- I wouldn't even make it past the audition stage. Hell, I can barely make it through a group interview type situation because I can never get a word in.
- If, say, I MANAGED to somehow, by some unbelievable fluke (like everyone who had more of a chance than me miraculously becoming ill) to make it through the audition process, I would then go into my "boring person mode" - ie. not having anything to say. People would turn off the tv in their droves, scared my non-personality was going to bore them to death.
- I don't sleep well unless it's really dark.
- I can't survive without reading materials. I would actually DIE OF BOREDOM myself.
- I can't spend too much time with other people. If I don't get time to myself, I might turn to murder.
- I don't have the kind of body where I could parade around half naked all the time - and I wouldn't particularly want to.
- I have absolutely NO DESIRE to have people (ie cameras) watch me on the toilet. I don't care what I'm doing, be it peeing or worse. I'm notoriously pee-shy, and what the HECK happens when you're on the blob??? I'm not going into further detail with my worries here . . . *
- I couldn't survive without fizzy juice. What if we had no money for it on our shopping list and no one else wanted it? Or what if they withheld it from me, KNOWING how much I wanted it??? I've seen that happen to people in that house before. Big Brother, after all, IS evil . . .
- I really do NOT make a pretty picture first thing in the morning. I have a tendency not to remove my make up before going to bed. So I wake up with make up smeared on my face and a birds nest on my head that Russell Brand would be jealous of . . .
- When I was drunk (which is inevitable) I would say something IMMENSELY stupid which would cause me to be hated by every person in the UK. I'd go from boring to controversial in one drunken sentence!
- I wouldn't want to do any of those humiliating tasks that are usually forced upon the housemates. If I'm going to make a fool of myself, it has to be ALL ME (and alcohol).
- I would probably end up drunkenly snogging someone and end up branded the show slut.
- I can't do confrontation. If someone yelled at me, I would cry. A lot.
So basically I would be the housemate who is boring, constipated, alcoholic, constantly-saying-the-wrong-thing, desperate hoe-bag MESS and you know what??? I think I would prefer to keep that image of myself private.
Oh bugger, I've just told all of you about it though! Oh well . . .
Let me distract you with this week's installment of "Cheer Me Up Tuesday" - I've had a pretty crappy day today which wasn't so much due to the fact it was Tuesday (for a change!) and more to do with the fact that I felt completely like a fourth wheel in a team I've been in for nearly two years. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you're being actually PUSHED OUT, be it subconsciously or not? That it doesn't matter how hard you try, how much you work, everyone else is just appreciated more than you are??? THAT was my day, constantly. I spent a big chunk of it angry and another chunk of it trying not to cry. Anyway, here lies some toilet signs from around the world. Here are my favourites, hope you like them!!!
*I know that they won't show the footage of you on the toilet unless you were, say, peeing on another housemate. But they have to have the cameras on you, and that would just make me nervous . . .