and discovered she was one half of that oh-so-scandalous duo "T.A.T.U." Okay, they had ONE semi-good song - but they were just an unbelievable piece of PR-gone-wrong from start to finish, and I don't think anyone was all that surprised when it turned out that, oh my god, they aren't actually lesbians after all. Bascially, Lena was a puppet, her strings manipulated by her record company, manager, agent, whatever. I don't approve of that - I'm sick of big companies trying to take the piss out of gullible people. I would like her to be born on a different day, thank you very much.

And so, I end my list of birthday-sharers and my challenge. That was a bit more complicated than I thought it was going to be, but a lot of fun. I'm heading off to organise my party now - I've only got seven months to arrange it and decide which of my new "friends" to invite. Alicia and Rachael definitely. Jon will have to be there, since he's singing. Not sure about the rest. Hmm, I wonder which cake will suit Susan best . . .