The thing I hate most about Scotland is probably the weather. Particularly in winter.
You know, despite the fact we were the first country to go in "The Day After Tomorrow", it's actually not as cold here as some might think. But this week it's been trying to prove otherwise, believe you me.
As you already know, I had a bit of a fall on Monday, thanks to a random patch of ice.
Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse.
It's one thing coming across one or two random patches of ice. But what about when half of Glasgow is frozen over? And I'm not talking that virtually harmless ice (which was the type I slipped on). I'm talking slippery, can-barely-keep-your-footing, have-to-walk-on-the-road-and-risk-getting-hit-by-cars-cos-it's-safer-than-walking-on-the-icy-pavement ice. Sheet ice. Black ice. Invisible ice. The kind of ice that leaves you breaking out in a cold sweat as you try to navigate from one step to the next, knowing that each and every step could be your last . . . before you end up sprawled out on the pavement with people pointing and laughing around you.
My walk to work yesterday was one of the scariest walks to work I have ever had. Honestly.
It actually took me nearly an hour to do what is usually a forty minute walk. Mainly because I was taking these tiny, shuffling steps, almost as if I had my feet bound together. I didn't fall, but I had many near misses, skidding about, arms flailing. I must have been comedy viewing for those bastards all nice and warm inside their cars.
What I REALLY don't get though is that the fact that you get a massive part of pavement covered in this evil ice, and then a completely normal bit. I'm assuming the pavement without ice must be made of something else. So . . . WHY THE FUCK DO WE NOT MAKE ALL PAVEMENTS OUT OF THE NO-ICE STUFF?? It's hardly rocket science, is it?
Anyway, by the time I reached the pedestrian footbridge where I met my match the day before, my nerves were already frayed. But oh my god, it was about to get much worse.
For before me lay . . . DA DA DUM!!! . . . Solid Ice Bridge!!!
Seriously, the bridge was like nothing I've ever seen before. I actually had to hold the railing for dear life the whole way across it. My feet were skittering about like I was a novice skater on first time on an ice rink, without the advantage of skates (btw, my UGG boots don't grip for shit). There was a girl a bit in front of me, clinging onto the same rail. As I navigated my way across the bridge, I notice she had stopped. For a rest, presumably. It was kind of a tiring journey, after all! But all I kept thinking was "she had better BLOODY MOVE HER ARSE PRETTY DAMN QUICK." After all, there was absolutely no way whatsoever that I was going to let go of the railing to get around her. I knew I wouldn't stay upright if I did. Luckily she started moving again. I made it to work unscathed but anytime I mentioned going across that bridge, people would be like "oh my god, were you ON that?" as if I'd just told them I had climbed Mount Everest (I haven't, by the way).
Perhaps I would make a good Arctic explorer???
Hmmm . . . perhaps not. That journey was tiring enough . . .
And for my Cheer-me-up-Tuesday contribution, I have managed to track down a link to a funny email that made me laugh last week. Go here.
And here's another one which made me laugh . . .
Hope you like! :)