So what's going on here then? Well due to one of my ever so useful traits of saying I'll do things and then partially forgetting about them (but not quite), I am writing a post over here for the 20SB blog swap. I should probably go ahead and introduce myself really. My name is Ben and you can find my regular blog over here (where you will see that Paula has already kept up her end of the bargain). This is the first time I've done a guest post on anyone's blog so it is slightly nerve-wracking, yet also quite exciting.
I will warn you that I am coming into this post almost entirely under prepared (even though I have thought about it throughout the day, and even took my notebook into work with the intention of drafting an entry in it). So hopefully things will turn out well and this won't end up being a spontaneous turd dropped from a great height (messy). I do have the talent for fluffing along without really saying anything once I get going, so bear with me and you might be able to extract something resembling an organised collection of thoughts.
Luckily I tend to do quite a bit of thinking, some would say to the detriment of actually doing things. It does make me wonder whether people who appear not to have this problem really spend less time thinking or that their though process is simply more efficient. I've always been envious of the kind of person who, when presented with a number of options can make a choice in a split second, seemingly going with their gut and not assessing the benefits or downfalls of their path of action. Sure, so spending five minutes deciding whether I want a Lion bar or a Toffee Crisp from a vending machine probably is pushing it a bit far (if you know anything about either chocolatey snack you'll know how similar they are in a lot of ways), but aren't small decisions worth taking time over just a much as the big ones? (Stop shouting 'NO!' at the screen, I can hear you).
I think this indecisiveness probably holds me back somewhat, with the fact that I still don't really know what I want to do with my life despite having a good number of years to ponder just that being a good indication that I should simply grow up and get with the program. Yeah, that doesn't sound like much fun to me either.
If the world worked in a way where people would simply offer you a range of jobs and you simply decided that "Yeah, that sounds alright to me" and went about your business that I would be a lot happier. Unfortunately you have to go through the process of deciding which direction you are going to take long before you have any real idea of how much you would really enjoy the thing you are aiming for. Go through school, pick a degree, gain some experience doing a shitty job in the same field, get into the job you think you wanted to realise that "fuck, this is a big pile of shit" sounds like an entirely possible chain of events. Hence why I've always kept my options pretty open, maybe because there are a lot of thing I could see myself doing (and I am super talented after all), or maybe because I fear ending up hating what I'm doing and the prospect of starting the cycle again from the beginning.
See, that's what happens when I start with no real subject matter. I start to sound like an angsty teenager all over again. Quick, attempt to diffuse the situation with a crudely drawn cartoon!
*my cat can't actually speak.