* a masseuse - I'm not really a touchy-feely person, especially not when it comes to complete strangers.
*a travel agent - I would be full of holiday envy and trying to send people to places I knew were crap just to make myself feel better.
*an athlete - running up the stairs in work gets me out of breath . . . and that's ONE FLIGHT!!!
*a chiropodist - feet . . . EW!!!
*an actress - I can't cry on demand. (I can cry whenever I don't WANT to though . . . Just out of interest, is there such a job as professional crybaby???)
*a teacher - talking in front of people (even kids) would freak me out. plus it's waaayyyy too much responsibility knowing I am meant to be TEACHING them about stuff that could possibly shape their future.
*a doctor - I can't even watch scary movies because of blood and gore. to look at stuff like that on a daily basis and NOT be able to hide behind a cushion, quaking??? no, i don't think that one is going to work somehow.
*a nurse - see previous point.
*a personal trainer - motivate someone else to be fit/do exercise regularly when I can't even motivate myself? Yeah, there's a plan.
*a spy - i can't speak any other languages (save for some basic French), can't lie for shit, and can't kick ass. ie. I'm no Jennifer Garner.
*a waitress - I have serious issues with touching dirty plates that are not my own. And there's a VERY slight possibility I would feel the need to yell at people who were rude. And if not YELL, then spit in their food . . .
*a fashion designer - everything would be pink. I've heard not everyone LIKES pink, so this could prove to be a slight problem.
*a lawyer - waaayyyyy too much jargon to remember. Plus isn't that another career where you have to talk in front of other people? A LOT???
*a model - I'm only five foot three. Because that is CLEARLY the only thing stopping me becoming the new Gisele . . . ;)
*an accountant - I might actually be okay at this one, believe it or not. I got a B in Higher Accounts & Finance. However, I think I would be bored of it pretty quickly.
*a vet - there's too many animals I'm afraid of. This also eliminates the possibility of me being Noah, I guess . . .
*a judge on a reality tv show - I'm not good at telling people they're rubbish to their face.
I've ran out of occupations I think, I've racked my brain and I think I'm done. Anyone got any other suggestions I can pessimistically knock down??? Please feel free to suggest some more!